“I saw my dad with his secretary, Sorrow. Town center. She had her arms wrapped around his and was leaning into him. She fucking laughed at something he said, and he laughed back like they were in fucking high school rather than grown-ass adults.” He jams his fingers in his hair and blows out a breath. “My mom was in Montgomery, visiting my grandma. If you want to see the city, I plan on going midweek.”
His hand falls from his hair and lands on my hip. He cups my other hip with his other hand.
“I’d like that.” I stare into his eyes.
All sorts of emotions swirl in their depths—anger, regret, fear, uncertainty. I’ve felt all of them with my parents at some point in my life. I don’t want to psychoanalyze Trace. I want to help him work through his feelings.
He’s helped me separate fear from excitement when around a boy. I didn’t feel either with Rush. I felt both with Trace. Can tell them apart when I’m with him now. I’m not feeling either. Instead, my chest aches for him.
It must not be easy seeing his father with another woman. It must kill him to believe his parents married and stayed together after high school because of his mother’s unplanned pregnancy.
“Have you talked to your dad? Your parents?” The part about going with him to Montgomery to see his grandmother was thrown in there to throw me off the obvious. Trace is upset about having to see his father with a woman who isn’t his mom. It’s a big secret to keep.
“It’s too personal. Anyway, it’s their life.” He shrugs.
For some reason, his giving up and slipping that mask of nonchalance back on pisses me off. I push him onto his back before feeling for the lever on the lawn chair. When I pull on it, the chair fully reclines. I grasp his chin between my fingers and press my nose to his. His pupils dilate. His eyes widen. His Adam’s apple bobs. With nervousness, excitement, or something else, I couldn’t care less. He has to know his birth was meant to be and was written in the stars. Trace Saints is no one’s mistake.
“You said we can’t choose our parents, and you’re right. But you can take control of your life. You also told me that, remember? What they do affects you. My parents’ actions sure as hell affected me. Guess what?”
“What?”
“I decided I’m going to find out more about where I came from. My parents watched over me their whole life. I’ve had nightmares of running into a woman who looks like me, with my eye color. She’s screaming and is a bloody mess from the notch of her sternum to her bikini line.” Anatomy and physiology is one of my favorite subjects. “My parents have dark hair and brown eyes. Why is my eye color different?”
“It is unusual.”
I beam. “Thank you for the compliment.”
He smiles back. “You’re welcome. It’s a good plan, Sorrow. Want me to help? Seven’s mom is great with computers. She can hack a few systems for you and find out where you were born and what other places you’ve lived at. Your father only became my father’s business partner six years ago. He moved here for the position. Do you remember other places?”
“Is it weird to say that I don’t? That I believe I lived in that house my whole life?”
“Did he drug you? Give you meds that made you forget? Move you out at night?”
I wouldn’t put it past him. “I don’t remember, Trace.” My memories are hazy. When my therapist asks, it’s the same. There’s this haze, this murkiness, that surrounds my past, and nothing I do will make the images clear.
“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.” He smooths his hand over my hair. My heartbeat slows. I hadn’t realized I was panicking until Trace crooned and comforted me with his voice and caress.
“Can I help you with your parents?” I fold my arms on his chest and rest my chin on my arms.
He bops my nose, and I scrunch my face, earning another smile. “Hell yeah. I have a feeling I’ll need all the help I can get, as well as a shoulder to lean on.”
“You want to lean on little me?” I ask, surprised.
“You’re stronger than you think, Sorrow.” He slides his hand under my hair and cups my nape.
“You think so?”
“I know so.” He massages my neck. “Tell me more about your time with the Grays. Was Rush nice to you?”
I drop my head on his shoulder, giving in to the pressure and release from his fingers on my flesh. He removes the damp towel from my body, tosses it aside, and wraps me fully in his muscular arms. His body runs hot. I really like Trace’s body heat.
“He’s not a bad guy.” I drop kisses along his shoulder. He tightens his grip on my neck. “I plan on introducing him to this girl who comes into the store only when I’m working. I was telling Leigh and Shay about her, and they said she hasn’t stopped by while they are on shift. I’m not sure why she comes around when I’m there. Shay and Leigh are just as nice and are more than willing to sit with her and listen to her latest book ideas.”
“Book ideas?”
“Yes, kind of like how I love to paint, she loves to write stories. The latest is about this sexy dude who is also a dragon, and he thinks the heroine is this impish girl with no backbone and who needs rescuing, but instead, he’s captured and needs to be rescued by her. Cool, right?”
He laughs. “Sounds like the two of you should partner up and co-write a kickass romance book.”
