I have as much stake in their marriage as they do.
I don’t want to be like the divorced kids in our school, spending time between two homes, sometimes in two cities. And to deal with stepkids and half-siblings. Fuck it! They’re my parents. I want them happy, and that other woman sure made my father’s face light up, while Mom has been quiet lately.
I shove thoughts of my parents’ rocky marriage aside. “I’ll surrender to another kiss in the hope of being even better as long as you accept my one condition.”
“What’s that?” She looks at me with suspicion.
Good. My little mouse shouldn’t let down her guard around the big, mean predator.
“Turn up the heat as high as you want, and make a list of all your favorite dishes or what you’ve been craving or wanting to try. I’ll order them in or cook them myself.” Sorrow will never go hungry or be cold. The temperature will be at whatever the fuck she wants it to be.
“You’d do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“It’s too much for one kiss.”
Not to me. “It’s an equal exchange. My surrender for your own.”
“I don’t like spending your parents’ money.”
Anger builds inside me. I tamp it down. “Ask for what you want. In fact, demand it. You’ve suffered enough and deserve every good thing that comes to you.”
Her eyes water. “The girls at school . . .” Her lips tremble.
I reach up and skim my knuckle over their softness. “Outsmart them. Give as good as they give you.”
“But you won’t help?” She wears down her bottom lip with her teeth, looking like a lost and helpless little mouse.
I shield my heart from the desperation in her eyes.
“As I said, it’s your fight, not mine. You’ll deal with worse in the real world, in those big cities you want to move to.”
“Okay, I’ll work on it.”
“Good.” I nod. “That’s good, Sorrow. Now, kiss me already, beautiful.”
10
Sorrow
He’s asking for another kiss because he wants to be better. He called me beautiful. Trace is putting the controls in my hands.
Warmth spreads across my chest.
I’m in control.
He said my first kiss was the best he’s had.
Trace Saints believes in me.
Will I want more from him? I doubt he’ll want anything more serious with how long he’s done this compartmentalizing of his.
Does it matter?
After graduation, we won’t see each other again. He’ll follow his friends to DU. I’ll move to Alexandria. I made up my mind on the drive to the house. If Rush goes, I’ll go too. Having a friend and the connections he has are better than being alone in a city I know nothing about.
I’ll remember Trace, but another guy will replace the memories, right?
