He slides his arm behind my lower back and the other over my stomach, his fingers interlacing over my hip. Trace is big. I’m small. Will we fit if we ever make love?
Make love?
I’ve already decided we won’t.
I’m afraid of falling for the first guy I sleep with because I have a gut feeling I won’t be able to separate my emotions from the act. Translation: I would feel too much for sex to be just casual. Trace is only into casual. He doesn’t have girlfriends.
“Lesson number one. Don’t ever believe what a guy says and does when he has you alone in the darkness.”
“Like what you’re doing right now?”
“Yeah.”
He tightens his hold. I’m sandwiched between his arms. My heartbeat flutters like butterfly wings. My insides knot. This isn’t fear. It’s the anticipation of what Trace will do next. I swallow down my nervousness. Am I ready?
“Thank you for the lesson. When should we start?” Thank goodness my words are steady. I’m a mess of jumbled-up nerves.
“How about tomorrow night? My bedroom.”
“In the dark?”
“Or with the lights on. This is your experiment.”
“Our experiment,” I clarify. “How about Sunday instead? Or we can start on Monday. That’ll give you two days to do, you know, whatever you need to do.”
“I’m good with starting tomorrow. The sooner we start, the more of a head start you’ll have.”
“I do need as much help as you can give me.” I share something I haven’t even told Leigh. “I plan on saving every penny I earn from working at the auto parts store and moving to Alexandria or Montgomery after graduation.”
Trace’s body tenses.
“Those cities will eat you alive. Too many people. Too many bad people.”
“They won’t, and I’ll be prepared. You’ll teach me the hard life lessons, Trace.”
“You trust me that much?”
“What reason would you have to steer me wrong?”
“So that you’ll fail and run back to me with your tail tucked between your legs.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Wanna try me?”
I loosen my hold on his neck, suddenly unsure about him. “Why would you do that?”
“To keep you close. To have you relying on me and only me.”
“That’s selfish.”
“I’m a selfish son of a bitch.”
“Truly, though, you want me to yourself?”
“I don’t share.”
“The other girls?—”
