So where to even start?
My mind races and replays everything we spoke about with the King earlier. There are so many questions I have for him, so many things that him and I need to navigate together. But there is only one question that continues to shadow all others, the most important of them all…
“Do youwantme to practice magic, Keane?” I ask quietly.
Keane shifts behind me and brings his hands down to my thighs, moving his fingers in a gentle caress. He lets a few moments pass between us as he considers his reply, his quiet presence weighing his next words.
I feel his face set into a grimace as he opens his mouth and then closes it. The silence between us turns heavy, and I start wondering if we’re actually ready to have this conversation.
“I have been and am prepared to take you as you are,” he finally replies, voice calm and strong, sure of his words.
My heart literally bursts at his answer, but I know it isn’t the full of
it. “…But?”
“But I cannot deny wanting you in my life for as long as possible, Alexis,” he finishes steadily.
I sigh at the answer I so desperately needed.
Keane wants me in his life, hisextendedDiscerni life, for as long as possible. But he is also prepared to take me as I am.
Ancients.
I close my eyes and tilt my head farther back, letting the battle of my heart and mind take over…
Practicing any magic goes against everything I advocate for in humanity. It alludes to the knowledge that I believe humans are less than the magical beings, and affirms that we need more to make us special. More to make us equals…
But we’re already equals, because the difference in lifespans does not dictate our worth in the Old World.
“Do you understand my dilemma?” I ask on another sigh, opening my eyes to look up at his kind brown ones.
Keane gives me a sad smile and nods his head, “I do.”
“And you will understand if I choose not to practice magic?”
“I will,” he nods again, never breaking my gaze.
I press into his strong chest, feeling so much anguish at that promise.
“I don’t like this.”
“It is not unknown…” Keane replies strongly, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on my head, “it does happen, Alexis. Desmond and Alanna’s parents are proof of that. The Court of Warriors is full proof of that.”
Ancients.Alanna’s father.
My heart cries out for him and the short story she told me on the balcony of Red Falls. How could I bring something like that into Keane’s life? I have no desire to see him seclude himself when I am gone, especially with his status and the man he is to become.
But wouldn’t I do the same? Wouldn’t I isolate myself from those around me and find a quiet and unbothered life in hopes of forgetting what life was like with him?
“Talk to me,” Keane squeezes my thighs.
“I’m thinking of what Alanna has told me of her father,” I sigh and close my eyes again.
Keane tenses for a moment and then swiftly brings a hand to my chin, pulling my face directly up to his and demanding that I look at him. I open my eyes timidly and find a confident man looking back at me.
“If I find half of what Vickam found in Maren, I would consider myself a lucky man.”
“Vickam? The pub owner in Fumagalli?”
