I tried to keep the words hidden for the full of the travel, tried to deny their reference and what I always suspected to be true. I knew what Hirovale wanted from me but also knew that I had no desire to comply. Because who is he to use me to his own end, to bring about change to the Old World without my choice in the matter? Did he ever consider that I wouldn’t actually agree with his plan? Or will he continue to push me onto a path not of my own choosing, not of my own free will.
“Destiny, Alexis,” the King says softly, and for the first time this whole morning, I’m angered at him for reading my thoughts, “you will try to fight it, but destiny will always find you.”
“I will not be used,” I narrow my eyes on the King.
“You were touched by the Ancient’s Bird of Ash, dear, just as the prophecy foretold,” he looks at me kindly, “you are already being used.”
“Because of you!” I yell in anger, “because of the path you set me on insecret. Because of the travels that led me to the damn book! Because you hid the true nature of those travels without asking me! That’s not destiny, Your Grace. That’s the pure and calculated decisions of one man.”
I turn away from the King trembling, unable to look at him.
This isn’t right.
None of what has happened in the past two years has been right. He should’ve been honest with his proposal.
Ancients…why did I never question him before? Why was I so content in just letting things be?
Because it was easy to do so,my mind reminds me, because I was provided with an easy life, a happy life, a life that begged me not to ask questions for fear of shattering the glass walls that held it so tightly together.
This is not right.
I will entertain no notion of destiny, not when every one of my actions have been led down its path by another.
No one says a word around me, even Stormfall keeps a small distance away from the table. I take another deep breath and reach out for my whiskey, bringing it to my lips for a heavy swig before I place it a bit too hard on the wood. I glance around at Cal, willing my features into the cool and calm demeanor that I’ve seen Keane do so many times, but my rage just continues to grow, and I use it to back my friend intomycorner.
“The Ancient Hirovale wants to wake his brothers and sisters of the Old World in hopes of restoring magic to all beings in the Kingdoms,” I tell my friend, holding his gaze hard, “Cal, do you have any desire to practice magic?”
It’s a trap, and the frown on his face tells me he knows it.
“Any desire at all?” I raise my brows in expectance.
“No, Alex,” Cal replies softly, “the desire has never been mine.”
“Nor mine,” I nod and look around the table in calm fury, “these paths, thisdestiny,”I spit the word, “asking me to be a champion for something I do not agree with. Who will speak for the humans of the Old World who stand against the Ancient’s agenda? Where is the voice for those who are content in their being and have no desire to change it? Because we exist, and weknowthatthere is nothing wrong with humanity. Who speaks for those of us who have no shame in our mortality, for those who have no desire to change the very nature of ourselves? Where is that voice in this secret plot spilled forth by the Ancient? Because I see it nowhere.”
And therein lies the reasoning behind my violent reactions to the Ancient, why I hid the words of the text for so long. I do not want to participate. I do not want humans to be used in the same way I have. Because there is nothing wrong with us, nothing wrong that needs to be changed. We live in our humanity and thrive, and no Ancient’s personal desire is going to use me to change that end.
I peer to Desmond at my left, noticing that all the men are looking at me differently. The Master Informer holds my gaze steadily, still giving away no emotions as I turn towards the twins. Holis and Mana both have a small look of astonishment on their faces, the reality just now hitting them how much I truly do not care for their Ancient. Mana sighs when I turn in my seat to look at the King, his kind blue eyes instantly finding mine as he gives me an earnest smile. But it’s Keane’s gaze that I seek out the most, finding the intensity there as he looks back at me in cool consideration.
I raise my brows in challenge.
Does he want me to practice magic? Is that why he had Desmond give me the oak slab and pen? Is that why he was okay with my attempt to push some form of summoning to him when I called out for him? Is thatwhy he became aroused when he saw me moving Hirovale’s mist? Does he want me to give up my humanity, my short mortal life in comparison to his?
Ancients,I desperately need the answer.
“You are, Alexis,” Keane replies quietly, taking a small step towards the table, “you are the voice that speaks for the humans of the Old World.”
My heart sinks at his words. “A cruel twist in destiny, then.”
“Or,” he holds my gaze, pulling back his chair as he sits down slowly, “exactly what it needs.”
“What Hirovale is requesting,” I reply coolly, hating that he is so calm right now, “asks for my agreement and aid in ridding the Old World of humans. If magic is restored to all beings, than humans no longer exist. How could anyone possibly think I’d agree to that?”
I release Keane’s gaze and shake my head at all the men at the table.
“What he requests is for us to discard the thing that makes us special. To discard our short mortality. The one thing that is always a constant reminder to us, the limited amount of years we have to live...”
I glance to Cal with a sad, genuine smile, “yet we do,live. We embrace that mortality. It is not a slight to us and I will not be a champion for anyone who thinks that it is.”
