Alanna.
Ancients,he shared a bed with her that night.
And I let Barnett lead me under the shadows of Gaumond not a few nights after that, my mind reminds me,and Troy before that!
Dear fucking Elders,what a mess!
Have either of us even had enough time to process whatever this is between us?
Ancients know I want to pick back up from where we left off at the mills, but I also can’t forget what he said to me that same day. Keane promised to have me under the Shadow Oak where I belonged, and currently, we’re moving in the opposite direction of that damn tree.
So how can he expect me to share a tent with him? Even if it is under the pretense of protection? How am I supposed to be alone with him without wanting to touch him or let him touch me?
I could try to remind myself of Alanna or of the Discerni woman in Marybeth’s Tavern on that first night in Gaumond. I could try to fill my mind with those visions the same way I did under the Shadow Oak. It was a sobering effect when I reminded myself of his hands all over someone else, but now my heart is quick to remind me just how good it feels to have his hands on me.
Fuck. I’m so fucked.
There’s no damn way I can share a tent with him tonight.
Because I also know that there is something more in my affections for Keane, and it has nothing to do with the nerves I’m feeling right now. I crave his challenges and the knowing looks he gives me, the banter between us that always ends up leading to deeper conversations. I crave more from him than the fun touches I would get from Barnett and did get from Troy, something that, to the very core of my being, I know I will never settle for again. Not with Keane.
I feel more than desire for him.
I guess I never did need the time to process…
“Thank you for the offer, Your Highness,” I murmur, “but Cal and I have already made arrangements to do the same.”
Keane must see the nervousness in my eyes, or maybe it’s the thickness behind my voice, because he looks back at me again with the same kindness that reminds me so much of his father.
“It’s not a request, Lady Alexis,” he says softly, “you will be sharing my tent tonight.”
Our group rode hard after lunch to gain as much ground as possible. We needed to cross into the border of Pyre by midday tomorrow if we were going to reach Red Falls before sundown. Cal had approached me before we took off to let me know that he was aware of the situation for the night. He said he agreed with the Prince’s reasoning and saw no reason to argue, though he did have a look of concern in his eyes when I remained quiet and said nothing in return.
The sun was just dipping over the horizon when our group was finally brought to a slow. Desmond pointed north towards more dead plains as Keane nodded at his side, the two of them angling their horses towards a small hill as our group followed behind. We left the main road with the sun setting over the horizon in soft reds and oranges, truly the only thing worth looking at in these lands.
Our group dismounts at the underbelly of the small hill, the slope above providing a small barrier between us and the road. It’s not much, but it’s something, and as I tie Millie up with the rest of the horses at our camp, I make sure to have both of my blades fastened tightly in my boots. Once that’s done, I quickly open Golem’s clay home. If I have to share a tent with Keane tonight, then the magical creature is going to be a never-ending presence at my side.
I smile when I hear his padded feet walk up from behind Millie.
“We’re making camp off the Great Road in the Bulwark Plains, Golem. Everyone will be taking shifts tonight for sleep.”
Golem nods in return, his eyes darting around to the rest of the group and the barren land around us. Barnes and Claymore are getting to work on Barnes’ undying fire, setting it up as a central point between the lot of us. Cal, Holis and Mana are unpacking their bags and pulling out their tents and bedrolls, and Alanna…
Ancients.Well, Alanna is walking straight towards me with what looks to be a cloth-covered bundle in her hand.
I sigh and reach for a cloth of my own.
“Let’s get on with it, then,” she greets me curtly, her blonde hair glowing under the sunset.
I follow her lead back up the small hill and down the other side, the two of us letting the slope shield us from the rest of the group. Alanna reaches for her pants and squats just as I turn around.
“Don’t make it weird and stand there in silence, human,” she says behind me.
I take a few steps away from her voice and shake my head. Nothing can make this less weird than it already is.
“Did you bring any toddy for the road?” I ask.
I’ll need some hefty drink tonight, and if she can’t provide, my next stop is Cal. He’d surely have some casked ale and smoke.
