“He did not dance with me.”
Eleanor looked at her cousin. “I beg your pardon?”
“If you are thinking about Lord Finchley, might I also remind you that he did not dance with me either? His brother did not know where he had gone, for I did ask him.”
Her face heating, Eleanor turned her head away as they meandered slowly through the London street on their way to Gunters. “I was not thinking of him.”
“No?”
The light twist of doubt in her cousin’s voice shamed Eleanor. She was not speaking the truth; she was well aware of that, and yet she did not want to bring herself to even say his name at present. There was so much of him in her heart and in her mind, she could not seem to think about anything else. After they had spoken, Eleanor had thought she would be relieved, glad now to know that the Marquess had not abandoned her as she had thought, having taken his amusement from her. Instead, she had found that his explanations had not been satisfactory, for she had seen how he had prevented himself from sharing all.
And my heart still yearns for him.
That was the crux of it all. If she did not have any warm feelings for him, then setting him aside would be simple indeed. The fact that shedid, however, still have a desire to be near him suggested that her heart was not yet willing to set him aside for good… and that was somewhat frustrating.
“You have not said a word in the last fifteen minutes, my dear Eleanor.”
Eleanor closed her eyes briefly. “Forgive me, Catherine. I am not good company, it seems.”
“But you do not want to share with me what is on your mind?” Catherine asked, gently. “I can tell that there is a good deal troubling you, and no doubt it is to do with Lord Finchley.”
“You saw me go after him.”
Her cousin nodded.
“Your mother was not pleased with me, and she had every right to be upset with my improper manner, but I could not simply let him walk away, not without finding out some of the truth from him.”
“And you have done so?”
Eleanor swallowed tightly. “I think so. There is more he would not say to me, but I can certainly understand now why he ended our connection in the way he did. It was not right of him, but there was a justification for it.”
“And that still does not content you?”
With a shake of her head, Eleanor let out a slow breath. “That will be frustrating for you to hear, I am sure, but there is more going on than he told me.”
Her cousin’s eyes flickered. “That boy with the note in the alleyway – did he explain that?”
Eleanor shook her head. “And whilst it might well have been that the reason for his absenting himself last evening was because of our conversation, I do not think it was.” Seeing hercousin’s frown, she quickly explained. “He spoke of our dancing later that evening and did not indicate that he would not dance or that he may need to depart without warning. Given what I have endured from him already, I do not think he would have done so lightly.”
“So there may well have been something else that took him away from it – and from you,” Catherine murmured, as the heat in Eleanor’s cheeks returned. “I must say, Eleanor, I do not think that Lord Finchley has lost any of his feelings for you. I saw the way he looked at you when you first met.”
A dry, broken laugh cracked from Eleanor’s lips. “He was flustered, as was I.”
“Yes, but there was more than that,” Catherine said, practically. “It was as if he could not take his eyes from you, even though he wanted to do so. When he mentioned your waltz having already been taken, his jealousy could not have been more apparent!”
Eleanor blinked. “You think he was jealous?”
“That another gentleman was dancing your waltz?” Catherine smiled at her as they entered Gunters. “Of course!”
“Then why take yours?”
With a quiet smile, Catherine released Eleanor’s arm so they could sit down. “Why, to cover up his jealousy! He had to try and hide it somehow, did he not? He had already embarrassed himself by mentioning your waltz, so this was a way to cover that embarrassment a little.”
Eleanor did not know what to think, surprised at just how easily her cousin had been able to offer an explanation. Recalling the way Lord Finchley had looked at her as they had spoken, Eleanor licked her lips, wondering if the darkness in his eyes had been from something other than the difficulty with his sister. What if it had come from a deep regret, a longing to returnto what they had once shared? A longing that he feared would never be fulfilled?
Permitting Catherine to order their ices, Eleanor considered all that she felt for Lord Finchley. Yes, there was that curiosity to discover what else it was that troubled him at present, but did that not stem from a desire to return to his arms? Had not her hope blossomed now that she had learned the truth of his absence from her?
But if he had wanted to rekindle our connection, then would he not have said such a thing to me last evening?Her lips flattened, tugging to one side.So does it not mean that this difficulty, the one he would not speak of, might now be setting the two of us apart even still?
