Jamie nodded. Simple was an understatement. If she couldn’t get it homemade, Luna didn’t bother. Jamie had a lot of… questionable outfits until she was old enough to get a job and shop at the local mall.
“You’re not me. You have always wanted more. To see the world and how other people live. Your father was wary of letting you go to the city, but I told him that it was your life and your own path to forge. Children are either like their parents or the exact opposite. If this is you being the opposite of us, then it’s not so bad. Etta is a clever, kind woman it seems. I trust your judgment. If she makes you happy and treats you well, as your mother… that’s all I can ask for! I also understand that you want to do things to help her business. That’s natural. But, honey… haven’t you considered something very crucial?”
Silence fell between them. No.No, Jamie had not considered a damn crucial thing. She had been too busy feeling sorry for herself.
“Everything you talk about is Etta, Etta, Etta. Or if it’s not about Etta, it’s about trying to impress these other people you don’t even like! What doyouwant to do?”
“What do you mean?” Wasn’t it obvious? She wanted to help Etta…
“I mean what are you going to do with your life? What happens after the wedding? Do you take up the mantle of a businesswoman’s wife? Do you spend all your days kissing ass… or do you go into seclusion, because you can’t stand the pressure? I can’t imagine you wanting to live either kind of life. It doesn’t suit you. I’m not saying don’t marry the woman if you can handle what it throws your way, but you can’t make your life all about her!”
Jamie sucked in her lips, waiting for it.
“Damnit, Jam, get a life!”
She fell over, eyes staring blankly in front of her as her mother got up.
“You’re a good, compassionate girl, Jamie. Perhaps too good and compassionate. You give away too much of yourself, especially if it’s for someone you love. You can’t do that. You can’t live like that. It doesn’t work.It doesn’t work. Listen to your mother about this if nothing else… if you give everything left in your youth, your life, your vitality and your soul to these people, you will have nothing left for yourself. I’ve seen it happen to others, and I can’t bear the thought of it happening to you. Trust me. Doing something for yourself… and you seem to have the means now to do anything you want… will give you more confidence anyway, because your existence won’t be wrapped up in what others think of you. Do something you’re proud of. Something that expresses your creativity. Anything other than what I’ve seen you do since I’ve been here… which is nothing short of being someone you’re not!”
Jamie tossed back her covers. Her mother interrupted her before she could speak.
“Is it terrible that you’ve been embarrassed and hurt your fiancée’s business prospects? Of course it is! But she’ll recover. You will move on. You live, you learn, you take your lessons and turn them into something that will stay with you forever. That’s the benefit of getting older, honey. You learn what really doesn’t matter and enjoy your life more. Because the older you get? The more you realize there isn’t much left. You have to make time for yourself. You have to find things that make you happy, damn what others think. It’s great that you have a good relationship with a woman who adores you, but what are you doing for yourself? I love your father like the moon loves the stars, but I can’t revolve my life around him. We live on the same small farm, but I have friends I talk to far away from him every day. We have different hobbies. He loves sporting around while I would rather create things.” Luna shrugged. “If I spent every hour of every day involving your father and his intimate world, I would go crazy! There isn’t even any pressure that comes from that like it does with you!”
Whatever tone Luna used, it inspired Barbarossa to make a grand appearance from Etta’s office across the hall. She sauntered in, mewled at her human grandmother, and sat between them with her tail swishing as always. Jamie leaped down and scooped her up, burying her face in Barbarossa’s warm, silky fur as she began to purr. Sometimes,she was good for something other than a foot warmer.
“Oh, don’t worry, hon. Like I said, you’re still young. You’re also going through a transition. In a few months, you’ll be able to focus more on what you want outside of your marriage. I’m ramming your ass about this right now because I don’t want to check in with you ten years from now and find out you’ve ran yourself ragged trying to always get down on your knees and bend over backward for people who ultimately don’t mean anything to you. Make changes now while they still have power to transform your life.” Luna smiled for the first time in five minutes. “I brought my Tarot deck if you would like a reading. Maybe we can figure out what path you can take.”
Normally, Jamie would have declined, but hearing her mother’s admonitions, warnings, and words of profound love had melted her inside. While stroking her calm kitty, Jamie managed a wan smile and said, “I’d like that. We could have lunch in here, if you don’t mind.”
Luna pet Barbarossa as well, her eyes slowly closing in eternal feline happiness as she soaked up this attention. “Sure thing, honey. Let me go get my deck.”
Jamie lay back down, clutching Barbarossa close to her until the cat couldn’t take it anymore. By the time Luna returned, carrying a wooden box, the cat had made a break for the far end of the bed, where she now gave herself a bath that lasted the duration of Jamie’s tarot card reading.
She didn’t take much stock in tarot or other forms of divination. She just wanted to spend some time with her mother, the only person who recognized what it was Jamie truly needed.
Some sense knocked into her skull.
Chapter 31
Jamie agreed with her mother that changes were necessary. If there was one thing every rich housewife had in common – not that Jamie saw herself as a future housewife, mind – it was some esoteric or equally broad hobby that kept them somewhat sane when dealing with the pressure. Monique had her business and a deep love for the lifestyle she lived. Gwenyth, if Jamie listened to the rumors, still moonlighted as a sought-after bartender at many upscale clubs and was writing a cocktail cookbook. Back west, Nala was going to school and lived a low profile enough life to go out and do whatever she wanted. Lara, while not a housewife by any stretch of measure, made flirting and seduction her main hobby outside of work and marriage – and had one of the biggest shoe collections anyone had ever heard of.While I’m thinking about it…Kathleen was the farthest from being anyone’s housewife, but she had her charities that she was passionate about.
What did Jamie have? Nothing.
Okay, so she didn’t have nothing, but she didn’t have her own business, and she didn’t have some all-encompassing hobby. Jamie didn’t count playing first-person shooters, whether in co-op or solo. She also didn’tcount playing with or grooming the cats, taking strolls through the garden and woods, or shopping. Those were fun in short bursts once in a while, but they weren’t things that fulfilled her emotionally or spiritually.
Luna was right. Jamie had to stop clinging to her relationship and all the external drama it brought. She would never be able to avoid being Mrs. Etta Coleman and the accompanying trappings. Jamie would have to continue to do her best to be a model wife of a CEO when it was pertinent… but she couldn’t let it control her. She couldn’t let it cloud her mind and turn her into someone she wasn’t. Damnit, her mother was right! Jamie hadn’t done anything meaningful just for her in much too long.
Before, it was about survival. Her life revolved around the next job, the next paycheck so she could pay rent and have some food to eat without drooling over the cat. When she ran herself down doing that, she turned to the video games and window shopping for quick fixes. They were escapism. They weren’t meaningful.
Now that Jamie didn’t have to worry about work, she had to find something else to do with her life. Even though she knew she should focus on this after the wedding, she couldn’t help but think about it constantly over the next couple of days.
She was downtown on Thursday, having met with Jenny and finally choosing a baker for the cake and other goodies. Jamie was sent home with fresh cake samples for Etta to try out later when she returned to the penthouse from work. The woman had already texted her to announce she was having meetings all day, so there was no point in going to the office. So Jamie put on the bravest face she could muster and went to her favorite upscale restaurant, where the staff pretended she had experienced no recent social gaffes but everyone else patronizing the place gasped at the sight of her.
“She’s bold, showing her face after what she did to Hyacinth Winston,” some old woman said, not even hiding her voice. “I heard Ms. Colemanhad to pay for the cleaning…”
“The closer we get to this wedding, the more I suspect something is afoot. She must have cheated and become pregnant. I suspect an iron-clad prenup and then she’s out in another two years when Coleman finds her replacement. Hopefully a proper woman this time. Sometimes someone of a certain age – thirty, of course – doesn’t realize she doesn’t have to settle down with the first tart who pays attention to her for more than a year. I’m still going to the wedding, though. I’m sure it will be divine, and I want to show off the outfit I got in Paris.”
“The audacity of her coming here… doesn’t she know the owner is a friend of Lady Winston’s grand-niece?”
