“I mean it. I’m glad you could make it to my wedding. I’d be sad if you couldn’t.”
Luna’s face softened, oozing maternal love. Her arms opened wider. “But?”
That’s who I get it from.Jamie hugged her mother, feeling that woman’s ample bosom push against her face. When it was her mother, it was comforting. Anyone else? Weird. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon. We’re in the middle of planning the wedding, and I have things I need to tend to all the time. I hope you understand.”
“Don’t worry, honey. Your father and I can amuse ourselves quite easily. We were happy to find out you live up in these darling little hills. We mighttake a walk around tomorrow.”
“All right. Just remember that these are very private properties. I don’t want you accidentally – or purposely – trespassing.”
“Oh! Don’t worry! I didn’t tell your father that the man who had him arrested for protesting lives a few miles from here.”
“Oh, good.” With any luck, her parents wouldn’t be the death of her… and Jamie often felt like she was running out of luck lately.
“Etta was right,” Jenny said, taking the preliminary tour of the garden. “This would make a gorgeous place to have the ceremony. These colors alone are profound, and in June… can you imagine when all of these flowers are in bloom?”
“I’ve thought about it many times since she first suggested it.” Jamie tugged on Barbarossa’s leash, pulling her bulbous cat out of the bushes and onto the brick path. It was time for her walk, which amounted to whenever Jamie wanted to go outside on a sunny day. Or when she had to go outside, such as when showing her wedding planner around the property. Barbarossa, however, was more into chasing bugs and sniffing dirt.
“You were right,” Jenny continued. “It would be impossible to accommodate your guest list in this space. We’d have to rip out this whole part of the garden to sit half.”
“Yes, that’s what I told her.” Jamie tried not to giggle as Barbarossa ran up to her and smashed that fluffy tail against her bare leg. “She didn’t like any of the venues that were available or willing to work with us. She expressed that she doesn’t want to get married in a church if Idon’t want to.”
“Gosh, I love churches.” Sighing, Jenny pulled out her tablet and punched some figures into the calculator. “They’re set up perfectly for hosting weddings. Perfect backdrops and photo ops. It’s almost a shame that so many people aren’t religious these days.” She stared at the number appearing on her screen. “It will cost more than a pretty penny of Ms. Coleman’s to make this work. At all. It would require construction. This is assuming that you and her marry on the balcony up there. That would be the easy part. Although for you to walk through the guests… shit, thinking about this is giving me a headache.”
“You can do it, right?”
“Of course I can? I’m not the fucking best around for nothing.” Jenny put her tablet away and crossed her arms. “So, we’ve got your venue. As long as Ms. Coleman is willing to pay…”
“She will.”
“…Then things are starting to come together. You’ve picked out a color for the wedding, so we can get started on the bridesmaid dresses soon. You’ve finalized the guest list and sent out the invitations. Aside from your parties, all that’s left to figure out is the cake, the dress, and the flowers. Well, there’s a lot to figure out, but those are the main things for you to think about right now. I’ll take you and Etta cake shopping soon. Remind me to schedule it.”
Jamie nodded. Barbarossa flopped between them.
“Also, I no longer accommodate animals in the bridal party, except for a nominal fee. Really nominal. They are an utter pain in the ass.”
“I agree with you. She will be locked up in the bedroom all day.”
“Good. Now, there is also the matter of the menu…”
“Dios mio!” Beatrice shrieked up on the balcony. Not only did that get Jamie’s attention because, well, shrieking, but also because Beatrice never slipped into Spanish unless she was so startled that her brain unlocked a language she claimed to have forgotten long ago. When Jamie and Jennylooked up, they saw the housekeeper clutching her heart with one hand and pointing to the edge of the woods with the other. “That man… that man is…”
Jamie spun around. There, emerging from the depths of the woods, were her parents. They had gone for a walk earlier that morning, claiming they needed the exercise. Jamie didn’t disagree and told them of Etta’s favorite trail before they headed off into the early morning fog.
They were back now… and missing something very,veryimportant.
“Hi, honey!” Luna, scratching the top of her breast, greeted.Mom, you’re…Scratching her breast. Hernakedbreast. “Trail is great! We’ll take it every day!” Saul walked briskly, his nude body sauntering through the garden. Arms pumped. Something Jamie never wanted to see on her father bounced with his every step.
Jenny dropped her tablet on the ground.
“Mom! Dad!”
“They’re naked!” Beatrice cried in disbelief from above.
Sure enough, Mr. and Mrs. Joy showed off not only what they had, but exactly where Jamie had come from twenty-some odd years ago. Both had aged respectably over the years, but Jamie was not prepared to see her mother’s overhanging stomach, saggy breasts, and cellulite bouncing on her thighs and ass. And, well, she had never expected to see her father’s “little buddy” again after the last time she saw it when he had just come out of gallbladder surgery.
“Who is this lovely young woman?”
“This is… this is the wedding pla… you’re naked.”
