“I’ll call you when I have lunch.”
Jamie rolled over and fell asleep until Beatrice announced that the doctor had arrived.
She was barely aware of his existence, although she was already feelingbetter. This was the same man who tended to her and Etta during their first round of the flu, and he implied that Jamie might have had the strain that came and went without ever actually going away. “Five of my other patients have had this so far this year,” said the doctor who made house calls all around the hills. “Seems to have originated at a party somebody held back in January.”
“I don’t remember going to any parties.” She probably hadn’t. “I got this from Etta.”
“Even so,” the doctor continued, prodding this and pinching that. “I need to ask you a few questions.”
He was all up in her business. How often was she throwing up? What time of day? Did she have any other ailments? When was her last period? When was her next one due? What about family history? Her grandmother had ovarian cancer? And an aunt had lymphoma?
Jamie blocked most of this interview out, simply because she didn’t want to acknowledge it. She felt miserable. The doctor’s job was to make her feel better. When he left, he told Jamie that he would be back in two weeks if he hadn’t heard anything, and to call him if she got worse in the coming days.
She did not get worse but felt woozy every morning for a week. The one-time Etta tried to initiate sex after they both felt better, Jamie put a stop to it because every time Etta touched her stomach, breasts, or her thighs, nausea consumed. Soreness. Tenderness that had nothing to do with love. The one-time Etta got inside her, Jamie squealed in pain. Etta gave up while Jamie freaked out on the phone with Seena.
“Girl,” she said. “You need to take a pregnancy test.”
“Are you kidding? Etta’s a woman!” What did her friends think she did, exactly?
“Right, right. Well, he wouldn’t shut up about cancer in your family, right? Maybe he thinks you have cancer!”
“Don’t put that evil in my head!”
“I’m serious. Have you any weird lumps? Abnormal bleeding? You said it hurt during sex? Oh, my God, that’s what happened to my cousin, and they found out she had cervical cancer!”
“Stop it!”
“Whatever you say. I’ve also got some extra snot sticks if you want them.”
“Ew!”
“What?”
“Snot sticks?”
“Yeah? I’m talking about in case it’s something that’s not the flu. Did that doctor swab your nose? Calm down Lady Joy. Although now I would love to hear one of those highfalutin women from the papers call a nose swab a ‘snot stick.’”
“I would not!” Yeah, she would. A little. Mostly the uppity women from the bridal shower.At least I’m not throwing her baby shower. That fell on someone else’s shoulders.
Jamie hung up a few minutes later, and when Etta emerged from the shower, she asked Jamie how she was feeling.Gross. So gross.
It was best to put such absurd notions out of her mind. Seena always jumped to the most ridiculous conclusions, and they almost always ended in someone being on death’s door. Fainted? Pregnant. Feeling nauseated? Cancer. Period a day late? Menopause. Looked at a picture of cute puppy?Congrats, it’s lupus!
So Jamie forced herself to forget about it for five more days… when her respiratory and stomach problems got better, but not much else.
Seena got to her. She arrived at the manor the next time Etta was gone, holding a brown paper bag.
“You got the stuff?” Jamie asked. When Seena popped open the bag and revealed boxes of cookies, bags of chips, and beer. Jamie stuffed it beneath her arm. They then went on to eat a huge bowl ofpopcorn while playing the bloodiest video games Jamie owned. Beatrice had to plug her ears whenever she entered the living room to tidy something up. Jamie was ready to go deaf to drown out all the thoughts in her head.
“So, if you’ve got cancer…” Seena shouted over the sounds of machine guns and grenades exploding in the background, “Are you gonna be one of those rich bitches who gets elaborate wigs and pretends she has the same hairdo every day? You could just buy a Grandeur! Don’t they cost like ten grand or something?”
“I don’t have to worry about that!” Jamie shouted back. “Someone will give one to me. Like the actual designer or something!”
“Say what?”
“It’s true! Sometimes, I get random pieces of jewelry and dresses to wear to functions Etta is invited to as free advertisement for them!”
“That’s awesome!”
