Forgiveness? How much of a fog had Jamie been in that she needed forgiveness now?
Why was she, a woman kneeling on a floor in a sex club, so disappointed in herself?
Etta moved away, giving Jamie a full view of Monique still sitting in her chair on the other side of the coffee table. She didn’t say anything, but her look spoke on her behalf.“That’s how a sub feels in these situations, dear.”Monique was the only woman in that club who could look at her like that and not make Jamie feel dumber than a bag of lost marbles.
Chapter 49
“You are definitely the most beautiful woman in this whole club.” Etta rubbed her thumb along Jamie’s chin, feeling the corner of her mouth before pushing back toward her ear. “I know. I did a tour earlier while I cooled off.”
In the fifteen minutes she had disappeared, Jamie spent a lot of time soul-searching. The poor dear was still at a loss for words over how she felt disappointing Etta.She told me to stop, and I was so lost in my lust that I didn’t hear her.Etta, like Jamie, had a safe word for their scenes.“No”was not Etta’s safe word, meaning that came from the Domme in her mind and loins, not the human in her heart and soul. The only sacred thing Jamie had transgressed was the understanding between Domme and sub. Jamie had not obeyed her, for better or worse.
Etta came back to a changed woman. Jamie sat on the couch, her demeanor the most submissive Etta must have ever seen.I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be disappointed in me. I didn’t mean to disobey you. Let me be with you, ma’am.This feeling was new to Jamie, yet she followed the path, her heart saying it was the only way to enjoy herself tonight.
Now they stood behind a stage, Jamie shaking in her sandals. Etta haddropped a bombshell on her a few moments ago.
“Tell me that you will be the greatest woman I could possibly take out on that stage. Mean it. I have to trust you when you say it.”
Jamie looked her in the eye. “I am nothing but the best, ma’am. If you’re going to marry me, I must be the best.”
“Isn’t that so?” Etta removed her jacket, draping it across the back of a folding chair. “I’m going to take you out there, Jamie. All of those people are going to see you, both as my sub and as my future wife. When we leave that stage, they will know that you are the greatest woman to ever grace my heart or my bed. Promise me that they’ll see that.”
Tingles flooded her. Tingles from what? From fear? From desire? From the thought of pleasing her woman in such a way? “I promise. I will obey you. Whatever you want. Except…”
“Except what?”
Jamie broke eye contact.Ashamed? I hope not.“Please, don’t make me have sex like that. It’s not just embarrassing to think about, I…”
Etta touched her shoulder, bringing Jamie’s eyes back to her. “I would never. I don’t want to have sex in front of people, Jamie. What we did on the couch was far beyond what I would normally consider comfortable. What we do when we are alone is a sacred experience between you and me. What I’m proposing is that they see our bond in other ways.”
“They would like that?”
“They don’t come here for the sex, Jamie. They come for the same thing I sometimes enjoy seeing. They want to see the bonds between dominants and submissives, which don’t have to consist of nothing but sex acts. I know you can obey. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Jamie was still nervous – she never did like being the center of attention much, let alone like this – but if Etta said no sex, then there would be no sex. Oral included, hopefully.
“Good. Even so, we should have a safe phrase for you to use if you get tooscared. Your normal safe word is too obvious. So, if you decide you really don’t want to continue and I should end our scene prematurely, tell me, ‘I’m starting to feel a bit numb, ma’am.’”
“Got it.” Jamie could remember that. She hoped. “Just promise me in turn that it won’t be something that embarrasses me outside of this club.”
“The only way you could possibly embarrass yourself is if you misbehave on purpose. I can’t imagine you doing that. Besides, I think you will find most of those people very forgiving otherwise. You know what else?”
“What, ma’am?”
Etta smiled. “If you behave well, you will bring me very good business. Your own social standing would go up with many of those people.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. They’re not too hard to figure out in this place.”
Jamie wanted to believe it. Heaven knew she needed all the help she could still get.
“Let’s go, my flower.”
Etta kissed her, softly at first, then hard enough to let Jamie feel the rush of impending lovemaking course through her. Naturally, they were not going out to make love… not the kind she was used to, anyway. They were, however, going to show off a certain kind of love that until now Jamie thought was so utterly private that not even Monique would see the full brunt of it.Then again, she saw me give her ex-girlfriend oral sex, so…
Jamie pulled her hair out of its ponytail and let her black locks flow over her shoulders and breasts. Etta fixed up the last of it before letting Jamie reach over and adjust her buttons. “Are you ready?” she asked. “If you’re not sure you want to do this, let me know now. I’ll be disappointed, but I won’t be angry. Even the disappointment won’t last too long.”
Jamie returned her smile. “This is one of our last weekends before we get married. I want to spend it having as many adventures as possible. This would… certainly be an adventure.” Never in a million years had Jamie figured she’d be caught dead on a BDSM stage putting on any kind of show. She still wasn’t sure about it, but it was better than wonderingWhat Iffor the rest of the year. “I love you, Etta.”
