Jamie slowly reached down and pulled her Kate Spade bag off the floor and slid it across the table.Don’t make fun of me for liking Kate Spade…
“It’s a lovely bag, to be sure.” Carolyn looked at it from the side, from below, and definitely from the top. “Nice quality. Clean. I like Kate Spade, although she’s more your style than mine. These days I stick to my Louis Vuitton and Chanel.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
“Hey, you could be known for your department store chic.” To Jamie’s horror, however, Carolyn pulled the zipper wide open and started rummaging.
“Ah…”
“Oh, I won’t tell what I find in here.” Yet here came Greta, carrying a tiny tray of buttery crackers. The maid glanced at the contents of Jamie’s bag before scurrying out of the salon.
“But…”
“Don’t mind me. Taking a look at how you organize your bag. Can tell a lot about a girl you know.”
Jamie had rarely felt so horrified in front of a relative stranger. Yet here Carolyn was, pulling things out of Jamie’s purse and lining them up on the small bistro table. Her pale pink Chanel wallet, the same silver compact she had since first dating Etta, Sephora makeup, tampon, and backup pad in a daisy-motif package, her notebook and a drugstore pen, and a package of tissues she picked up from the bathroom of a fancy restaurant.I never thought about getting those until I sawthem there!
“All right. Looks like a woman’s purse, right?” With a flourish, Carolyn withdrew her small black purse from the side of the table and opened it, showing Jamie its contents. Brown Louis Vuitton wallet, red makeup pouch, and… nothing else. “Here’s mine. You may not believe it, but I’m carrying the same exact shit as you, and a couple more crucial items.”
“You keep the other stuff in your makeup pouch?”
“Only the makeup. Really, you need to get one to keep that crap organized. I’d tell you that even if you were dirt poor and living in a floorless hut. Love your purse, please!”
“Okay…”
“Here.” Carolyn revealed a hidden zipper inside her purse, stuffed full of items – which she then lined up next to Jamie’s things. Not just tissues, pens, and calling cards, either. There were many pill bottles. Some of them were over the counter, but there were the typical assortment of hormones and other prescribed medications a woman of Carolyn’s age might carry. Oh, and a condom case. The woman was prepared. “You may not believe it, but those women are going to look in your purse any chance they get. Start putting the stuff that reminds them they’re human in your inside pockets. Your tampon and pad alone remind them that they’re dirty menstruators. We’re hush-hush about that sort of thing. Meanwhile, your wallet and makeup pouch remind them that they’re refined women of means.”
“I see.”
“If you don’t have a planner or address book yet, get one. They’ll come in handy. For a while, put the planner – a very nice one, of course – in the main compartment. This will make people think you’re busy and have a life that includes remembering many appointments. Believe it or not, once I started doing that, I was invited to many more soirees and garden parties…” Suddenly, people thought I was worth conversing with because they perceived my time to be limited. In truth, I had maybe two to three things penciled in a week.”
“I never thought of that.” Carolyn shoved her things in her purse and handed Jamie back hers. “How does that help me make nice with people?”
“You make nice through your actions. The way you carry yourself, speak, and of course, the kind of parties you throw. You may not have thought about it before, but unless you want a reputation as a social recluse, you’re going to be throwing parties once you’re married. You’ll have to.”
“I was afraid you would say that.” Jamie kept having flashbacks to the last party she threw. “I don’t even know where to start there.”
“I saw that notebook in your pocket. Get it out while I get us some actual booze.”
This was the second time Jamie was being taught by a woman well above her level of sophistication, but unlike when Adele took a stab at it, Carolyn actually imparted some knowledge unto Jamie. Maybe it was because she was much more engaging. Maybe it was because she grew up lower class and figured out how to make this new life work for her over the many years she had been subjected to it. Whatever the magic formula was, Jamie didn’t feel like she was being condescended to, which was a huge plus when it came to asking for clarifications or questions regarding how to greet other wives and what she should or shouldn’t wear to the racetrack. Because she would make an appearance once every other month if she knew what was good for her reputation.
It was exhausting, though. Knowing what to do, what not to do, and having it fielded through the eyes of a woman who “understood where Jamie was coming from,” included a lot of pencil lead and erasers flying over Jamie’s notebook. Wait, why couldn’t she wear yellow to so-and-so’s parties? Wait, what was so special about this brand of vodka, and why should she always have it on hand at soirees? Was it really necessary to have more than four courses at dinner parties? If she didn’t join social clubs, how fucked would she be?
Jamie sat back after downing a glass of scotch. Normally, shedidn’t care for scotch, but the masculine drink gave her the extra oomph she needed to take stock of the past hour.
Carolyn’s dry throat needed more cider and scotch. She then drilled Jamie about her upcoming wedding.
“Everyone’s coming,” Jamie assured her. “I’m both excited because it’ll be my wedding day, but I’m also petrified because all of high society’s eyes will be on me. The last thing I need to be worried about is leaving a good impression in my dress.” Whatever that dress would be.
“People won’t care as much about your actions on your wedding day. Everyone gets hyped up or extra snooty, depending on the personality. It’s what you’re wearing, what you’re serving, and how you serve it. As long as you look like the proverbial angel princess, nobody will give a shit. Not on that day.” Carolyn finished her drink. “For God’s sake, though, you better be wearing a top-tier designer wedding dress. That will be counted against you otherwise.”
“I figured.”
“Well,” Carolyn said with a desperate sigh. “If nothing else, I’ll always be sure to include you on my guest lists. It’s who you know as well as what you do. If you amass enough people who like you well enough, you’ll make headway, slowly but surely. Just… make sure you can handle that grueling months or even years in between. The older you get, the less you’ll care, but that doesn’t mean your youth should be wasted trying to please people when you really can’t. For that matter, don’t think you can get away with not caring at all.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Carolyn stood up and stretched her legs, one hand extending to Jamie. “I wish you luck, dear.” Her fingers wrapped around Jamie’s. “This isn’t an easy life you’ve fallen into. Not everyone will like you. Some will keep being nasty toward you for the rest of your life. It’s the same no matter your standard of living, but it can feel especially ruthless when you’re the wifeof an esteemed woman. Everything you do reflects on her.”
