“Of course. Nothing we say here will travel beyond this room.”
“Well, Danica was my first. In many ways.”
Monique considered that for a moment. “I see.” There was no judgment either way in her tone. “That is a very special relationship, then. I cannot say I share that with my wife.”
I knew that too. Alicia was late to the gossip mill her wife belonged to, but everyone knew that Monique had been in serious relationships with dominants before her current wife. One would have never guessed she grew up no more privileged than Alicia. “So to that end, I cannot say one way or the other about my inclinations in the bedroom.”
“Do you enjoy what you have explored so far with your wife?”
Alicia had to stop blushing. Soon she would match the color of the flowers on her dress. There was such a thing as too much coordination, after all. “Yes, I have. I think we’re compatible in that regard, but I have many questions that she cannot answer for me.”
“Of course she can’t. She’s a Domme. They’re terribly daft in so many ways.”
The deadpan way Monique said that made Alicia laugh. “I suppose my main question is how I can pursue a personal lifestyle with her while maintaining egalitarianism in ourbusiness ventures. I didn’t even know I would be doing this kind of business until we got more serious.”
“First of all, it’s a fallacy to believe that even in your personal life, you still cannot achieve egalitarianism, or as much as it exists. People don’t understand that our lifestyles are about nothing more than finding a unique way to share love and joy in life. Forgive me for relying on my personal experiences, but there is a huge difference between someone who wants to take care of you and one who uses your inclinations for their own sadistic gains.”
Alicia didn’t know how to respond to that.Danica doesn’t want to use me, right? Does she want to take care of me?So far, the signs pointed to yes.
“My wife and I are about as deep into the lifestyle as you can get, and it hasn’t affected my own independence any.” Monique pushed aside her empty teacup. “I trust her wholeheartedly. I couldn’t have married the woman if I didn’t.”
That was directed right at Alicia.
“In turn, she trusts me too. These dominants tend to have fragile egos and are easily heartbroken, although few will ever admit it. Before me, my wife hadn’t seriously dated in years. She got too close to her former girlfriend, and she ended up too overwhelmed. She had to learn to trust me when I said I was fine and knew how to draw hard boundaries.”
“I see.” Right. Hard boundaries. Alicia couldn’t go along with everything Danica wanted. They had to do thingsAliciawanted as well.She doesn’t date much either. I thought it was because of what she saw with her parents, but…Perhaps Danica was afraid of having her heart broken, too.
“Some women in our positions forego having a life outside of their lifestyle. If that works for them, I won’t criticize it. I personally wanted to keep working and building up my own capital after I got married. In truth, I only see my wife about halfof the week. I’m currently on my weekend away from work. Even when I was on maternity leave, she still had business to tend to elsewhere. Yet we still manage to have a fulfilling marriage and lifestyle. It’s hard sometimes, yes, but I like to think our dedication to each other makes it easier to bear.”
Should Alicia be taking notes? “I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve been letting my wife lead everything, since she’s the one with the experience, and…”
“And because she’s charming, persuasive, and used to getting what she wants.”
“How do you think I ended up married to her in such a short amount of time?”
Their conversation over the next twenty minutes was enlightening. Alicia only had a vague notion of what truly went into a Domme/sub lifestyle, and most of that came from Danica’s generous training.I’m still not sure if that’s what I want all the time.Alicia drew comfort from her tokens when she wasn’t around, but that didn’t mean she wanted to drop everything she was doing to go serve. Yet didn’t she enjoy many of those aspects, anyway?
Then again, this was the woman who was more than happy to dress her up in lingerie and lead her around nightclubs on a leash.
Where did the line between lifestyle and reality draw itself?
Monique couldn’t tell her that. She could only tell Alicia that she needed to take a hard look at her needs, wants, and dreams for her life. When she was done psychoanalyzing herself? She needed to keep a firm backbone. Just because she was the submissive in the arrangement didn’t mean she lacked a spine.
“The easiest trap to fall into,” Monique said before Candice finally came back from the bathroom, “is to believe that she runs the show. A good Domme doesn’t believe that herself, and neither should you. It’s a partnership. You both give and takeuntil you find the equilibrium you’re searching for. How much protection do you want? How much service does she want from you? In my relationship, both my wife and I have our own staff who help us in our busy lives, but I see it as my role to be the one who helps her unwind after a long day. It’s cathartic for me as well. What’s the point if you’re not getting joy out of it? Then you really are a servant. You have to decide if it’s worth it to you.”
Alicia had almost too much to think about. What was her role in Danica’s life? In the family’s history? Yes, she was her wife, but how was that defined? Where did her role of wife end and business partner begin? And how much did she want to rely on her to teach her everything, both in and out of the bedroom?Is that even a good idea?It was convenient, but Danica was merely one opinion out of many. She had the privilege to learn not only from her father (for what that mattered) but to have extensive schooling, absorbing histories and opinions before filtering them through that brilliant brain of hers.I have to admit how attracted I am to her confidence and intelligence, but I need to be more discerning about which of her opinions I blindly go along with.That didn’t just serve as a reminder in the corporate world. That applied in their personal life as well. Experience didn’t always trump reality.
Conversation turned again once Candice came back. Monique was more than happy to use what was left of their hour to give a rundown of some clubs and charities Alicia might want to check out during her tenure as Mrs. Moreau. Did she enjoy high society chitchat? The country club had been courting the Moreaus for years, and Alicia may be the first person since Danica’s grandmother to bridge the gap between society and family. The Lady Warner also had glowing reviews for some others she considered dear friends… and some dire warnings. Luckily, none of those warnings had shown up on Alicia’s list of new business associates.
“So what do you do for a living, Ms. Holt?” At least they were done talking about Alicia and how she needed to get used to her new name.
Candice’s teacup shook in her hand, face more than a little grim. She had that clearOh shit, what do I say?look on her face.
“It’s all right,” Alicia said. “I highly doubt Mrs. Warner cares that you’re a filthy pornographer.”
At the very least, Mrs. Warner’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Well,” she began, leaning toward Candice. “Isn’t that interesting?”
“I’m not an actress!” Candice was quick to say. “I work on sets and behind the scenes… oh God, I said behind, didn’t I?”
