There was no denying that the Alicia they encountered in the high-rise downtown penthouse was a changed woman. Gone were her jeans and plain T-shirts. The only ponytails Alicia Moreau wore were decorated with Hermès scarves and gemstone clasps. Her makeup was expensive and flawless. Her shoes? Deadly.Don’t forget I smell like a billionaire now. It also helped – or didn’t help – that the Moreau gravitas was rubbing off on her. Soon, she would be sucking people into her black hole as well as her wife did.
None of that worried Alicia as much as their meeting with Danica did. Her mother had seen a glimpse of her before, but she also knew her as the woman her daughter threw out of a hospital room. Now they were married!
To their credit, they were as polite as they could be. Both Dennis and Linda shook hands with Danica, who learned their names immediately and happily welcomed them into the living room. Of course, she then went on to pour alcohol for everyone, and neither of the elder Colberts drank anything but cheap beer.Oops.
Dennis sat carefully on the edge of a couch. His eyes darted around the large, bright room, mentally adding up price tags that were too low to begin with. Linda tried to be comfortable, but when Lissa showed up, offering hot towels before dinner, the Colbert matriarch acquired the same delirious look as her husband.
Terrence was the one who made Alicia crack.
He had never taken well to change. The Colberts had lived in the same house since he was five, partly because the youngest child could barely handle changing what they had for dinner on Tuesday nights, let alone changing schools and houses. If they were visiting a relative, it was best if that relative had the same kind of home environment as the Colberts. Alicia could have managed this in her previous residence. Some throw pillows. Worn-out carpet. The clacking of dishes and the TV playing reruns. Unfortunately, Alicia Moreau lived in a different world.
The boy gawked at everything, from the crystal vases to the throw rugs attempting to add warmth to the living room. Once he caught sight of the view? He hid on the couch farthest from the window. Alicia had to hit the button closing the blinds before Terrence had a panic attack.
“This is, uh…” Dennis scratched the back of his balding head as he stared at a huge painting of an orchid that suspiciously looked like a purple vagina. “This sure is fancy, honey.”
Terrence consoled himself with his handheld video game while Linda attempted to make more light conversation. “Your grandmother would’ve loved a place like this. And look at you!” She laughed, uneasily. “Wearing such pretty clothes. What is that? Nordstrom?”
Alicia touched the bow hanging on her black blouse. “Givenchy.”
“Who?”
“Jhee-von-shee.” Alicia had only known how to pronounce that for about two weeks, but she said it fluently now.
“Well, I don’t know who that is, but the outfit is pretty.”
Danica looked her father-in-law right in the eye. “Your daughter is a remarkable woman, Mr. Colbert. My apologies that I had to marry her so quickly. I didn’t want anyone else scooping her up before I had the chance.”
Dennis gaped at the woman in the Yves St. Laurent dress and sporting a hundred-dollar hair trim she got every other week. “Well… might’ve been nice to go to the wedding.”
“We’ll have a ceremony soon,” Alicia assured her father. “You will definitely be there.”
Both of her parents gave her the same look.Just tell us why you really got married.”
“Unfortunately,” Danica interjected into everyone’s thoughts, “I have a meeting I must be getting to. It’s a pleasure being formally introduced to everyone. I’ll be back for dinner.”
Only Alicia gave her a hearty farewell on her way out the door. When she returned, sitting between her mother and father and listening to the cartoonish sounds of her brother’s video game, she attempted to keep smiling.
“So how did you two meet again?” Linda asked.
“At work.”
“I… see,” Dennis muttered.
“You’ve known each other how long?”
Why did you have to leave, wife?Danica was the real charmer. She knew how to woo anyone to her side. She had seduced Alicia, hadn’t she?
Alicia had every reason to be nervous about her parents’ weekend visit. They were about as comfortable as demons in a church, and while nobody voiced their displeasure, their indifference (at best) or outright contempt (at worst) was palpable on the air they all shared.
Danica coming home at six-thirty did not help matters. She had invited her mother over for dinner as well, and when Julia arrived, Terrence screamed.
Because things aren’t awkward enough as it is!
Linda attempted a conversation at the dinner table. However, Danica was on another planet with her thoughts, and Julia was not used to conversing this much with strangers. It probably did not help that the teenage boy stayed glued to his video games so he wouldn’t have to look at the older woman’s deformed face. And nobody was comfortable with the two bodyguards standing behind them.I don’t even notice them anymore. Alicia noticed them tonight.
Everyone could agree that the food was fantastic. Lissa had outdone herself with pot roast and all the trimmings. Julia had brought over Chardonnay, which she and her daughter discussed at length while everyone else pretended to have any interest. Except for Terrence.
Dennis checked out from dinner to watch his son. Julia and her daughter continued to speak of Chardonnay. That left Alicia and her mother. That wouldn’t have been bad, except Linda spent her time watching Alicia interact with her wife.I know what you’re doing, Mom.
