Coach turns on his heel and leaves.
I press my lips together to resist the impulse to break into swears, even though the situation absolutely calls for it.
Bellanti will ruin the team, that’s for sure. And even though I’m warning them, no one is taking the situation seriously.
God, I hate him.
I hate that I still don’t know why he left. I hate that seeing him makes my chest feel like I’m at the bottom of a collapsed human pyramid, and I hate that even now, even angry, part of me wants to grab him by the collar and celebrate that we’re finally playing on the same team.
CHAPTER
TWO
Enzo
Axel Knight storms down the hallway, and I do the sensible, self-respecting thing and refrain from running after him. I know I made the right call when Coach corners him. From their body language, Coach is yelling at Axel.
Great, now Axel’s going to hate me more.
He’s acting like this isn’t his fault, when it is. I tighten my fists and walk to the exit.
The last thing I need is for the Blizzards management to sit me down and explain the difference between athletic spaces and non-athletic spaces.
Did I make a huge mistake by coming here? I promised Gaby in the hospital I would contact Axel. But maybe she didn’t mean I should move across the country and join his workplace.
My heartbeat quickens.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Have I failed at being a guardian to Luca two weeks after Gaby’s death? Have I already ruined his life? Tied him to a deadbeat dad? At least Gaby and I had Mom for a while after our father scampered to the Caribbean for its sparkling blue waters,cheap beach bars, half-naked women, and convenient lack of alimony laws.
I blink rapidly and quicken my pace. No one is going to see me have a breakdown at the Blizzards arena on my first day.
When I heard Dmitri had been deported, it felt like a sign. The Blizzards needed a forward, and I needed to get to Boston. No way is Axel raising my sister’s child without me nearby. I called my agent before I could talk myself out of it, and the Blizzards’ management was super-efficient. They know about Luca. They don’t know Axel is the father.
But Axel hasn’t asked about Luca once. Maybe I could have pretended Gaby didn’t die. The press never got hold of the story.
I close my eyes. Maybe I made a mistake.
When I met Axel when I was eighteen, I didn’t think to myself, he’s going to be a deadbeat dad, but my mother didn’t think that of my dad either. I’m sure my sister thought she would meet her Prince Charming and not end up a single mom.
I hate I noticed the breadth of his shoulders and the way his sweatpants hung low on his hips. The same body I’ve spent a decade trying not to imagine pressed against mine. The same body that was pressed against my sister.
Coming here was supposed to loosen the tightness in my chest, not add another knot, like a fisherman gone wild in a net demonstration.
Part of me hoped Axel would be the sweet boy who used to babble aboutLord of the Rings.
But a man who sleeps with my sister, then abandons her when she’s pregnant, isn’t sweet.
Why hadn’t I seen who he was earlier? Was I blinded by his blue-green eyes? Distracted by the curve of his neck and breadth of his shoulders?
Thank God I’d never confessed anything to him.
If only I’d never introduced him to Gaby.
He probably does know why I’m here. All his excuses for why we can’t talk are about how he doesn’t want to face his responsibilities.
The cold hits me the moment I step outside. This is absolutely nothing like LA.
