“That’s back when men wore wigs. A wig is like a hat, but it looks sort of like real hair. People wonder if you’re really good with the curling iron or really good at buying lifelike hair.”
Luca blinks again.
So do I.
Axel opens a door. “This is your room, Luca.” He glances at me. “Come in, Enzo. All together.” I follow obediently. I regret it once Axel shuts the door, and we’re in a dark room.
“Look up,” Axel says.
Axel has decorated the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars. My breath catches.
“See the stars? They look like space, right?” Axel asks.
Luca cranes his head up.
“Aren’t they pretty?” Axel continues. “Your uncle loves stories about space.”
My throat dries. I remember walking across the quad at Concord with him, frost crunching under our shoes, pointing up at the winter sky and naming the constellations. I remember the blue glow of his laptop screen during Star Trek marathons, the warmth of his shoulder against mine, pretending I didn’t want him to kiss me.
The stars glow green-white above us. Luca’s face is tipped up, his eyes wide. He looks like his father. My chest aches.
“You can see them when you fall asleep. But when it’s day…” Axel flicks on a light. “… You can play.”
I look around the room. It’s amazing. A sleek orange car bed is in one corner, and a large play mat is on the floor in the shape of a busy intersection. Axel picks up a toy car. “See, we can pretend to be driving cars on the street? Isn’t that cool?”
Luca’s lower lip wobbles. His whole body goes rigid in Axel’s arms. My stomach drops. The car bed. The play mat. The pile of toy cars in the corner. Gaby died after a car accident. Luca was in the back seat.
Axel looks at me horror-struck. “You know what? Maybe we should get another one.”
He flips the play mat, so the intersection is obscured, then scurries to the lightswitch so we’re in the dark again.
Luca calms.
“Nothing is as good as spaceships,” I say.
Axel snorts. “Uncle knows best.”
I shrug. “I told you to appreciate Star Trek.”
“Have you seen the new Star Trek?”
“No.” I haven’t wanted to see it. It reminded me of Axel.
“Silly uncle,” Axel says. “You would like it.”
Axel ushers Luca out of the room. “Do you think you would fit on my shoulders, Luca?”
Luca chews on his lower lip.
“Let’s try it.” Axel puts Luca on his shoulders, keeping his legs steady. “Hold on.”
Luca’s small fingers grip Axel’s hair, tugging experimentally. Axel doesn’t flinch, just steadies Luca’s ankles with his broad hands.
Axel grins. “I need to put some product in so you can make cool shapes. Maybe get some spray-on dye.” He glances at me. “Do they sell them?”
“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for children to be spraying dye from high places.”
Axel snorts. “Good point. See Luca, sometimes your uncle is smart.” He stiffens, and maybe he doesn’t like the idea of praising me.
