I would not give in. Not this time. I would not rip off his clothes and bang him right here. I would not!
Chapter 18
Aurelia
It was the longest day of my fucking life, and with a past like mine, that was saying something.
I didn’t give in. That was the one win I could claim for the day. I did not reach down and slip my hands between us to capture his hard length. I didn’t devour his lips or sink my teeth deep into his neck to mark him. I didn’t even gyrate against his unbelievable body to relieve the tension. I sat still in broody silence and stared out at nothing, silently dripping with pleasure as the horse jostled our bodies against each other.
We did stop once, as he’d said we would, but it was for a quick meal and a bathroom break before we were back on the road. He didn’t let me ride with Hadriel. He didn’t even take off the saddle so I could ride behind him. Nope, I was back in his lap, leaning against his chest, both hands in his shirt to have skin-to-skin contact and pretending like it was a normal thing to need to touch someone so badly.
Now, with dusk fast approaching and my body feeling like it was a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces put back in all the wrong places, we finally stopped. He gave me a curt command to dismount.
“Can’t.” It was the first word I’d uttered since our argument.
“What?” he asked as the rest of the pack dismounted and began making camp.
“I can’t dismount. My body is too stiff. I’d fall off.”
“Why didn’t you tell me—“ He cut himself off in angry frustration. His fingers dug into my back, both crushing me close and clearly displaying his annoyance with me. “Fine. Hang on.”
His hand slid down to my butt as he stood in the stirrups, pulling me up with him. He leaned forward, bracing one hand on the saddle and keeping my chest flush with his before swinging his leg over the horse and basically jumping off. He landed gracefully, both arms around me now, one under my butt and the other across my back.
I waited for him to put me down onto my feet so I could stretch or bend or just fall down and stay there. Instead, he ensured my legs were still wrapped around him as he followed the others to the right and into a little clearing.
“Don’t you worry about how it looks when the alpha carries a prisoner around like this?” I asked in bewilderment. “Or rides with her like you were. Or...” I thought back to when he carried me through the camp, his cock stuck inside me, our activities incredibly obvious. “Or walking around in the middle of fucking?”
“No. They trust that I’ll do my duty.”
“But they’re not concerned about the moral dilemma of fornicating with the enemy?”
“No, because of what I just said.”
That didn’t make sense to me at all. They were pretending to be the good guys, but they were cool with an alpha participating in morally gray activities? I mean... fucking the enemy? They should not be okay with it. They really shouldn’t. I mean,Iwasn’t okay with it.
And maybe that was actually the crux of the problem. Because Granny had filled me with stories of alphas capturing women and using them to their liking. That wasn’t new. The issue was I liked it. Not rationally, obviously. Logically, I was not okay with any of this. I did not want my body intimately reacting to the man who had abducted me, killed my family, threatened my community, and was unlawfully keeping me prisoner. It was wrong, ass-backwards, and it was seriously, unequivocally fucked up. I just wished my stupid body would get on board!
He reached what seemed like a random spot and stopped, delicately uncoiling my feet from around his waist and setting me down gently. Weston was back to the chivalrous gentlemen so at odds with the vicious alpha marching me to my doom.
His hot and cold routine had me spinning in circles. I couldn’t handle the dichotomy of him hating me one moment and treating me like gold the next. I didn’t know what to do with Weston, the kind, caring man. It weakened my resolve to hate him and then I was left angry and hurt when he switched back to being Alpha. I was left ashamed and embarrassed when I remembered he was the bad guy.
I wanted to scream in frustration. My nerves were frayed from being in his proximity for so long without relieving the overwhelming sexual tension.
Or hell, maybe I wanted to cry. My heart hurt from the revelations about Granny and my village, I was scared about my future, and felt beyond frustrated that these people would not believe the product wasn’t dangerous.
Basically, I was not handling this abduction very well. Not even a little. I was at my breaking point. Someone was going to go down with the ship. It would not be me.
“You’re no better than Granny, you know that?” I shouted as he steadied me, standing close and with the utmost patience even though I could see a crowd of people standing by, waitingfor his direction. I jabbed him with a finger. “You’re really sweet and amazing some of the time, but otherwise, you’re a huge asshole. Just like Granny, apparently. She gave me gifts and made me sticky buns. And then, yes, she punished me, but only when I broke the rules. You said she was keeping me caged? Well, what are you doing? And let’s not even go into you hate-fucking your prisoner. You’re using me just like she did. The only difference is you’re just doing it for your own pleasure.”
I winced as I said it, my heart feeling ragged. I doubled down on my anger to compensate.
“She kept me in the village to make product, and now you’ve captured me with the intent to kill me so I’ll stop. She at least consulted me about the product. She listened to me about it. You? Not a chance. I’ve proven it is not dangerous. You’ve seen my village; you know it isn’t running rampant with addiction and death. Yet you will not listen to me about its properties. You want to kill me, and come hell or high water, you plan on doing it. So how different are you, really? I said it before and I’ll say it again,Alpha, you are not the good guy in this story. And like when you worked for this king and queen, stealing people and ruining families, you’re not the powerful guy who is just. You’re just the guy with power.”
He leaned down until he was directly in my face, his body coiled tightly and his breath coming quickly. The air heated between us with his wavering restraint, his lips inches from mine but coming no closer. He was barely in control of himself.
I was not in control of myself. Not at all.
“She gave you presents to keep you happy. She punished you to keep you in line. She spent all her time manipulating you, obviously so. I have not done any of that. I don’t give two shits if you’re unhappy. As far as how I’m handling you, I have my reasons.”
