I was older now, though, and the experience of last time had hardened me. Alexander’s punishments had sharpened the point and dulled my receptivity to pain. My mother would continue to live on and now I would carry Granny with me aswell, keeping them in this world with my nightly prayers and moments of reflection.
I could survive this. I had to, or their memories would be lost.
First, I stoppered the tears. Crying was useless. It took valuable time, energy and brain power. It made me slow. I couldn’t allow myself the luxury right now.
Next, I re-tucked away all irrelevant emotion and information. The pain of the past was nothing but a shadow. Only this moment mattered.
Finally, I allowed my anger to move to the forefront of my mind, where it quickly boiled to rage. In this moment, I was being held captive. Either they’d try to kill me soon or they’d take me for their own gains. Anger would make me sharp. They were the enemy, and enemy deserved no quarter.
“See?” The man removed his hand from his heart and pointed at me. He leaned back, crinkling his nose. “That, right there, is why I hold the spear. They said you don’t have access to your animal?” He didn’t wait for my response, not that I planned to give one. “Well, the last time something like this happened, that woman happened to be a rage-monger dragon and I was lucky she didn’t take it out on me. Although...” He paused in thought for a moment. “I guess we had a lot more distractions at that time. Orgies and demons and pegging—it was a nightmare.” He brightened up. “Cheers!”
“What?” The question escaped me despite having planned on not speaking.
“My last ward-turned-queen had a lot of distractions.” He paused for a moment, one eyebrow arching.
“What?” The question leaked out again.
“Not impressed, huh? With the queen bit, I mean. Damn. I’d wanted to come back to this kingdom and gloat but I couldn’t tell anyone and blow my cover. It was a cock softener, to be sure.”
I couldn’t wrap my head around his outfit, let alone the craziness coming out of his mouth. Having been raised in one drab village after another, the last full of dreary and sullen people who were slow to smile, my brain couldn’t quite process the effervescent and boisterous man in front of me. I couldn’t do much more than continue to stare blankly.
He took that as a cue to keep talking.
“Unlike back in the day, there are no distractions in this camp. Zero! I did not expect this. I know quite a few people on this detail, and when they are off-duty, they are usually a shit-ton of fun. Not here under the alpha’s nose, though. Not even when it’s their free time. I can’t findanyone to play ‘open wide, here comes the cock’ with! It’s an absolute nightmare.” He lifted his hand like he had a drink in it. “Cheers!”
Overloaded with things that were beyond my comfortable comprehension, my attention wavered from the man and instead took in the scene around me. Tent-shaped shadows loomed within the diminishing glow of lamplight near us. Those I could see ruffling in the breeze seemed plain, splotched with dirt or whatever else.
Beyond me, barely discernible, a large shape swished its tail. A horse, obviously. The rich had such things. They wouldn’t want to walk and ruin their extravagant, shiny shoes. Or their finely tailored suit with the haphazardly placed penises, of which I’d so far counted ten.
“You know,” he said whimsically, his gaze unfocused as he contemplated his thoughts. “I thought I’d be content living a calm and orderly kind of life. After we re-took the castle, I’d been happy to give up the alcohol and shenanigans and cocks everywhere I turned. But fucking hell, with the royal baby and the good leadership and no parties or danger or terrible-decision-making-turned-shame-fucking to distract me, I have to admit, I am bored out of my mind. Sure, sneaking out to bang abunch of randoms in the woods was fun for a while, but none of them are random anymore. I know them. Most importantly”—he quirked a perfectly sculpted eyebrow—“I know how they perform.” He spread his palm across his chest. “I amnota fuckboy trainer. Well, you know. You’re what, twenty? Thirty? I’m shit with women’s ages. Anyway, you’re too old to go giving classes on how to properly fuck. We want our men to come preconditioned. If a guy can’t figure out the right time for a hard asshole fingering, what fucking good is he, know what I mean?” He shook his head. “I just can’t help him.”
I felt my jaw slackening, my rage melting away into brain-buzzing confusion. It wasn’t just his jacket that was colorful—and incredibly crass. I’d never heard anyone speak like this, not to mention what he was talking about. Orgies? Asshole fingering? What in the...?
“So I figured,” he went on, “that I might join this detail and see the sights a little. A couple of the guys who’d agreed to go are really hot and had seemed somewhat cock-curious, so I figured I had that going for me. And if not, I could bang my way through the kingdom of my birth, you know? Maybe meet an old chum and rub my new position in their face. But that damn alpha runs a tight ship—understandable, but still, I’ve banged next to no strangers. And the cock-curious, you ask? They just wanted me to play with their dongs. They had no interest in reciprocation. Fuckers. Let the ladies deal with them, as I’ve got no time for one-sided sword fighting.”
He was clearly distracted with his, uh, predicament. This was the perfect time for me to work at my bindings and figure out a way to escape. If I was freed, I could easily knock that spear aside and then swing my hand or foot at his face. He didn’t seem like a person who was ready for spontaneous combat. He certainly wasn’t a man who could run fast with those shoes. I could knock him aside and make a break for it.
The problem was, even if I could get free without his noticing, I didn’t have a lantern. Those in the camp were all hanging relatively high, too high to quickly grab. Without light, I wouldn’t get far. If I didn’t knock him out—and it was unlikely I could given I didn’t have a weapon—he would likely, and probably carefully, take off his colorful attire, shift into a wolf or other four-legged creature, and follow my scent trail. He’d be on me before I found the edge of the camp.
Besides, where would I go? This encampment couldn’t be in our territory. Granny’s people would’ve found it when heading to and from their sentry positions. Given the few times I’d been Outside in the last handful of years, I wouldn’t even know which direction to go for help. Assuming anyone would help me at all.
No, I’d need to be patient. They had to move me to their home base. There’d be a time along the way for me to get free; I just had to be ready when it came.
“Then there’s the problem of no dragons. Can you believe I even said that? But it’s true. I am bored to fuckingtears,like I told you.” He chatted along merrily as though he hadn’t had someone to talk to in ages. “Dragons are insane and are prone to extreme violence for no reason, but at least they give you something to look out for. They’re unpredictable. This lot—“ He jerked his head right and then followed it with a glance, indicating where the others had gone. Probably to my village.
A momentary pang hit me. Like with that fire those fifteen years ago, I would lose everything. I doubted very much that they’d allow me to go collect my things before moving me. I’d have to find my way back, someday. I didn’t have much, but the few things I did have were precious to me.
Thankfully, the pain that should’ve overwhelmed me continued to be held at bay. It would consume me, if not in this headspace. I reminded myself there would be time to cry after I got to safety.
“They’re all very...” He made a hand gesture, down in a line in front of him and then out to the side. I didn’t know what it meant. “The alpha chose the best and the brightest. Do you know what that is code for? Boring and uninspired. They have no fucking sense of humor. Dick jokes? Lost on them. How is that even possible?” He widened his eyes at me. “A bunch of themhavedicks!” He shook his head, clearly at a loss. “It’s a fucking shame. They follow the alpha’s command to the absolute letter. No stubbornness that the king and queen have to beat down, no veering out of their formation...” He slouched. “I’m the odd one out, can you believe that?”
I didn’t give him a reaction, but yes, I definitely could believe it.
I was still trying to process everything when it dawned on me: they’d clearly gone through the village and found the supply. Of course they would have. It was a free gold earner.
“You’ve sampled the product.” My tone was flat.
His eyes brightened with curiosity. He opened his mouth to speak, but then backed off and lifted a hand. “Let’s just get the formalities out of the way, shall we? I’ve seen the towns where your product has run wild. I do think your operation is filthy and you’re hurting a lot of people. You have a lot to answer for. Officially, I am a strong thumbs down to you and your operation.” He took a deep breath, a smile flirting with his lips. “With that said, and given it is the dragon royalty’s problem and not mine, I will say... I’m so fucking curious. Seriously.”
