“Come on, y’all have to try these sliders from this deli down here. They probably don’t go with anything else on the menu, but I love them, and they were a special request.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Tania walked towards the food right away, and I followed behind her, looking at Proctor out of the corner of my eye.
When we got to the food, we grabbed some of the fancy ass plates and started to stack different foods on them, even though I knew I wouldn’t eat much of anything. I’ve lost twenty pounds since around Christmas time, and the only thing still thick on me is my butt. Everything else had slimmed down. It’s crazy how grief is nature's natural weight loss supplement, even when you have other shit going on.
“Excuse me. Can you fix me a plate too?”
The voice behind me, I knew too well.
“You are more than welcome to get a saucer and fix your own plate, Proctor.” I turned around, trying to pretend his presence didn’t move me at all.
“No, would’ve been a sufficient answer, baby girl. Long time no hear from.”
“Yeah, it’s been a little while. I just had a lot on my plate.”
“I bet, same here. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about you.”
“Thinking about me or our sex?” I asked, making conversation as I traveled down the buffet line.
“Sex, of course. You didn’t give me a chance to get to know you, and I don’t fall in love quickly like my son.”
He shook his head like Hawk being in love was a bad thing.
“How long are you in town for?”
“Just until tomorrow. Monday, I have an important meeting to go to.”
He nodded his head as he placed his hands in his pockets. I was trying my hardest not to fall victim to that boss ass demeanor he possessed, but it was just so hard. How he seemed to have gotten finer in the course of months is insane to me. Or maybe it’s that I secretly had thoughts of him running through my mind constantly that I tried to hide because of guilt.
What Proctor didn’t know was that the important meeting I had was with my OBGYN to check on the baby. I hadn’t told anyone, not even my best friends, but I’m pregnant. Three months, and the reason it is such a secret is because I’m not really positive by who. The facts are, I had sex with Josiah and Proctor within a week of each other, and I will only know the paternity once the baby comes. Even then, I’m not sure if I will ever tell the world that I cheated on Josiah on our wedding weekend and the last weekend that I saw him alive.
That may just be a secret that I take to the grave.
The party continued, and I tried to make the best of it. Enjoying the music and the beautiful view of the mountains in front of us. Every so often, I would catch Proctor looking at me, or he would catch me glancing at him, but I would play it off. Being thirsty has never been in my M.O. If anything, I was always the one who enjoyed being chased. When the entire party was told to gather so that Hawk and Cyn could say a few words, Tania and I stood next to Cyn’s family, who were just eating up the fact that she was rich now. I could see the look on her mama’s face, which was a mix of joy and intrigue. I know they are thinking of all the ways they could spend Hawk’s money. Cyn’s parents were very bougie to say they never had much.
“Everyone, we just wanted to say a quick few words to thank each and every one of you for coming to celebrate.” Hawk started his speech.
“Both me and Cyn got cursed out by so many people when we got married without anyone we care about around, so this was our way of celebrating our union.” Hawk looked back to her.
“Yes, he is right. We love each and every one of you, and I am so happy that everyone could make it out today. Especially both of our parents who are here with us.”
Cyn added, pushing my attention to Proctor, who scanned the room just in time to catch eyes with me and give me a seductive smile. That slow tug of the right side of his mouth, I couldn’t ignore, and it mirrored right off my face.
While we were smiling at each other across the pool as the speeches were being given, a loud commotion drew everyone's attention to the door. Hawk and Proctor both stepped toward it, only halting mid-stride when we saw that it was police swarming in.
The police didn’t scan the room and came in knowing exactly who they were there for.
“Harrison Proctor. Hands behind your back.”
Proctor didn’t move at first, and Hawk stepped towards them after letting Cyn’s hands go.
“Arrested for what?” Hawk questioned them.
“Under arrest for the murder of Josiah King.”
The words hit harder than any gunshot could have. Is this for real? My knees locked. My hand flew to my stomach, and the pain shot all over me like I’d been hit by a car. At that moment, I reached down to my thigh and pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t still back in my hotel room, sleeping and dreaming of the worst shit that could’ve happened to me today.
How the fuck do they figure Proctor killed Josiah, and why is this the way I’m finding out that he is dead? This can’t be life. This can’t be how my story ends.
