I’m not sure what could be done, but I will do just about anything to get this shit the fuck over with.
“Get it over to me by email, and I’ll take a look at it right now.
I didn’t have anywhere to be when I left the condo, so I just kept moving because sitting with my thoughts felt more dangerous than driving with them. Last night with Cyn was for sure staying with me heavy, not the details of our night per se, but the feelings, the kinds that remind you who you really are when you’ve been playing a role for too long. For the first time in a minute, I felt in control of myself. She made me feel good without needing permission. That shit mattered more than I wanted to admit, because being around her made me alert in a way I hadn’t felt in years. Not scared, just aware. The kind of awareness that comes when you respect somebody and don’t want to move sloppily around them. I couldn’t remember the last time Nina made me feel like that, not since before her father died, back when she still looked at me like a man and not something she owned on paper.
The more I ran it back in my head, the clearer it became that I wasn’t tripping over one bad decision or one night that went left. I was tripping because I’d been boxed in, living inside a setup that never had my freedom in it from the start. I had money, status, and a name that rang bells, but none of that meant shit when every move I made felt monitored.
When my phone rang from the passenger seat next to me, I reached over and grabbed it, praying for the first time in a long time.
God, help me get out of this with no bloodshed or money lost. Amen.
I kept it short before picking up the phone and reading the message that had come through.
Holly:Call me back as soon as possible. I think I found a way, but you may not like it. Swing by my office so that we can talk
I read and that shit had a nigga stomach hurting. What the fuck did that mean? Will staying with Nina be the only actual option for me to have everything I’ve worked hard for?
Hawk:Okay, I’m on my way.
Chapter 11
Cyn
The next day
We looked for Josiah all night with about ten of us searching Vegas high and low, going to every hospital or clinic we could find. It was almost as if Josiah had disappeared into thin air.
Tania and I eventually came to the same conclusion: he had run off, said fuck this wedding, and got cold feet about marrying my friend. She was upset last night. She cried, and we cried with her, because seeing her sadness hurt me to my soul.
By morning, we decided that on our last day there, we would pack up, try to eat something, and then go home with hopes that he was at least safe and not harmed somewhere. But we made a pact that when we found him, we would all beat his ass.
Once we packed up, we went downstairs to the café. Tania and I both got food, while Ari just ordered a cup of coffee. When we sat down at the small circular table, it was quiet because no one knew what to say until Tania spoke up first.
“Y’all tell me why I’ve been so tired the past couple of days. I feel like I was fucking drugged or something. I’ve been yawning nonstop.”
“Well, we have been up almost twenty-four hours.”
“Yeah, I know, but this feels different. It’s just weird.”
“I don’t know when you would’ve gotten drugged, or who would’ve drugged you without getting the rest of us.” Ari finally spoke up after being quiet for the past hour.
“Yeah, you are right. Maybe this is just an anxiety thing. I’ve read about stress yawning before.”
“Yeah, probably.” Ari shrugged her shoulders.
Once we finished the coffee and the crêpes, we walked out into the lobby with our bags and met up with Josiah’s family. They were sitting on a bench with their heads down, all pissed off that they came here for nothing.
“What time does your plane leave?” I asked Josiah’s brother Joseph.
“Man, I’m not leaving here without my brother. I don’t give a fuck. And you shouldn’t be either.” He pointed at Ari.
“What do you mean I shouldn’t be either? It looks to me like your brother left me here. He’s not hurt, he’s not in jail, so where the fuck is he?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. The fact that you’re even thinking about leaving is crazy. You know Josiah wouldn’t just get cold feet and leave you. That nigga loves you. He was supposed to be your husband.”
“Exactly! So where the fuck is he?”
“Ask yourself that, Arianna. You been here with him all weekend with no contact and didn’t give a fuck apparently.”
