The pub was empty when they walked in. He’d debated taking her to Sohobut, in the end, decided to take her to the one place he’d never dreamed of taking a girl:The Horseman.It wasn’t just where he was born; it was a token of his childhood, where his mother had worked night and day to keep them afloat. He would sit behind the bar, running his trucks up and down the nicotine-infested carpet while his mother worked behind the bar.
Even as a child, it was hard for him to understand how a woman could play two roles. When they were alone, she was a quiet, reserved, and articulate woman who ensured he’d read every night before bed and always washed his face. In the bar, she became animated and sultry. Behind closed doors, she would take strangers and reappear with her hair a mess and lipstick smudged around her lips. He didn’t understand what prostitution was until his teenage years, and even then, he struggled to believe his mother would do such a thing. But she wasn’t doing it for her own gain; she did it for him.
Every “tip” she received for selling her body, she put away, believing he would one day put it to good use.
“I’d do anything for you,” she’d tell him, kissing him with lips she’d shared with a man only an hour before. “One day, when you’re a parent, you’ll understand.”
Although his mother had passed, he often visitedThe Horsemanto feel her in spirit. He’d sit in the bar, pint in hand, and he could smell her, as though she’d never left.
After a short conversation with Elaine, a woman who was once his mother’s best friend, he led Daisy to a booth where they took a seat.
“I like it,” Daisy said, almost to herself as she panned the surroundings. “Reminds me of a pub my mother used to take me to when I was little.”
“Is she still around?” Logan asked, already knowing the answer.
Daisy sunk into her thoughts for a moment. “I wish she was,” she admitted. “I lost her a few years ago now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s life, isn’t it? It’s not half as long as we wish it was.”
He contemplated telling her how he, too, knew the feeling when her phone began ringing. She seemed hesitant to answer, picking it up and staring at the screen.
“I…I should probably take this,” she said, “Do you mind?”
“Of course not.”
He watched her answer, seeing that whoever it was shifted something in her. They shared a brief conversation in which she said she was “out with a friend” and she would “see them later.” This was followed by words on how they needed to stop trying to control her. It hit him when he remembered her mother’s obituary, and it couldn’t have been her father, meaning she’d met someone.
“I’m sorry,” she said, once she’d hung up. For a moment, it looked as if she was going to admit it to him, but then she retreated into her thoughts.
He let the silence settle between them before he asked. “Boyfriend troubles, I take it?”
She hesitated at first, then let out a small breath. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Between you and me, he’s not the most ideal one, but…yeah.”
He studied her, watching how her fingers fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket. “Are you happy?”
“Is that a loaded question?”
“No,” he said, “just a question between friends.”
She let her hands relax and looked up at him. “Are any of us truly happy?”
“You know, you can’t answer a question with a question. It isn’t fair.”
“I just did.” A small smile took hold of her lips.
He laughed and then, as if trying to drown the conversation, she began humming along to Bob Dylan playing in the background.
He wanted to dig further, and in hindsight, he should’ve. But instead, he found himself staring at her, questioning if he reached for her hand, would she pull away.
V
DAISY
In one of his emails, Logan said he viewed New Year’s resolutions as pointless. “If you want things to change, a day on a calendar isn’t going to make a difference,” he’d written, giving Daisy a rundown on how changes in behaviour aren’t instantaneous. It was ironic, then, that Daisy found herself in a pub on New Year’s Eve, swearing that the year ahead would be her best yet when he walked in.
It had only been a week since she’d last seen him, and whether it was the alcohol in his system or something else, he seemed lighter.
