Logan reached for her wrist, but she pulled away.
“Daisy—”
“No.” Her voice trembled despite her best efforts to keep it steady. “I’m not one of your behavioural case studies, Logan. Stop playing mind games with me!”
Then, without giving him a second glance, she left.
VIII
LOGAN
It was the perfect wedding—at least, that was what everyone kept saying. To him, though, everything about it felt ugly. He should’ve followed Daisy that day, and of all the moments for that to haunt him, why did it have to be now? Standing at the altar, surrounded by Kate’s family and friends.
He felt their eyes on him, waiting. Waiting for him to whisper in her ear how beautiful she looked. Waiting for his face to soften with love, for his eyes to brim with tears of joy. Yet, he couldn’t. He was a fraud, and the only one in the room who knew it was him.
“Are you okay?” Kate mouthed to him.
He nodded and glanced at the floor. It was too late to backtrack, and as much as he knew the wedding was a mistake, he wasn’t about to humiliate her. Maybe, by some miracle, they’d fall in love…eventually. Maybe, in time, Daisy would become another face in a long line of forgotten memories, and he’d settle into married life like everyone else seemed to.
The pastor came to the podium and said his piece. He tried to avoid eye contact with Kate as she said her vows, forcing a smile against the guilt weighing on his tongue. She told them all how she couldn’t wait to start a life with him and how she’d dreamt of meeting a man like him since she was a little girl. Then, to top it off, she started counting off all his counterfeit attributes: loyalty, honesty, and kindness. But despite trying to silence it, his mind betrayed him.
There she was, lingering like an uninvited guest in his thoughts—Daisy.
“Logan,” Kate said, breaking his daydream. He looked up to find her staring at him, her expression taunt and unreadable. His vows. How could he forget?
“Uh, sorry. I’m nervous,” he said, pulling out the rehearsed lines from his pocket. “Kate,” he began. “Do you remember when you walked into the flat and found me in the thick of a Nigel Benson book? I hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days, and you sat next to me, made me a cup of tea, and forced an over-buttered piece of toast down my throat. If you don’t, I do, because I asked Tad a million questions after you left.”
He paused as the crowd erupted in laughter. Then he swallowed hard, knowing his following lines were all a lie.
“I…” He paused again, his gaze dropping to the floor. He couldn’t swear before God or on all things good and holy that he loved her. So instead, he took a deep breath and folded the paper back into his pocket.
“Kate, I can’t promise you much, but I’ll try my best to be a good husband to you. Which, I must add, I know absolutely nothing about, so I’m setting the bar rather low here.”
It wasn’t much, but it was enough for another round of laughter to echo through the crowd and for the pastor to move on, pronouncing them man and wife.
After it was all said and done, they headed to the reception, where everything blurred into a haze of well-wishers and flashing cameras. Logan downed drink after drink, whisky searing his throat, dulling the voice in his head that kept taunting him.
He spent the night laughing in all the right places, smiling when expected, and dancing when called upon. But none of it felt real. Then, at some point, when the liquor started to take hold, the noise became unbearable. The music, the voices, the weight of expectation pressing down on him like a gun to his head. So, he slipped away, unnoticed, into the cool night air.
He didn’t know how long he’d been gone when Jessamine came looking for him.
“What are you doing out here?” she asked, sitting beside him on the bench.
“Thinking,” he replied, his gaze fixed on the dark horizon.
“About?”
“Life.”
She nudged him gently with her shoulder. “Come on, we both know that once you start doing that, it’s a road that never ends.”
He forced out a breath that might have been a laugh in another lifetime. “Yeah. Tell me about it.”
For a long moment, neither of them spoke, and the world around them carried on, indifferent to his turmoil.
“Can I ask you something?” he said finally, breaking the silence.
Jessamine turned her head towards him. “That depends.”
