Miles rinsed his mouth and set down his toothbrush.The honesty in her question deserved an equally honest answer.“Lately?The murders.But that doesn't mean—”
“I know what itdoesn't mean.”Elena turned to face him directly.“You love me.I know that.I have no doubt of that.But I also know that this case is consuming you in ways that our relationship isn't.”
They moved into the bedroom, and Miles sat on the edge of the bed while Elena pulled back the covers.The conversation felt more important than their usual discussions about work stress or wedding planning.This was about the fundamental direction of their life together.
“Elena, I do love you.More than anything.And I can't wait to marry you.”He watched her settle against the pillows, her dark hair spread across the white pillowcase.“But these cases are coming at the worst possible time.”
“What do you mean?”
“I spent three years tracking periodic table murders that everyone thought were unconnected accidents or suicides.Then Diana Hartwell was further proof that I was right, but she killed herself before we could learn about the larger organization.Now this fluorine killer proves the pattern is continuing, and I might be the only person who understands the connections.Those three years I’ve spent bogged down in it all… three years that you tolerated, at that, might finally pay off.”
Elena was quiet for a moment.“Oh, it wasn’ttolerating.Miles, I’m always happy to support you.I think I just…well, I have to somehow make myself accept that with this, you feel responsible for stopping them.Like you have to be the one to do it.”
“I’d feel responsible if I turned a blind eye to the opportunity to stop them.”Miles pulled off his shirt and changed into pajama pants.“I know it might sound as if I’m trying to make myself sound like more than I am, but I fear that if I don’t give this my all, dead bodies are going to keep piling up and I’ll always regret not sticking with it.”He took her hand and locked eyes with her.“Can you understand that?”
She nodded slowly.“Yes, of course I can.As selfish as it sounds… I just don’t like coming in second place.”
He shook his head and said, “You’re never going to be second place.”
She leaned in and kissed him softly.“Thank you.But if this is truly consuming you so much, do you think we need to postpone the wedding?”
“No,” he said.“We still have five months.I don’t see any need to change anything.Doyouwant to postpone it?”
“No.I want to marry you in five months exactly as we planned.But I also want to marry someone who's present for the process.Someone whose mind isn't constantly somewhere else.”
“Then what do you suggest?”
Elena brought his hand to her lips and kissed it.“I suggest we figure out how to make this work.I'm not willing to lose you to these cases, but I also couldn’t ask you step away from them.”
Miles squeezed her hand.“What would making it work look like?”
“Better communication, for starters.No more jumping into field investigations without talking to me first.I know you can't always predict when cases will develop, but I need to know what's happening in your life.”
“That's fair.”
“And wedding decisions take priority when you're home.When we're together, we focus onus.”
Miles nodded, though he knew that promise would be difficult to keep.The urgency of active investigations had a way of consuming every available moment.But Elena deserved his attention when they were together, especially during the months leading up to their wedding.
“What about the cases themselves?”he asked.“This fluorine killer isn't going to stop just because we're planning a wedding.”
“I know.And I'm not asking you to walk away from something this important.”Elena turned onto her side to face him more directly.“But I need you to find a better balance.I need you to come home to me, not just physically but mentally too.”
“I can do that.”
“Can you really?”
Miles looked into her dark eyes and saw the love and concern that had sustained their relationship through three years of challenges.She wasn't asking him to choose between his work and their marriage.She was asking him to find a way to honor both commitments.
“Yes,” he said with more conviction.“I can keep you in the loop about active cases when you ask or when things begin to escalate.And when I'm home, I'll focus on us.On our life together.”
Elena smiled for the first time since he'd arrived home.“And if you catch this killer before the wedding, you promise not to immediately start hunting for the next one?”
He couldn’t help but smile.“I promise… though I don’t have much control over when these people strike.”
“Thank you.”Elena moved closer to him, her body warm against his side.“I love you, Miles.And I'm proud of the work you do.But I also need to know that I matter as much as the cases.”
“You matter more than the cases.”Miles wrapped his arms around her, feeling the tension of the day begin to dissolve.“You matter more than anything.”
