She expected him to smile and offer her his arm as he always had before. But to her surprise, he didn’t do either. Instead, he studied her. Unlike the way he’d studied her for his painting, however, his brown eyes held something back this time. Or rather, something more.
Fear,she realized with a sinking heart. Phillip’s eyes held fear because he was terrified.
Well, so was she. After years of planning to escape this kingdom and see the world, living a life free of anxiety and responsibility with only Nanny at her side, the last thing Norah was prepared for was to try to romantically connect with a man she hardly knew and might never truly know. But Nanny was gone. And watching Phillip trying to swim in a sea meant to drown him was more than she could bear. It was something she couldn’t simply watch and ignore.
So she would try.
“I had a few ideas,” she said with a self-conscious shrug. “Games we could play. Books we could read in the library. Taking walks.” She waved her hand at the garden. “I don’t know if anything will work, but they’re better than nothing.” She sucked in a deep breath. “But only if you truly want to try as well.”
Phillip watched her carefully still, not giving any indication of whether or not he wanted to play along. Which was strange when she thought about it. He had seemed so polite before, so willing to please.
But maybe… Maybe this was the real Phillip that she was finally beginning to see. Perhaps the prince she had met first was just a mask, much like the band she wore that changed her hair. A kind, silent, removed gentleman had little to lose. The prince who stood ready to lose everything, however, had good reason to be afraid.
“Like I said,” she mumbled, looking back down at her hands, “I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I won’t pretend to, but–”
She paused when large, calloused fingers gently lifted her chin, and she dared to let her gaze meet his. This time, much to her relief, he was smiling. Not the pleasant, polite smile she’d seen him flash so often. This smile was small and unsure. And yet, for the first time, it seemed quite real.
“All right,” she whispered. “Let’s try.”
Norah did try. She really did. They played all the games she had requested that the servants bring down to the smaller library. Several times, he looked as though he wanted to laugh, especially when she revealed how truly awful she was at tactical games. This, of course, meant Norah had to rub it in when she finally won. But there was still something deeper lacking. For Norah felt as though a glass window stood between them–and she didn’t know how to reach past it.
The next week was much of the same. They read together (or rather, she read, and he listened), took daily walks, and he even tried to teach her to paint. But much to Norah’s frustration, they couldn’t seem to get any deeper than they had that second day. And though Phillip continued to be polite and willing to try anything she suggested, she could feel his confidence slipping even faster than hers.
“What am I doing here, Nanny?” she mused out loud eight days after they’d arrived. The summer night waswarm, and Norah had chosen to open the window nearest the bed in an effort to move the room’s stuffy air around. Unfortunately, that worked just about as well as her attempts that morning at teaching Phillip to play a game with cards and rocks that commoner children played.
Meaning it didn’t.
“I’m not sure why you and my parents thought this could work,” she continued aloud. It was silly, but for some reason, scolding Nanny out loud for her folly made Norah feel better. “I don’t know how to fall in love with a man I don’t know.”
When she was small, Norah had thought of marriage as a lovely party followed by the healing of the young royal’s spouse and a great big cake. But now that she was older, she knew far more of what it meant to truly be married, and she shuddered at the thought of being so close to a man she couldn’t know–let alone having children with him and trying to run a kingdom.
But that was exactly what would happen if she followed her parents’ plans for her without falling in love. Whether she loved him or not–whether she healed him or not–once they were married, there would be no going back. No adventures with Nanny. No distant cousins in a faraway land, welcoming her home. If she couldn’t fall in love, she would be denied both her dreams and her happily-ever-after.
What would it be like to sleep beside a stranger every night?
Norah shivered.
Norah was tired the next morning from her midnight mulling, and she felt out of sorts, even upon seeing Phillip’s friendly smile. He was dressed in a light blue shirt with brown trousers. And though he often wore an assortment of weapons, today only his sword was strapped to his side. If Norah had been in a goodmood, she would have spent more time noticing just how handsome he was.
Norah was not in a good mood, however, and when he offered her his arm, as he always did, she declined.
“I think I should like to stretch a little,” she said, traipsing into the garden at a faster pace than usual. She didn’t turn to see what he thought of this, but after walking several minutes in silence, she began to feel ashamed. It wasn’thisfault that he couldn’t speak. And despite the cheerful sounds of birds in the trees and the water’s babble in the garden’s constructed brook, the silence soon became deafening. So, to fill it, Norah began to sing.
It wasn’t a noble song, the kind royal children were taught, nor was it impressive in all the usual ways one might sing for a stranger. It was just a little tune the commoner children had taught her, one they would often use in games. But as soon as she had sung two lines, the sound of Phillip’s heavy footsteps stopped behind her, and she turned in time to see his eyes as wide as walnuts.
Norah stopped singing. “What’s–”
He turned and bolted out of the garden before she could finish. And for several long moments, Norah wondered if she had offended him with her petulant attitude. She was quite repentant by now and nearly ready to chase him down to say so when he returned, out of breath.
But this time, he was holding a violin.
His eyes suddenly bright, he shook the end of his bow at her several times, becoming nearly impatient when she just shook her head, more than a little confused. Finally, he rolled his eyes and touched her lips with his fingers, then her throat, then her lips again.
“Oh. Oh, you want me to sing!” Norah nearly laughed with relief. That she could do.
And sure enough, after just a few notes, he put the bow to the strings and began to play, adding a harmony toher song’s simple melody and making it far more beautiful than she had ever heard it before.
After they finished that song, Norah, encouraged, began to sing another song. And another. And another. And he played along with every single one. And as soon as she had run out of songs, he took her by the hand and dragged her back to the library, where he began to pull out pages upon pages of music from a box.
