“Oh, we’re happy to have you.” Kim shifted gears, and the car, which was probably older than mine, started to move. As she did, she sent a conspiratorial glance at the backseat, and the women all grinned back. “I don’t know if you remember, but my husband works with Allen at their shop. And that’s Maria on the left side, Liz in the middle, and Tori on the right.”
“Do your husbands all work in the shop as well?” I asked.
Maria nodded. She had long, dark, wavy hair and big brown eyes. “Yes, but our husbands are currently on the dayshift. They switch around every so often.”
“Except mine. He’s on swing,” said Tori, a thin, petite woman with blond hair cut in a bob. She looked like she could have stepped out of a department store magazine. Everything about her looked more put together than I had felt in my entire life.
Liz made a face. “Swing is the worst. When Tom had swing, nobody ever got any sleep in our house.” The other women all nodded in agreement.
“So,” I said, squeezing my purse handles. “What are we doing today?”
Maria answered. “Well, considering how all of us but Tori have kids, and how little we generally get out of the house without them, we’re going to be thorough in our search for dresses, shoes, and accessories.” She winked at me. “And possibly frozen yogurt.”
The drive was a lively one. The women, who I gathered hadn’t seen each other in a while, seemed to have plenty of news to catch up on with each other. I listened in eagerly as I tried to make sense of what life in the military really did entail because I couldn’t help wondering how close it could really be to my own.
Maria’s husband, I learned, had been in the Air Force longer than any of the other spouses. According to Kim, he would be ready to retire in about six years, though she swore the Air Force might have to chase them out if they really want to get rid of him.
“Not my Todd.” Maria shook her head. “He’s determined that this stint will be his last one.” She shrugged. “Though he said that about the last one, as well.”
“What’s a stint?” I asked.
“It’s the number of years the service members sign the contract for to serve with the military,” said Liz. “In the Air Force, at least in our husbands’ fields, the usual contracts right now are being given out for 3 to 5 years.”
“But it can be longer or shorter,” Maria chimed in. “It just depends on what he agrees to and what the military needs.”
“Right,” Liz said, “and at the end of one stint, the service member and the military have to decide whether or not that person should keep serving or separate.”
“It used to be,” Tori said with a sniff, “that when you re-signed, a lot of guys would get a bonus.” For some reason, the rest of the car seemed to think this was uproariously funny.
The conversation continued along that vein until we parked in front of a large storefront that saidSpecial Occasion Gownson the front. The windows were full of manikins dressed in elegant gowns of every color and design, and I felt dual waves of dread and unspeakable joy at the thought of trying all the dresses on. Never in my life, had I dreamed I would get to go to a ball of my own. I just hoped Derrick’s wallet was up to it.
As we entered the shop, I was greeted with ten times as many dresses as there were even in the storefront.
“How do you even know where to start?” I felt the color draining from my face as I imagined showing up for the ball in something that embarrassed both Derrick and myself.
Kim laughed and took my arm and dragged me over to the section that was filled with all sorts of dresses, all in blue. “Don’t overthink it.”
“There are three rules to follow at any military ball.” Tori stuck her head out from behind a rack. “Number one, don’t look like a slut. Two, don’t look like a peacock. And three,” she held up three fingers, “wear something you can stand to keep on for at least three hours.”
Kim laughed and rolled her eyes. “Thank you, Tori, for putting that so delicately.” Then she turned to me. “What Tori means to say is that you never want to be the one wearing the scantily clad dress that makes all the men and women turn their heads.”
“And then go home and talk to each other about it,” Maria added.
“It’s also best,” Kim continued, “not to have a dress that’s so over-the-top that people need sunglasses when they walk up to greet you.”
I laughed. “Is that really even a thing?”
All three women nodded, and sure enough, Tori held up a dress that was covered from head to toe in sequins and rhinestones.
“And finally,” Kim handed me a blue dress with delicate white lace edging the bodice and shoulders, “even though we will be sitting when we eat, you’ll have to do a lot of standing before and after the meal, not to mention the dancing that comes after. So you want to make sure whatever you pick isn’t so uncomfortable that you go insane while you wait for the whole thing to be over.”
I cast a doubtful look at the pile of dresses Kim had already handed me. Three of the six were navy blue of varying shades, one was a soft pink, and the other two were different shades of green. And they all looked very, very expensive.
“So what else should I know beforehand?” I asked, taking yet another blue dress from Kim.
And so began my Air Force protocol and etiquette education. Teaching so many Air Force kids had at least brought me an awareness of the kind of order and organization I ought to expect. But none of the things my students had told me even came near to preparing me for the number of rules I should expect at the ball. Soup, for example, was to be ladled in the direction opposite me at the table, not in. Bread should be broken off one piece at a time, each piece getting its own little bit of butter rather than buttering the entire thing at once and taking a bite out of the bread itself. When the airmen saluted, I was to stand with my hands to my sides, unless, of course, the national anthem was being sung. In that case, I should put my hand over my heart. Thankfully, I didn’t need to know the ranks or titles for the gentlemen and ladies that Derrick was sure to introduce me to. Sir and ma’am would do just fine.
“At least gloves went out of style about 15 years ago,” Liz said, making a face.
