“You look as though you are about to burst out of your skin,” Thomas murmured, leaning so close that his breath tickled her ear. “Just be at ease. Try to look like you are enjoying yourself, as if you have not even noticed anyone else.”
The feel of him sent her heart into a flurry. She tried to smile, but it felt like her face had forgotten how. Vivian’s mind worked furiously, trying to think of what she had seen other people do.
Should I laugh, or will I look half mad?The skin on the back of her neck prickled, and she forced herself not to look for thesource of her discomfort. She tried to relax her shoulders, but it felt impossible.
“I cannot do this.” The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them, shame reddening her cheeks as she looked into his blue eyes.
“Yes, you can.” Thomas’s voice was soft, but firm. “Relax your shoulders; yes, like that. Lean against me, just a little, and then draw back. As though you want to be close but are trying not to be. Yes, like that.”
Vivian did as Thomas instructed, adjusting her body slightly and trying to remember to breathe. “You make this all seem so easy.”
“It is easy with enough practice. Besides, Grandmama had us all trained from a young age.” He gave her a wry smile. “She said she would not have us embarrass her with a lack of social graces.”
“Goodness only knows what she must think of me then.” Vivian tried not to think too hard about the kind of impression she must have made on the woman.
I doubt I will become as close to her as Charlotte and Andrea.
“I would not worry about it; after all, this is not a permanent arrangement.” He waved the thought away with his hand. “Besides, the fact that she has invited us to her birthday party means that she is at least interested in getting to know you.”
“What?” Vivan yelped. “What party? When? Will there be enough time to order a gift? What does one even get a dowager duchess?”
“It is next week. Her estate is not far from our country home, so she will no doubt push for us to stay with her, but there is no reason for it. It will be easy enough to join the festivities and return home in the evening.”
“I suppose that will mean we do not have to pretend to be in love for quite as long that way.”
“Exactly. It will all be over before you know it, and by the end of this period, you will be glad that you will not have to subject yourself to yet more family affairs.”
Vivian did not trust herself to speak, a lump forming in her throat.
I am running out of time.A cool breeze tugged at Vivian’s coat, and she shivered and leaned closer to Thomas without thinking. She felt him stiffen ever so slightly and then relax.
“Have you given much thought to what you will do when we part?”
“Not really.” “I do not even know where I will go.”
“Where would you like to go?”
“Well, when I was younger, I always dreamed of living in a small cottage in the lake district. I liked the idea of being far from everyone, surrounded by water and rolling hills.” “I was desperate to go there; mother and father even have friends up that way, but they did not feel it was a good use of time for me to accompany them. After all, I was already promised to someone, so why should they cart me around the country on a whim?”
She thought she felt Thomas tense at her words, but when she looked up at his face, she could see no sign of anger, just a slight smile that was perhaps a little tighter than before.
You are just imagining things.
“Our estate is not far from it. It is barely more than half a day’s ride from the castle.” “Though if you do not know how to ride, we can always take the carriage.”
“I do, but it has been a while since I have ridden.” She swallowed, thinking of how her mother had discouraged her love of riding.
‘You will get mannish hips, and that will mean you will bear only girls for your future husband.’Vivian pushed the memory out of her head.
“I am sure we can arrange something. There is no reason for you not to see a bit of the country while we are there.”
“That would be lovely. Thank you.” Vivian looked around.
“It is my pleasure. Now, let us return to the matter at hand.” Thomas raised his eyebrows and moved his head infinitesimally, indicating a couple walking toward them. “They are theton’sbiggest gossips, and if they see us flirting, it will be all over thetonby teatime.”
“What should I do?”
“Look at me; yes, like that. Slowly, shyly.” He leaned close as though telling her a secret, their foreheads nearly touching before he moved away again, letting out a laugh.
