Maia pressedher face into the pillow, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. She wouldn't cry. Not here. Not where Ewan could hear her and see her weakness.
Ye're selfish.Just like Uncle Callen always said. Selfish and worthless and wrong.
Maia bitdown hard on her lip, tasting copper. The pain was grounding, pulling her back from the edge of the spiral her thoughts wanted to drag her down.
She washappy to be out of that tower. That was the truth she couldn't escape, couldn't deny, no matter how much guilt it brought with it.
She'd spenthours on that horse, chattering away about every bird and flower and cloud formation they passed, as if she were on some grand adventure instead of being kidnapped.
She'd beenhappy for those moments. Happy to have experienced what she imagined was too late for her to ever know again. Despite everything. Despite Mollie. Despite the fear and uncertainty of her situation.
Behind her,she heard Ewan shift in his chair again. Heard the quiet creak of wood, the soft sound of fabric rustling. He was stillawake, still watching over her, or watching her, she wasn't sure which.
And despite everything,despite the grief and guilt and shame, Maia couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit safer knowing he was there.
Which only madeher feel more terrible about everything else.
8
Maia huffed, the sound sharp and irritated in the quiet room. She couldn't sleep, couldn't stop her mind from spinning in endless circles of grief and guilt and inappropriate relief.
"I can hear ye thinkin'from here, lass." Ewan's voice was dry, almost amused. "Whatever ye're worryin' about, let it go."
Something inside Maia snapped.
She sat up abruptly,the blanket falling to her waist as she turned to face him. All the emotions she'd been trying to contain, from the grief, the guilt, the confusion, to the anger, all suddenly converged into a single burning point of fury.
"Let it go?"Her voice came out sharper than she'd intended. "Let it go?"
Ewan's eyebrowsrose slightly at her tone, but he said nothing. Just watched her with those dark, unreadable eyes, waiting.
"How can ye just sit thereand tell me to let it go?" Maia's hands fisted in the blanket, her entire body trembling. "Ye killed innocent people! Ye set fire to the servants' quarters, people who had nothin' to do with whatever me uncle did to ye, and ye expect me to just forget about it? To just let it go?"
"Lass."
"Nay!"The word burst out of her like water breaking through a dam. "Ye daenae get to 'lass' me right now! Those were people. Real people with families and lives and—" Her voice cracked. "And Mollie was supposed to get married next spring, did ye ken that? She told me about it just last week. His name was Duncan, and he had a farm near the village, and she was so happy when she talked about him."
Ewan remained perfectly stillin his chair, his expression carefully neutral. But something flickered in his eyes, something that might have been guilt or regret or simply annoyance at being challenged.
Maia barreled on,unable to stop now that she'd started. "She had a whole life ahead of her. A weddin' to plan, a home to build, maybe children someday. And ye took all of that away from her. Ye burned her alive because of somethin' me uncle did. How is that right? How is that justice?"
"It's nae."Ewan's voice was quiet, but it cut through her tirade like a knife. "Are ye finished?"
"Nay, I'm nae finished!"Maia's chest heaved with emotion she couldn't contain. "Ye had nay right to punish them for whatever me uncle did. They were innocent. They dinnae choose to serve him, most of them have been at that castle their whole lives, they dinnae have anywhere else to go. And ye just, ye just burnt them alive."
She couldn't finish.The words tangled in her throat, caught behind tears she refused to let fall.
"They dinnae deserve it,"Ewan said, his voice still maddeningly calm. "Ye're right about that."
Maia blinked,momentarily thrown by his agreement. "Then why did ye do it?"
"Because war doesnaecare about who deserves what, lass." He leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze never leaving her face. "Yer uncle attacked me lands. Killed three of me men, good men, with families of their own. One of them was Donald. He had a wife and four wee bairns. Connor was supposed to wed at Beltane. And young Ross was only seventeen, barely more than a lad. Me man-at-arms had just trained him months ago."
His voice remained even,controlled, but there was steel beneath it now. "Yer uncle's men burned two cottages. One belonged to a widow with three children who lost everythin' they owned.They're livin' in the castle now because they have nowhere else to go. The other cottage belonged to an elderly couple. The wife died from the smoke before anyone could reach her."
Maia's anger faltered slightly,uncertainty creeping in.
"Yer uncle stole nearlyfifty head of cattle," Ewan continued relentlessly. "Cattle that were meant to feed me clan through the winter. He did it while I was away dealin' with a border dispute, thinkin' I wouldnae retaliate. Thinkin' he could take what he wanted and suffer nae consequences."
