I opened the boxes and began sorting out the contents. I had a place for the books, wanting to ensure they were kept together. I put the records and legal-type documents in their own box. Then all the journals were piled on the desk. There were a few items I had no idea what they were, putting them together separately to figure out at a later time.
I went ahead and started with the book collection that mymother had. Some of it didn’t even look like they were books from the present time. They had old, dark leather casings, and the pages were yellow and weathered. Some of them were extremely large and heavy. One of them was the size of a pillow. We had that one on the desk. These books reminded me of the Spellbook inHocus Pocus. Looked to be at least 100 to 200 years old.
Some of the books and journals I found and combed through weren’t even in English. I had to have Asmodeus help me with those. For the most part, he couldn’t read the writing, but could tell me what language they were or the species that had written them.
Many of the books came with hand-drawn pictures and diagrams inside. There were lists of items and directions that followed, almost like a cookbook. The most fascinating book right now was an encyclopedia of supernatural creatures on Earth, but also in the other realms, such as purgatory and heaven. Although the names weren’t always aligned. I went searching for any information there was on demons.
Was this going behind his back? Couldn’t I ask him for this information myself? I know he would answer me truthfully and give me any information I wanted. But I could do both, right? I mean, maybe there wasn’t much in these books anyway. As I flick through, I finally find what I’m looking for. From what I can tell, it talks about the hierarchy of demons, the types of demons, and how they live. Doesn’t really talk much about their powers or how they mate. It seems like there isn’t much to gain.
After going through the boxes, I suddenly felt tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I move into the bedroom and lie down for a moment, falling asleep instantly.
31
Chapter 31 - Blair
21 weeks pregnant
Iwas in the second trimester of my pregnancy, and things were progressing smoothly. We went to have a scan done of the baby, making sure the baby was healthy and their vitals were stable. Thea had assured me that the baby was healthy and no harm came to it during the attack, but I wanted to double-check. I also secretly wanted one of the sonogram photos to frame and put on the fridge.
We were able to find out the gender if we wanted at this time, since I was past the sixteen-week mark already, but we decided we wanted it to be a surprise. It didn’t matter if our child was a boy or a girl; we were ecstatic that they were healthy and had made it through unscathed from the hellhound.
My body was starting to go through a lot of changes, and I began to show visible signs that I was pregnant. My stomach finally started to show and was growing exponentially. Ididn’t fit into my jeans anymore. I finally caved about buying some maternity clothes, but at this point, I was comfortable wearing his clothes in the house or lounging in my birthday suit with some underwear and maybe a bra. I had to get some clothes that looked nice and fit for when we went out.
My morning sickness finally went away, but in its place was heartburn. I was eating the craziest things and combinations. Sometimes, Asmodeus had to step in before I started eating our soap or cleaning supplies, all because they smelled good. I was constantly hungry and eating practically every hour. Asmodeus had been making me breakfast and dinner every day. Lunch was the only meal I made for myself.
We went grocery shopping every week, buying all kinds of snacks and healthy foods for me to eat. A couple of my favorite foods lately have been peanut butter and pickles. Az couldn’t understand the combination, but it was delicious. I forced him to try one and he spit it right back out, barely even chewing it. I snickered when I saw how disgusted he was by it. But hey! It could have been worse, like mayo and chocolate.
One of the weird things I didn’t expect to happen with pregnancy was how it would impact my ADHD symptoms. Even though as I have progressed, my attentiveness has improved, my sensitivity to fabrics and clothes has skyrocketed.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I stopped taking my ADHD medication, although I was nearly out anyway. I hadn’t gotten a new doctor yet in Hartford and was really slacking in taking care of my ADHD symptoms. I’m surprised that Asmodeus hasn’t complained yet.
We were out in the Arizona room today, enjoying the spring weather, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was startingto bug me. “Why do you never complain about me? I feel like that’s such a normal thing to do with married couples.”
He looks up from the book he’s reading, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “We aren’t married, we are mates, for one. But two, because you don’t bother me at all? Yeah you may be inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive, anxious, and talk a bunch at times, but I understand that’s just you. I don’t want to change you. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know if I ever told you or not, but I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was a teenager and always had issues in school. I barely graduated high school because of my inattentiveness and impulse control. My whole life I was told that I needed to change, that I needed to just try harder, do better, and to shut up…” I kind of lost my train of thought and where I was going with this. Just remembering how people treated me, felt like I was reliving those moments, making it damn near impossible not to cry right now, especially with the crazy pregnancy hormones.
“Hmm– I think I remember you telling me om our first date actually. I knew you were neurodivergent, but it didn’t change anything for me. You’re still you. I still want you. You confirming my assumptions wouldn’t have changed anything for me.”
I start to sob now from his words. “How do I know it’s not just because I’m your mate, and that’s why you tolerate this messy version of me?” Now I’m just flying off the handlebars with what I’m saying, but the filter is NOT working. My brain is just dumping everything out there right now, ruining this peaceful day we were having.
He gets up and walks across the room over to where I’m sitting on one of the pieces of patio furniture. He bendsdown on one knee next to me, practically sitting on the floor. Placing his warm, large hand on my belly, he begins gentle soothing circles, calming me down. He stares at his hand on my belly as he begins to talk. “Do you want to know why I know it has nothing to do with you ‘being my mate’? He murmured softly.
“Yeah,” I croak, sounding snotty and pathetic. His eyes now find mine, but he never moves his hand. His eyes sparkle with many emotions, it takes my breath away.
“Even before I claimed you, you took my breath away. You were funny, sweet, and silly. I was able to be myself with you. You made me feel safe and seen. I’ve never really had that before. You accepted me for who I was. You weren’t scared by the giant, towering, angry looking man. Instead you saw me for who I was.” He stops for a moment, a small smile on his lips. “A lot of people take one look at me and run in the other direction. For some reason, because of my size, they think I’m going to hurt them. I can’t begin to explain how hurtful that is. But here comes Blair, blowing into my life. Instead of being scared, you were curious, kind, and I had the best time being around you. You made me feel alive. And that matters a lot more when you have lived 250 years and will live for eternity.”
I place my hand on top of his now, his thumb stroking my belly. Tears continue to run down my cheeks, but instead of being upset, I’m touched. “God damn tears,” my voice watery as I give him a wavering smile. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.
“I understand. I probably should have told you these things sooner, but I guess I got wrapped up in finding my mate, then claiming you, and then you became pregnant! I didn’t realizehow much you were struggling Blair, and I’m sorry for that. Even though I’m 250 years old, I guess I still need to work on my communication skills and open myself up more.” He gives me a wry smile and a small laugh escapes me.
“Guess we can work on that together.”
He nods his head in agreement. “We all have faults, Blair. We all have things in life we need to work on. We all have our insecurities. I don’t complain about you because I know you’re trying your best, and in the one life we have, that’s all that matters. It’s okay that you’re not perfect. I’m not perfect either. I’m not going to hold that against you, nor do I expect you to be perfect. I love you just the way you are, quirks and all.” He leans forward to plant a kiss on my lips.
“We are definitely going to have to talk about your new eating habits though. And of course the fact that you put your cold feet on me in bed. I cannot tolerate them any longer, mate.”
It takes me a moment for my brain to catch up with what he said. I burst out laughing. “I only eat what the baby wants. You can’t blame me for that one. But I can’t help that you’re warm and my toes need the heat,” I squeak out, trying to hold in my laughter.
