"That is true," I agreed. It would also explain why my call went straight to voicemail. If he was on the ship this morning, he wouldn't have his phone with him as he worked in a secured space. After I hung up with my aunt, I decided to let it go. Everyone had a doppelgänger in the world, and that’s probably all it was. If I’d been thinking, I could have snapped a pic and sent it to More. He’d get a kick out of some dude walking around our hometown looking just like him. Then again, he might also want to ask the guy to take a DNA test, because they could have been twin brothers.
After the usual morning hustle died down, I took a moment to sit back and stare at the wall as my brain attempted to puzzle out what in the hell could be going on with my wife and my best friend. Despite trying earlier to justify the fact that my cousin might have a doppelgänger out there, I knew what I saw. It had been him, and he didn’t want me to notice that he was in town for some reason. I was so lost in thought; it completely missed me that my assistant had stepped into my office and shut the door behind herself.
"I don't want to overstep, but it seems like something is on your mind. Is there anything I can do? You obviously have some heavy stuff taking up your focus, and I hate seeing you so distracted.”
“That obvious, huh?” Fiona returned a pointed look but didn’t say anything as she waited for me to decide if I wanted to confide in her.
Fiona's denim blue eyes sparkled with what appeared to be empathy. Then, I remembered there really wasn't anyone else I could talk to about the two most important people in my life suddenly behaving very out of character. Despite the way I’d tried to convince myself that Moreland must have a twin out there, I knew in my heart that wasn’t true. My cousin’s mom was of Haitian descent and his dad, my uncle by blood, was of Scottish and German heritage. It would be farfetched to think another man possessed the same facial structure, coloring, and overall bearing. Granted, the last was due, in part, to his military service. Still, I didn’t buy the fact that it wasn’t him at the bakery when I passed by.
"A few people in my life have been distant and mostly unavailable lately, and I've been trying to figure out what's going on."
"Is one of those people your wife?"
Part of me knew I shouldn't answer that question. Violet would not appreciate me talking about our private life with my assistant. There was also the danger of opening a door with Fiona that should never be opened. Sometimes, if you gave an inch, the other person would step forward and snatch a mile. I knew that. Still, when Fiona spoke again, I found myself frustrated enough with the situation to give a little detail in the hopes that I might gain some insight from a third party’s view.
"I only ask because she hasn't been around much the past couple months. I didn't know if you guys were having a spat or if she just got busy with other things."
I blew out a harsh breath. My assistant had also noticed my wife's absence from my life. It wasn't so much that she was gone completely, but that it was so often lately it had become notable, and not just to me.
"I'm not sure why," I admitted cautiously. "We haven't had any arguments. She seems distant lately but behaves normally when we're together.” I didn’t want to say the rest, but part of me needed to get it off my chest. It was my hope that someone else’s perspective would highlight the fact that I really had no good reason to doubt my wife. “She’s been mostly normal, anyway. Until I ask where she's been spending her time when she's not with me." I felt sick admitting that out loud to another person. The grunt of disgust or displeasure Fiona made didn't alleviate that feeling at all.
"What was that noise for?"
"Noise?" she asked coyly, almost as if she hadn't realized there had been a reaction for me to note.
"Yeah, you know what I'm talking about."
Fiona took a deep breath and looked away. "That was my first red flag that my last serious boyfriend was cheating on me."
Her reluctant admission made me pause, but then I blew that thought off. I scoffed at the idea that Violet would ever step out on me. There might have been something off with her of late, but no one could convince me that cheating would be the reason.
"I'm not saying that's what Violet is doing,” Fiona stated with a slight roll of her eyes as if she didn't believe her attempt to alleviate any discomfort her opinion might have caused me. "It triggered my reaction because that was the first thing I noticed when Jeremey started a relationship with someone else behind my back. Then, when I'd ask again, he would change the subject or deflect it back to me in kind of an accusatory tone. It was almost like he projected his guilty conscience onto me."
Something in my stomach twisted. Violet had sort of done that the last time I'd questioned her. My beautiful wife, who was always calm and collected, had snapped and asked if she should give me the same inquisition over where I'd been all day, and with whom.
"I'm sure that's not the case for Violet," I finally managed to get out after a minute of stunned silence.
"No, probably not. Why on Earth would she cheat on you, anyway? I bet you have an ironclad prenup in place that would protect your assets in cases like that. She'd be stupid to…" Fiona's voice trailed off when she saw the look of absolute horror that crossed my face.
"Sorry, it's something I worried about after what Jeremey did. I'd never marry without one now." Fiona started to fidget nervously before she finally turned and walked back to the door. "I'll be at my desk tidying up before I leave in thirty minutes. Let me know if you need anything."
My head bobbed in some semblance of a nod before she walked out my door and thankfully, shut it behind herself. Unfortunately, the quiet crept in and ate at me from all sides. There was no way Violet would cheat. We still had a very healthy sex life, especially since she had gone off her birth control shot nearly nine months ago. Her doctor said it could take a year or so before she fell pregnant. We weren't religious about timing and trying. Everything was still normal as ever. If the mood struck, we fucked without any other agenda. There was the one time I took off work early because I thought she might be in her fertile window, but honestly, I'd only thought about it after overhearing a couple women talking in the local sandwich shop the day before that. They’d been having a conversation about how ovulation happened for them two weeks after their period like clockwork. One of the women had mentioned it because she said it was when she either didn’t fool around with other people or she was extra careful so she wouldn’t get knocked up. I figured the information came in useful in my situation for the opposite reason.
If my wife were cheating, surely she wouldn't allow me to keep trying for a baby with her. Wasn't one of the signs of cheating when your partner was no longer interested in sex with you? Nothing added up. Where there was one potential red flag, there was another behavior that seemed to cancel it out. I tried desperately to get Fiona's words out of my head, but I couldn't. A seed of doubt had been planted that unfortunately fit with Violet's recent behavior. The red flags might have been canceled out by other actions for now, but the fact that they were there when they never had been before was just as concerning.
Violet was already home when I finally got off work and made my way to the house we’d shared for the past nine and a half years. She was in the process of making a pasta and chicken dish when I walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Vi, how was your day?"
"Eh, same old," she answered unenthusiastically with her back still to me. "Yours?"
"Meetings, money, and putting out fires with talent who think they're bigger stars than they are."
"So, same old shit for you, too, huh?” The question was asked in a teasing tone as Violet turned to offer me a kiss in greeting.
"Sounds about right." I dipped my finger into the pot of white sauce that simmered on the stove. "Damn, that's good."
"Glad you think so. This was the meal we worked on in class last week."
