Jane rose and left the room to seek her work basket. After her departure, Charlotte slid next to Elizabeth.
“Mr. Darcy was not the only gentleman to watch you last night,” she said quietly.
Elizabeth sighed and asked, “Did you notice Mr. Bingley’s strange behavior? I found his attention oddly unsettling.” His inscrutable looks had haunted her dreams last night.
“His admiration of Jane is obvious,” Charlotte added. “What is more confusing is his fixation onyou.Perhaps he cannot decide which sister he favors more.”
“I saw nothing of that in Mr. Bingley’s gaze.” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, it is likely that I have a face that reminds him of another. I know for certain that we have never met.”
“Whatever the cause, you have the attention of two eligible men. Do not throw away this chance at marriage, Eliza.”
She laughed. “Oh, how very rapidly you predict their motives! We have only just become acquainted. Surely, you would not have me throw myself at them in hopes of a proposal.”
“Whilst I would not have you behave with anything less than perfect conduct, I would encourage you to secure a match as quickly as possible. Remember, I too, was once a hopeful young lady.” Charlotte smiled sadly. “Papa is taking me to London in the spring. It is my last chance. My dowry is not as impressive as yours, you know.”
“You will know success, dear Charlotte.” Elizabeth clasped her friend’s hand. “You are sensible and kind.”
“If only a man could see it.” Charlotte frowned before hiding her despair behind a smile.
The Lucas ladies left after tea. Feeling at odds with herself, Elizabeth donned her bonnet and pelisse, intending to take a long walk to clear her thoughts.
Idohave a dowry,she thought to herself.But it ought not to be mine.Dismally, she recalled her come out nearly two years ago. Papa had called her into his study.
He gazed at her solemnly, his hands on a wooden chest in his lap. Elizabeth approached cautiously, sitting in the chair next to him as he directed.
“My dear Lizzy,” he said tenderly. “Do you recall when we came to Longbourn?”
“Yes. “It was a great change for all of us.”
Her papa had taken his duties as the new master of Longbourn seriously, increasing the estate’s annual income until it exceeded three thousand pounds. Mama, too, had adapted to life asmistress of an estate with ease. She stumbled here and there, but overall, she became a consummate hostess and a competent mistress.
“What do you recall from before that?” he asked gently.
She froze. “There is nothing before that.” Her hand went, unconsciously, to the scar on her head. It throbbed a little, and she winced.
“You were eight when we came to Hertfordshire, my dear.” Gently, he explained how he and Mrs. Bennet had found her. He patted a small chest he held in front of him. “You have had memories these last ten years, but none ever helped us discover who you are. Yes, Elizabeth, you know that you are not a Bennet by blood. But you are the child of my heart, and I love you dearly. Your mother does, too.”
He handed her the chest. “This contains your clothing and the possessions you carried when we found you. There have been no answers all these years. I now pass these treasures to you. Do with them what you will, but know you will always be my child—my dear intelligent Elizabeth. And as my daughter, you are entitled to a dowry. These many years, we have been careful. Investing with Mr. Gardiner, working to improve the yield of the estate… Jane’s ten thousand pounds are in the four percents and have been since her eighteenth birthday. Your ten thousand is there now, too. It will grow if you do not marry quickly, but with your wit and vibrancy, I believe it will not be long before some astute gentleman sees your worth.”
Elizabeth’s thoughts returned to the present. The dowry was the least of Mr. Bennet’s gifts. He told her of the day he and Mrs. Bennet found her. She did not know what had happened to her. Indeed, she tried to remember more fervently after that day in the study. The memories were elusive, slipping away from her mind even as she tried to grasp them. It was very frustrating.
“It does not matter,” she said aloud. “For all intents and purposes, I am Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Hertfordshire.”
Yet her dreams the night before had been more disturbed than they had in years. A man’s face haunted her rest—one with a genial smile and fair coloring not unlike Mr. Bingley’s. But the features were older, the hair redder, the expression more seasoned by time. Though she could not place him, the resemblance to Mr. Bingley had unsettled her more than she cared to admit.
Other faces had surfaced now and then over the years. She had even taken to drawing so that she could capture likenesses. Unfortunately, she never mastered sketching people and eventually gave up.
There was a lady. She had warm brown eyes and dark curls. Elizabeth often heard her voice singing lullabies in her dreams. There was a boy, too. Younger than her, with sandy blond hair and an infectious laugh. He always giggled when he was tossed in the air by another person. She never saw the man’s face, but his deep voice reverberated in her mind.I love you,he said.
But those were the pleasant recollections; there were other, darker snippets of memory. These caused her to wake in a cold sweat. When she was younger, her screams had awakened the entire house. Mama had held her as she cried, whispering soothing words in her ears. “It is only a dream, my darling,” she said over and over until Elizabeth drifted off to sleep.
Those dreams were never remembered for long. All that remained upon waking was the fear and anxiety that had taken root during the night.
She walked briskly up the slope that led to the top of Oakham Mount. It was merely a prominent hill, but still the highest point for some miles. Elizabeth enjoyed looking out over the fields. During the summer, wheat and other crops swayed gently in the breeze. Now, with the harvest over, the fields sat empty. Even the trees had lost their leaves. Still, there was beauty to be seen.
She crested the summit and turned her gaze toward Netherfield Park. Elizabeth could see it in the distance. The red and white stone glistened in the sunlight. In a distant field, she watched two riders push their mounts into a gallop.
Turning away, she walked a different path back to Longbourn. Feeling calmer, she entered the house and removed her outerwear.
