“If it brings you comfort, you may say whatever you like,” he said, affecting an air of indifference. “Elizabeth refused Mr. Collins. If she were mercenary, she would bear his name instead of her sister.”
“Jane marrying her father’s heir does not mean she is mercenary.” Bingley seemed determined to assign his beloved’s actions to any other motive.
He sighed. “Speak to her if you must, but do not upset her. She is in a delicate condition. Besides, my wife will have my neck if you do anything to harm her favorite sister.”
Bingley nodded. “Speak to Mrs. Darcy and inform me whether we shall depart Pemberley on the morrow.” He left the room and Darcy sank into his chair.
What a mess I have found myself in,he murmured. Slowly, he stood, resolved to find Elizabeth as soon as may be.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
July 4, 1812
Pemberley
Elizabeth
She paced her room, fury radiating off her.How dare he!Her thoughts whirled around the injustice of a husband who felt free to invite an entire party of unrelated guests to a house of mourning without informing his wife, while the mistress of the house was censured for asking her widowed and pregnant sister to live with them.
The occupants of the house had gone to their chambers until dinner. Jane had requested a tray be sent to her rooms later, and Elizabeth could not blame her for wishing to eschew the presence of the Bingleys and the Hursts. Elizabeth, too, did not wish them here. Now, she walked the floors of her chambers, waiting for her husband to appear.
He came through their shared sitting room, tapping on her door before opening it and coming through the doorway toward her. After having given rein to her more volatile emotions the last half an hour, she whirled on him angrily, all thoughts of moderating her words gone.
“How dare you!” She voiced her earlier thoughts aloud.
“Let me explain,” he said desperately, trying to take her hands.
“After all that has occurred, a party of guests appears—people I know and had no notion they were to invade the house I only arrived atyesterday!Did you not think I wished to know? I could have warned Jane. She is distraught!”
“I forgot I issued the invitation. In the rush of the last two weeks, it slipped my mind. I, too, would have written to warn Bingley. He was most discomposed to find your sister here. Against my advice, he intends to speak to her. I warned him—”
“Against your advice?”His wife repeated acidly. “Your advice led to her heartbreak to begin with!”
“What do you mean?” His confusion appeared genuine, and Elizabeth wished to hit him until he understood.
“Jane would have never married Mr. Collins had she not been put in a position where she could not refuse!” Elizabeth cried. “And you confess that even now you would try to persuade your friend away from her. It is not to be borne. Your officious behavior must cease. You do not know everything.”
“Your sister married the first eligible man to make her an offer,” Darcy snapped, his pleading expression melting into a haughty mask. “I observed her most closely at the Netherfield ball when your neighbors made it clear that a proposal was expected. She wore the same pleasant, placid smile the entire evening, whether she spoke to Bingley or other friends.”
“A lady is not meant to display her feelings until an offer is made. Would you have her latch onto his arm as Miss Bingley does to yours?”
He shook his head. “Even if I did not see that evening, her actions betray her intentions. Bingley had not been gone a week before she had become betrothed to Mr. Collins. They married less than a month after the ball. Are these not the actions of a mercenary woman?”
“They are the actions of a woman placed in a precarious position. She had to choose. Marry Mr. Collins to ensure that our family did not suffer upon our father’s death, or wait for Mr. Bingley, despite having received word from the man’s sister claiming he had left the area for good.We now know he would have never returned. Jane chose the first path, marrying for love of her family, knowing full well that she would never love Mr. Collins as she loved Mr. Bingley.”
He scoffed. “How convenient that she now has another chance to ensnare my friend. Tell me, Mrs. Darcy, have you feigned knowledge of the visit? Did you ask Mrs. Collins here knowing she would once again be thrown in the path of Mr. Bingley?”
“Do not impugn my honor, sir! The only thing that I have done that did not hold true to my natural character was marry a man with such selfish disdain for the feelings of others! You destroyed the happiness of a most beloved sister, and yet this is not the only matter for which you refuse to be held accountable. It seems you are set on ruining people’s lives—have you not done the same with Mr. Wickham? How I have debased myself! I allowed myself to be convinced that you and I could make a happy future together, despite your strong objections to my family—to the very people whose love and kindness shaped the woman you claim to be ardently in love with! What was I thinking, accepting the hand of a man who held such contempt for everything and everyone I hold dear?”
She stopped speaking, her chest heaving with anger and her breathing heavy. Her husband’s expression looked frozen, andthough he looked in her direction, it seemed as if he stared right through her.
“You have said quite enough, madam. I quite comprehend your feelings. I have only now to be ashamed of what my own have been.” He bowed crisply and left the room through the sitting room once more, leaving her alone.
Furious, she went to the bed and sat, grabbing her pillow and screaming into it. She had not precisely told him that she had married him for mercenary purposes, but it had been implied. Surely, he understood her words and now painted her with the same brush as Jane.I deserve the appellation of fortune hunter. Not Jane. How very ironic that he applied the phrase to her and not to the woman he deigned to marry.
As she calmed, her thoughts wandered to every interaction, every disagreement she and Darcy had had since their marriage. How much had she contributed to the discord with her stubborn refusals and prejudiced thoughts? Before, these arguments had concluded and she had been left feeling angry athim.Now, it was quite the opposite.
I cannot bear to have him think ill of me,she realized.What he thinks of me matters… did he not say that his good opinion once lost is lost forever? Oh, what have I done?
