“Yes. For now.” She moved to a fallen log and sat. He followed, sitting beside her and taking her hand.
“This changes nothing, you know,” she gently reiterated, tugging her hand away. “I am still in mourning.”
“In less than a month, you will reach half mourning. While I cannot begin courting you in earnest, we might be in each other’s company more. I can begin making amends for my deplorable behavior last autumn.”
Jane nodded, allowing a small bit of hope to creep into her chest. Perhaps things might work out after all.
“Will you meet my aunt?” he asked again. “I promise, she is one of the better Bingleys. Though not raised as a gentlewoman, she is kind and engaging. I believe you will find her to be a good friend.”
“I promise I shall not absent myself when you next call,” she replied.
He smiled. “That is all I can ask.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Will you tell me about your son?”
Jane froze. Immediately, she stood. “I need to return,” she said hastily. “I shall… later…” She turned and hurried away, leaving Mr. Bingley on the log.
“Jane!” he called, but she ignored him, hurrying down the path back toward Longbourn.
Later, when she had time to reflect, she wondered what had caused her to flee. Was it that she had named her son for him,despite believing that they had no future together? Or was it something more?
Her marriage had been short and trying, but she had been comfortable enough. In time, she might have grown more than fond of Mr. Collins, especially once Lady Catherine no longer held any sway over him. Miss de Bourgh had only just taken control of her inheritance. In time, Mr. Collins might have given his loyalty to his wife since his former patroness had been dethroned.
But love him? Would she have ever loved her husband? She doubted it. Her heart, once engaged, could not be easily redirected to another. Perhaps had she heard of Mr. Bingley’s marriage, she might have let him go sooner. But, even now, after a year, she still felt the stirrings of regard when she thought about him.
What will he say when he learns that Henry is named for him?she wondered. Doubtlessly, he would be thrilled, for Jane knew it confirmed her feelings for him. Perhaps that is what so frightened her.
When she returned to Longbourn, she felt a little better, though she had not been completely restored to good spirits. Divesting herself of her outerwear, she went in search of Elizabeth, wishing for her sister’s good sense to guide her.
She entered the parlor and froze when she noted they had guests. “Charlotte!” she cried, delighted. “And Sir Andrew! You are very welcome.”
“We wondered where you had gone off to,” Charlotte teased lightly, standing to embrace her friend. “How do you do?”
“Mrs. Collins, ‘tis a pleasure to see you again!” Sir Andrew bowed slightly, his cheeky grin spreading across his face. “My dear cousin Miss de Bourgh sends her felicitations. We visited Rosings Park soon after our marriage.”
“I am quite well. Please, resume your seats.” Everyone sat, and Jane reached for a cup of tea from the tray sitting beside her chair.Elizabeth must have ordered it whilst I was out,she mused.
“Charlotte tells me that Miss de Bourgh is thriving,” Elizabeth said lightly. “Lady Catherine has moved to the dower house.” She eyed Jane knowingly, a little smirk on her face.
“My cousin wishes to correspond with you, Mrs. Collins.” Sir Andrew extended a missive, and Jane took it.
“I should be pleased to exchange letters with Miss de Bourgh,” she replied. “I will read and reply to this directly.” She set the letter aside and changed the subject. “How long are you to be in Meryton?”
“My mother has begged that we stay until after Twelfth Night,” Charlotte answered. “Amelia—that is, Lady de Bourgh, was to come, but she has gone to Rosings Park instead.”
“Lady de Bourgh… is that notyourtitle now?” Elizabeth grinned, and Jane chuckled.
Rolling her eyes, Charlotte waved a hand dismissively. “Youmay continue to call me Charlotte. Mama is terribly pleased, you know.”
“We all are.” Jane poured herself some more tea.
“I know that you will not be able to participate in many of the holiday activities, but we will be sure to visit you as often as possible.” Charlotte gave them a pitying glance, and Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders.
“It does not matter. We shall have many Christmases to celebrate in the future. Besides, our entire family is here. That is all we really need.”
Jane nodded in agreement. Yes, everyone she cared about… her thoughts drifted three miles away to Netherfield Park, and she realized with a start that she looked forward to when he came to call next.
Charlotte and Sir Andrew left after tea, promising to come again very soon, and Jane took Miss de Bourgh’s letter to her chamber to read it.
Dear Mrs. Collins,
