‘Peace isn’t peace if it’s only given to some,’ Marquis says. ‘And I know you know it.’
His audacity stops me in my tracks and for a second Ialmostfeel proud … but I shake the feeling away.
‘Did Karim get you into this?’ I say quietly. ‘Or have you been a rebel just as long as our parents have?’
Marquis rolls his eyes. ‘Do you hear yourself? Stop trying to blame someone else and for once justlisten.’
But I don’t need to listen. I already know that what my cousin is saying is true. That what Chumana told me is true. How many times have I imagined, alone in my bed at night, what it might be like to know Atlas outside Bletchley? I want to laugh at myself now. Did I think I’d win the war and then be free to have a relationship with a Third Class boy? Everything about our society is designed to keep us separate. But, no matter the truth, it all comes back to one thing.
‘I refuse to live without Ursa,’ I say. ‘And if I don’t give up the code, that’s what will happen – if Wyvernmire doesn’t decide to have me executed first.’
‘You want Ursa back, but you don’t want to give her any sort of world to come back to,’ Marquis says. ‘Well, fine. Go home to your big house in Fitzrovia, where Ursa will get the switch whenever her school performance is anything but outstanding. Better that than be demoted, right?’ He glares at me. ‘But, after this is over, I’m going with Karim. I’m going to help the Third Class, the dragons, the—’
‘The rebels,’ I finish for him.
He nods.
‘You know both you and Karim can’t walk out of here together,’ I say softly. ‘Think logically. You can’t win against her – you can only help her.’
We stare at each other and I feel a sharp pain in my chest, one that takes my breath away.
‘Our parents are part of the Coalition,’ he says. ‘Do you really think this is what they’d want us to do? Help destroy the cause they were willing to give their lives for? If they were here now, what do you think they’d say?’
Get out of London, Mama told me. She knew all along how dangerous Wyvernmire is.
‘The rebels will never win, Marquis. Wyvernmire has an entire army at her command.’
‘And what if I told you that theycanwin? What if joining the Coalition ishowwe save our family?’
I smile sadly. ‘You always were a dreamer,’ I say. ‘But it’s time to be realistic, cousin.’
He seems to deflate, as if the last spark of hope in him has suddenly been extinguished by my words.
‘There won’t be an after for you.’ My voice quivers as Marquis stands up and walks towards the door. ‘Not for you and not for Karim. Not if you don’t help Wyvernmire win. She’ll crush the rebels eventually – it’s only a matter of time. And we need to make sure that we – and Ursa – survive.’
He gives me a look of deep disgust.
‘You know what your problem is, Viv? You’re too much of a coward to put your neck on the line. You’d rather continuein your destructive ways than change them. You’re just like her.’
My eyes fill with hot tears, but I wait as my cousin stares at me, trying to figure out what happened to us. It’s only when he’s gone, the door slamming behind him, that I let the tears fall. I drop into a chair and weep like a child. I want to call to him to come back, to beg him not to leave me.
Marquis is right. I am a coward. But the prospect of living without my parents, without Ursa, is something I can’t let myself imagine. Either I save our family by giving Wyvernmire the code, or I lose them forever. I stand up and wipe my eyes. Maybe I was born bad, or maybe badness takes root once it’s been planted and just keeps on growing. I’ve been making selfish decisions to get what I want since last summer. And now it’s just part of who I am. How do you change who you are?
And in the face of all those selfish decisions, what’s one more?
PARLIAMENT OF BEATRICE
HANSARD’S
PARLIAMENTARY DEBATES
---------
THIRTY-SECOND PARLIAMENT
OF
GREAT BRITANNIA
