I try not to stare at her. I put my attention back on the computer screen in front of me. I swallow before saying, “Nothing yet that’s helpful. I’m watching the river section, but we can’t be sure how far she went up or down the bank. Or if she found somewhere to hole up for the night.”
Phoenix wakes up another console besides the one I’m working at. “Well, we won’t stop until we find her. Vlad has more surveillance on this city than a totalitarian state. She’s got to show up somewhere eventually.”
I nod at her assessment. “Colorful comparison as always.”
She smirks slightly but doesn’t take her eyes away from the screen she’s now scanning.
“I missed you,” I say into the quiet room while keeping my eyes on my own screen. “And this. I’ve missed this.” I don’t elaborate on what “this” means. But I can tell she understands what I’m trying to say when, a long time later, I hear her sigh softly.
She gives me a quiet, “Me, too,” back.
The words settle between us like a peace offering. We work in companionable silence, searching through hours of footage. Just like we used to do years ago. Just like I’ve dreamed about doing again ever since I left.
Maybe it’s not everything I want. But for now, it’s enough.
TWENTY-ONE
LAYDEN
Phoenixand I scrub through the surveillance footage all night long but don’t find a single useful thing. So I set up some bots to keep searching for Ammit’s face on all the video feeds we have access to in the city. It’s something I probably should have done hours earlier, but it felt too good sitting beside Phoenix in the dark computer lab doing the search manually. It was easy to agree with her that we might see something the automated system could miss.
Still, by three in the morning, she’s all but falling asleep at her console. I watch her eyes drift closed for the third time in as many minutes.
“Come on, let’s get some sleep. I’ve already got the bots ready to take over for us.”
She huffs out a quiet laugh while scrubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Of course you do.” But at least she nods in agreement and stands up from her chair. “Have the alert sent to my phone, too, if they find anything?”
“Already done.” I show her my screen where I’ve added her number to the notification list.
She nods again and starts heading across the hall toward her bedroom. Her movements are slower than usual. She’s clearly exhausted.
“Should I head down to the guest wing?” I leave off uncomfortably while jutting a thumb down the hall toward the room where I used to sleep when I stayed here ten years ago.
She stops walking and looks over her shoulder at me. Then she glances back down the hall toward the rest of the compound. “Oh, right. Shit.” But then she just waves a hand dismissively. “There’re no cameras in this part of the compound. We shouldn’t have to put on a performance for Grandfather tonight.”
“Goodnight, then.”
“Goodnight.” Her voice is softer than it’s been all night.
She lingers in the doorway for just a moment. Our eyes meet. Then she disappears into her bedroom and closes the door quietly behind her.
Not that I can sleep much after everything that’s happened tonight. Still, I never needed much sleep anyway. I can go for days with none at all and be no worse for wear. But Phoenix is still human, or at least mostly human.
I head two doors down to the room that used to be mine all those years ago. It has been redecorated since I last saw it. I look around after I flip on the light switch. The room isn’t as bright as it used to be. It’s done in tasteful beiges now. While she didn’t go for the dreary blacks that cover the rest of the compound, it’s still as if all the color has been leeched out of her world over the past decade.
What happened during the last ten years to change her so much? Now that we’re in this odd place between who we once were and who I still hope and dream we can become, I have even less idea of what’s actually possible between us.
Maybe all that hoping is making me blind to who Phoenix actually is now. It’s not fair to her to keep projecting my memories onto the woman she’s become. I sigh as I lay in bed and watch another sleepless hour pass. I’m not sure how to make any of this right with her.
I stay in bed staring at the ceiling until morning comes. I only know what time it is by watching my phone. There haven’t been any alerts from the surveillance bots, but it’s probably a good idea to let my brothers in on the current situation. So I pull up Abaddon’s contact and call him.
It takes many rings before the call is finally picked up.
“Here,” Hannah’s face appears on the screen before she hands the device off to Abaddon. “You just push the green button when it rings like that.”
Abaddon looks gruff and irritated as he glares down at the screen. “I don’t see why he couldn’t walk himself over here if he wanted to talk to me.”
“He’s on his honeymoon!” Hannah calls from off-screen. “And you need to learn how to use the phone properly!”
