“Thank you, but maybe I didn’t feel mature.”
“Did you call just to make me feel guilty, Carol? I already have a splitting headache and do not need your—”
“I’m sorry. That’s not why I called. Mostly I wanted to clear things up with you after Maria told me her side of the story. And just for the record, she was very gracious toward you. In fact, she even blames herself for how you grew up.”
“Well, she should! Not that I believe her. She probably just said that.”
“I believe her. She really wishes she’d done things differently.” Carol refrained from saying how she wished she’d been tougher on her baby sister.
“Hmm, if that’s true, I guess it’s reassuring ...Not that it changes anything.”
“Well, that’s between you and her. I only called to say that I don’t like you trying to turn me against Maria. She’s my aunt and I love her. But I love you too, Mom.” She had to control herself from adding, “Even when you’re acting like a selfish egotistical narcissist.”
“Humph. Well, I suppose that’s worth something.”
Carol waited for the next barb.
“And for what it’s worth, I love you too, Carol. And I’m not disowning you as my daughter.” She laughed. “Don’t worry, I haven’t taken you out of my will ... yet.”
Carol forced a feeble laugh.
“Have you changed your mind about the Bahamas? I got to thinking last night that it’s not too late. We could just stay longer and—”
“No thanks. To be honest, the Bahamas don’t even interest me now.” She stood to gaze out her window. “You should see it here, Mom. It’s so beautiful. Snow everywhere, blue sky, fresh air. And Maria’s farmhouse is charming. So peaceful and restful. We’re going to an old-fashioned Christmas dance tonight. And we’ll have neighbors and friends here for Christmas Eve dinner. Italian food too. I wish you could come, Mom. I think you’d enjoy it.”
There was such a long silence on the other end, Carol wondered if her mom had hung up. But perhaps she was more worried that her mom was actually considering coming. Despite the invitation, Carol wasn’t sure having her cantankerous mother here would be too nice for anyone.
“Well, you paint a pretty picture, darling, but I’ll pass. At least for this year. Maybe someday. You never know.”
“Maybe you and I will take a vacation together someday,” Carol added with forced enthusiasm. She couldn’t actually imagine how complicated a trip like that could get. Most likely it would never happen anyway.
“Well, I hope you and Maria have a good Christmas together.” Mom’s tone sounded flat again. “And in case you’re interested, your stepfather has been a bit nicer to me lately. Apparently, he didn’t really want me to fly the coop after all.” She laughed, but it sounded hollow.
“Thanks. You have a good Christmas too.” Carol swallowed hard, surprised that she suddenly felt tearful. “You and Ed are in my prayers.”
Mom cleared her throat. “Well, I guess that’s a good thing. I suppose we heathens need it.” Again, a hollow laugh.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, Carol Louise.”
After they hung up, Carol really did cry. Not long and hard and painful. Just a good cleansing sort of cry. She knew she’d forgiven her mother, and there was a certain release and freedom that came with that. But it was also bittersweet—the realization that Mom was Mom and she always would be. Carol might as well beat her head against a wall as expect her mother to change.
Finally, she washed her face with cold water and, thinking they might have a long night ahead with the cotillion, took a nap.
When she woke up, the sky was already dusky, but according to her phone, it was barely four. The plan for tonight, according to Maria, was to have a light dinner, then get dressed before heading out to the Grange, where they would arrive early enough to make sure everything looked just right before the big night.
After cleaning up the dinner things and helping Maria toselect her own outfit for the evening—a dark green silk blouse and sleek black pants—Carol went upstairs to dress. It was a rather simple affair. Just the dress, a borrowed slip, and the boots with a pair of warm socks underneath. But when she saw her hair hanging limply over her shoulders, she decided to do something. After pinning it up in a loose bun with a few soft tendrils hanging down, she applied a bit of makeup. Not too much, just a little color for her lips and cheeks and a touch of eye shadow. She had packed minimal jewelry for the Bahamas, but eventually settled for her favorite silver hoops. Plain but pretty.
She went downstairs to find Maria partially dressed and fumbling to open a jewelry box. “Can I help you?” Carol offered.
“Yes. This latch is stubborn. Like me.” Maria chuckled. “I wanted something in there for tonight.”
“How about I help you finish dressing first?” Carol suggested.
“Yes. Managing buttons and zippers is a challenge.”
“There.” Carol finished the last blouse button, then picked up the jewelry box. “What are you looking for?”
