“Which leg?”
She pointed to his left leg, instructing him and hoping he could follow her directions. But it felt like a comedy of errors. It took several tries and a few loud yelps, but she finally got him up. Worried that they might both topple down again, she remained close, holding him steady as he held on to her tightly.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Uh-huh. Think so.”
“Want to try walking?” She attempted to adjust her stance, but he wouldn’t let go of his snug hold.
“Honey?”
“Yeah?” She looked up at him.
“Thank you.” He gazed lovingly into her eyes. “I can’t live without you.”
She smiled. “I know.”
“I love my Honey.” He pulled her even closer.
“I know you do, CT. I love you too.”
“I’m sorry ... I messed up.”
She wasn’t sure which mess he meant exactly, but it didn’t matter. “It’s okay. You can’t really help it.”
“I know ... I’m goofy.”
“Yeah, sometimes.” She felt her eyes filling with tears again. “I guess we’re both goofy sometimes.”
“I don’t want to be goofy.” He used his thumb to wipe one of her tears. “I’m sorry, Honey.”
“I know.”
“Will I be like this for ... ever ... always?” he asked in the most serious tone she’d heard him use in a long time. Almost like the old CT. “Will I be like this all the time?”
The lump in her throat grew painful now. It felt like her heart was breaking, and she wanted to just sob with abandon. “Like ... what?” she asked hoarsely. Did he mean falling down, getting hurt, wetting his pants, having bad manners at the Oroscos’ ... or something else?
“My brain ... doesn’t work right. Is it broken?”
“Yes, it does have a problem.”
“I want an answer, Honey.”
“Okay.” She braced herself.
“Will it get better?”
She hugged him tighter, then buried her head into his chest, praying for strength before looking up at him. “One way or another it will get better.” Of course, she was thinking of heaven and how everyone would be made whole again, but she didn’t think CT wanted to hear that just now. And she didn’t think she could bring herself to say those words anyway. To speak of heaven was to speak of death. It was not a subject CT cared to talk about.
“I will get better?” He sounded hopeful.
“Yes, someday you will. But it’s getting dark. We should get to the house.” And with her arm supporting him around his waist and his around her shoulders, she helped him limp back to the house. By the time she got him into his recliner, they were both exhausted. Physically and emotionally. She knew what had transpired between the two of them in the alfalfa field was a genuine connection and not something she got much of anymore. It was a truly precious moment. Yet in the same moment, it felt like a dull, rusty knife had sliced through her heart. But maybe that was the reality of genuine love—hard and good just went together.
20
Jewel
The atmosphere at the barbecue was definitely more somber after Jewel’s parents made their hasty departure. Her dad’s cruel accusation of Miguel poisoning the food had cast a definite shadow over the party. Ashamed by her dad’s lack of social graces, Jewel had tried to smooth things over, but the guests still seemed a little ill at ease. As she fought back her own anger toward Dad, she made apologies, explaining that it was simply part of his condition. Not that it made anyone feel better.
