“Of course.” Jewel ran a finger down the condensation on her glass. “And excuse me and my big mouth. I just got seriouslyfrustrated with Dad today. I should read up more on his condition so I can understand him better.”
Mom patted her hand. “I have some books that might help. Although they can confuse you too. Sometimes they contradict each other.”
“You were going to tell us something, Grandma,” Cooper reminded her.
She nodded slowly. “But I’ll warn you, what I want to say will probably sound kind of odd, maybe even woo-woo.” She smiled at Cooper. “Something happened a while back, shortly before your grandpa’s official diagnosis. For about a year, I was noticing little things. Forgetfulness, misplacing things, losing words, tantrums. Nothing too concerning, and I tried to blame it on getting older. I mean, we all get forgetful as we age.” She sighed. “Well, I could tell it was getting worse, and the doctors hinted but I was still dismissive and confident we could fix whatever was wrong with meds, nutrients, better hearing aids, whatever. Anyway, I was hanging sheets on the line on one of those beautiful spring days. It was so full of promise. And I got this distinct impression.” She paused, staring out the kitchen window as if to recall that specific day perfectly. “It was actually more than just an impression. It was as if I heard God talking to me. Not audibly exactly but plain and clear just the same. Like when you know something deep within. Maybe you can’t even put it into words. But this came to me in words I could hear inside of me. They were”—she paused again—“‘You’re going towantto askwhy... but don’t. There are no answers. Just trust me for what’s coming.’”
“Interesting.” Jewel nodded, realizing how many times she’d asked why this was happening to her dad.
Cooper looked doubtful. “You really believe it wasGodtalking to you?”
“I do believe it. Maybe more than anything I’ve ever believed before.”
“Did you understand what it meant?” Jewel studied her.
“Not at that time. I didn’t even relate it to your father that day. But here’s the truth, I have wanted to askwhy,why,why... overand over again. My why questions are always about your father and the frustrating things he does. I want to ask, Why did you do that? Why did you lose that? Why did you move that? I have so many whys for God too—they’re endless.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Jewel admitted. “I ask Dad why all the time. Not that he answers. Just this afternoon, I asked why he ran off like that, and his answer made no sense. He was going to town but headed the wrong way.”
“Well, I can’t speak for you girls, but I’m learning to hold back on my why questions. For one thing, it usually just frustrates him more. And it’ll frustrate you too. Even if he tries to tell you why he did something, you rarely get a right answer. Because there are none.”
Cooper nodded. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“Do you think those words were God forewarning you?” Jewel asked. “For what was ahead?”
“It seems that way. And I take it a step further too. It’s not just about not asking CT why. I don’t ask God why anymore either. I’ll admit I want to ask about my husband’s condition.Whydid he get this? But I believe I won’t get that answer. Not in this earthly life. And I’m okay with that.” She smiled. “Well, most of the time. I’m only human, after all. I certainly have my weak moments. More than I care to admit.” She took a slow sip of lemonade.
“Thanks for telling us that, Grandma.” Cooper set her empty glass in the sink. “It helps. Now if no one cares, I’m going to grab a shower. By the way, Mom, Anna asked me to spend the night after the barbecue. Is that okay?”
“Sure,” Jewel agreed. “Sounds fun.”
“I guess.” Cooper shrugged like it was no big deal, or maybe she didn’t want her mother to know she might actually have a good time with her new friend. “Gets me off the funny farm for a while.” She covered her mouth with a guilty look, like what she said was politically incorrect, but her mom and grandma just laughed, really laughed.
“It does feel like the funny farm some days,” Mom admitted. “We all need a break from time to time.” She turned to Cooper.“I’ll tend the bees while you’re gone.” Cooper thanked her, then scurried off.
“Okay then. You admit we need a break.” Jewel pointed at her mom. “Promise me if you don’t go to the Oroscos’ tonight, you will get off the funny farm tomorrow. By yourself and with no worries over Dad. Because I’ll be here with him.Okay?”
Mom looked uncertain.
“Come on, Mom.” Jewel stuck out her hand. “Promise you will.”
“All right.” Her mom shook her hand. “Sounds like a smart idea.”
Jewel squeezed Mom’s hand, wishing there was more she could do, hoping just being here might be enough for now. Although if they had any more days like today, she might want a complete escape from the “funny farm” herself.
18
Honey
Honey proceeded to get ready for the neighbors’ barbecue as if she was walking on eggshells. And CT was visibly on edge, like their faithful old dog Piper always was when a suitcase emerged from the attic. He actually reminded Honey of Piper as he trailed her around the house. Now he sat on the end of their bed, watching her with an expression somewhere between annoyance and confusion.
“Where are you going?” he asked for what felt like the hundredth time.
“To a barbecue.” She carefully omitted the location.
“When?”
“At six.” She held up six fingers, just like she’d done five minutes ago.
