“No.” She shakes her head. “Honey is my grandma. You are my grandpa.”
“And I am your daughter.Jewel.” The other woman holds a plate of food right under my nose. Stinky food. “Please eat something, Dad.”
I lift my hand to block the plate. “Not hungry.”
“You need nourishment, Dad.”
“Dad?” I look for the one with my name, but she is gone now so I look back at this one. “Who are you?”
“I’m Jewel.”
“That’s your name? Jewel? Like a ring?”
“Yes. You named me after your mother.”
“Mother?” What is she saying? “You mean Honey?”
“No, I meantyourmother. Honey ismymother.” She keeps holding the plate right in front of me. Does she think I want to eat that? It smells like garbage, and I know it will make my stomach hurt. Bad food does that.
“Take that away. To the garbage!” I raise my voice to make sure she can hear.
“Daaad.” She steps back.
“Am Iyourdad?” I ask.
“Yes. I’m your daughter, Jewel. Remember?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. Sometimes I can’t remember things.” I rub my head ... maybe I can make my brain work better. My brain doesn’t work right sometimes. I don’t know why that is. It used to work all the time. It used to be the way I wanted it to work. Now it just does whatever...
“Grandma says give him a peanut butter and honey sandwich,” the green-haired girl tells the woman. They think I can’t hear, but I can. “With a glass of milk.”
“Yes.” I bob my head up and down. “Peanut butter and honey. That’s it.”
“Okay.” The girl takes the plate away, and I can breathe again.
“Jewel?” I try out the word. “Is that really your name?”
She smiles. “Yes. That’s right. Jewel.”
“Okay.” I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. “I’m tired.” I want to sleep so they will go away and stop bothering me.
“You’re probably worn out.” Her voice sounds nicer now. “You had a busy day.”
“Yes. I was in the hospital.” I don’t remember why I was there, but I’m sure it was something bad. Did I fall down? I reach up to touch my head. Is that why I can’t remember things? Because I hit my head? Yes, that’s what happened. Or else I am having a dream. When I wake up, I will be better and things will make sense again. I think they used to make sense. But I can’t really remember that now.
Honey
Honey knew she needed to rest yet felt it was impossible. She could hear Jewel and Cooper in the living room, trying to coax CT to eat something. He’d already rejected the roast and, despite Jewel’s best try, according to CT, the peanut butter sandwich she’d fixed for him was “not done right.” Honey had forgotten to mention that he liked his bread toasted, so now he was complaining that it was too soggy, telling them he’d choke on it and die. And chances were, he might choke too. Another element of FTD was somatic illnesses, and if CT thought something would make him sick, it surely would. She needed to explain this to Jewel.
After the events of the day, CT was really scrambled. He still didn’t recognize his daughter and granddaughter. Never mind thefact that Honey had spent this morning prepping him for their arrival. It was all lost in the mix. He was completely befuddled. As frustrating as it was to her, there was nothing she could do about it. If she had earplugs, she could ignore him and block it all out. Forget for a moment that her dearly beloved was nutty as a fruitcake. Of course, thinking that only made her feel guilty. People weren’t supposed to talk like that. But she’d only thought it.
She definitely felt sorry for CT. He didn’t like his condition any more than she did. Under normal circumstances he would’ve rejoiced over his daughter and granddaughter’s visit. Instead, he was holding them at arm’s length. The world was such a confusing place for him. And today had not helped.
She leaned back into her bed pillows, still longing for escape and knowing there was none. She might get a tiny reprieve while she recovered from her concussion, but CT would expect her to be up and at ’em soon. He would never understand the doctor’s insistence that she “rest” for a few days. Well, at least she had help.
“Hey, Grandma.” Cooper stuck her head through the cracked-open door. “You asleep?”
“No.” Honey pushed herself back into a sitting position. “Come in, Cooper.”
