“Come on, George. What’s the worst that could happen? If you don’t like it, you never have to go again. But if you don’t go today, I bet you’ll never go.” She glanced at his wall clock. “It starts in fifteen minutes.” She tugged on his arm. “Tell Baxter goodbye and come.”
To her surprise, George quit protesting and came. As she drove over to the church, which was actually a restored barn, she chatted to George about her latest happenings, telling him about Josie’s progress as an artist and how Collin appeared to be recovering from his heartache.
“The tai chi class is here?” George frowned as she pulled into the gravel parking lot. “I thought this was your church.”
“Well, it’s a lot of things. Kind of an activity center and everything.” She parked and hopped out. “Come on, George, we don’t want to be late.” But as they hurried across theparking area, she felt a stab of concern. What if the class was women only? Or what if George resented her pushiness? Had she been a camel’s nose again? But how else did one get George Emerson out of his rut?
To Willow’s relief, George wasn’t the only male in the class. Lulu’s dad, Donald, was there. He was probably close to eighty but in great shape and took a real interest in George. The class was surprisingly soothing and, although the motions were slow and not overly physical, Willow felt like she’d had a bit of a workout when the class ended. But a good sort of workout. And she really appreciated how Lulu incorporated God into the meditative part of the exercises. “That was wonderful,” she told Lulu afterward. “Thank you.”
“Do you think your friend liked it?” Lulu asked quietly. George was in the back of the room talking to Donald. “I couldn’t tell by his expression.”
“Hard to say,” Willow told her. “But I’ll find out.”
“It would be nice if he kept coming. Dad was worried he’d be the only fellow.”
As Willow drove George home, she asked what he thought of tai chi. “I realize I sort of kidnapped you,” she confessed. “I hope it wasn’t too torturous.”
“It was okay. As you know, I don’t believe in God, so I didn’t particularly appreciate Lulu’s references to faith and Bible verses and such. But I must admit that the mental and physical part was good.” He sighed. “And I do feel more relaxed. It’s too bad she couldn’t just leave her religious propaganda out of it. I doubt that was how tai chi was meant to be practiced.”
Willow felt sad to hear him talk like this. She was familiar with George’s claims of atheism and knew his beliefsdiffered from hers, but somehow she perceived him in a different sort of light. He had a kind and generous spirit. He seemed vulnerable ... like a wounded wayfarer on his own faith journey. One that she hoped would eventually lead him to God. But hearing him going on like this about the tai chi class was disheartening. Almost like a setback. Maybe it had been a mistake to take him with her today.
twenty-two
Willow wasn’t quite ready to give up on this conversation about God and faith with George. Even if it felt uncomfortable, it was important. Besides, she genuinely cared about George. “I’m curious,” she said slowly as she drove through town. “I know you don’t believe in God, George, but you mentioned your grandparents were churchgoing people. It makes me curious as to how you arrived at your atheist philosophy.”
“Time ... and life. It just makes sense to me.”
“It’s ironic. I grew up in a family that never darkened a church door. I was a wild, crazy girl who never had faith of any kind. For most of my life too. But I eventually hit a place where I needed a higher power in my life. And when I discovered that God was really real, well, I grabbed on tight and I’ve been holding on ever since.”
“Interesting.” George sounded more bored than intrigued. But Willow was not dissuaded. Not yet anyway.
“I’m wondering about something.” She parked in front of his house. “I’ve decided it takes a lot of faith to be an atheist. Even more faith than it takes to be a believer.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Well, you’re putting your trust in your own belief that God does not exist.” She turned off the ignition and looked at him. “What if you get to the end of your life and find out you’re wrong—you discover that God is real, but you’ve banked all your bets on the conviction that he’s not real. What then?”
“What about you?” George countered. “Haven’t you banked all your bets on the possibility that Godisreal? What if he’s not?”
She considered this. “Well, at least I’d be able to say that I lived a good life. That I was happy and at peace. That I tried to love everyone and practiced forgiveness. I didn’t live in fear. And I fully appreciated the beauty around me and utilized my natural talents. So if by chance God wasn’t real, at least I’d have enjoyed a rich and full life. Can you make that same claim?”
George didn’t respond, but his brow was furrowed.
“So you see, my belief wouldn’t have hurt me. What about yours?”
He continued to stare straight ahead in stony silence.
“But, George, if God is real—like I believe he is—I will be exceedingly thankful that I did believe in him. Not only because of a satisfying earthly life, but because I’d like to continue a loving relationship with God throughout eternity.”
“That’s a very long time.” George sighed.
“It would be a much, much longer time if you had to spend eternitywithoutGod. I can’t imagine being separated from God’s love for even a day.”
“Here’s the truth, Willow.” He turned to her with a verysomber expression. “If I believed in God, I would have to believe that he is a hateful, selfish, mean God.”
“But he’s not. He’s loving and gracious and kind and—”
“I must disagree. If God does exist, which I cannot accept, then the only explanation would be that God must hate me.”
