EIGHT
By the time they made it back to their room a few minutes later, it was almost one in the morning.Candace headed straight for the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed, unable to shake the anxiety that had followed her from the meeting.
Though judging from the way Ryan had just pinned her to the elevator wall on the way up a few moments ago, it was clear he was only thinking about getting her naked the moment she stepped out into the bedroom.On the one hand she wanted more of that connection with her husband, but on the other, she was too caught up in her head to be able to enjoy it right now.
She smoothed her hands down the front of her dress, suddenly nervous about what she had to say.Well, more about his reaction and response to it.But putting it off any longer wasn’t an option.Had to be now.
When she stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, however, she wavered.Ryan was stretched out on the bed watching her, stark naked, one muscular arm tucked beneath his head.Pure, decadent sin tempting her on every level.
“Come over here,” he said in that low, sexy voice that always made her insides clench in anticipation.
She faltered for a moment, drinking in the sight of that beautiful, hard male body waiting for her.You can still enjoy him afterward, Candace.She raised her eyes to his, cleared her throat.“I want to talk.”
His face went blank, then wariness crept into his eyes.“Now?”
“Yes, now.”She’d never be able to sleep tonight until this was cleared up.
“Can’t we talk after?”
He was such a guy.“Sex doesn’t solve everything, Ryan,” she said, frustration making her voice sharper than she’d intended.
A slight frown creased his forehead as he slowly sat up and propped himself against the headboard.“Okay...Is this about what Taylor said?”
“No.Well, partly.”Letting out a deep breath, she crossed to the bed and sat on it, her hip inches from his.She’d thought about how to word this for weeks now, had to make it clear so he understood.“I miss you.”
He searched her eyes for a long moment, as though she were a puzzle he was trying to figure out.“I’m right here.”
She lifted a hand to stroke his face, let her fingers linger on the soft whiskers of his beard.She’d been bottling this up for so long and now she had to let it out.“I told you most of it yesterday, but there’s more.”When he waited, she continued.“I feel like we’re drifting apart and I’m scared if we don’t stop it, that it might lead to big problems between us.Like, us turning into near strangers and our marriage falling apart.”
At that he sat up straighter, concern on his face.“Why would you think that?”
Was she really the only one who felt this way?She wasn’t crazy; theyhadbeen drifting apart.How could he not have felt it, or at least noticed?She twisted her fingers together in her lap.“We just...we’re not as close as we used to be.Emotionally.”
He slipped an arm around her hips and dragged her onto his lap to tuck her into the cradle of his body.The ache in her heart eased the moment his arms closed around her.Heavy and strong.Loving.“I know we’ve been apart a lot over the past couple years, but that hasn’t changed the way I feel about you one bit.I love you even more now than I did the day I married you.”
She lifted her head to look into his mahogany-brown eyes.“You do?”
“Of course,” he said, sounding offended that she’d question it.“Why, are you saying you don’t love me the way you used to?”
“I do, I just feel like we’re not as close as we were and I miss that.And I’m not trying to make you feel guilty about being away—you know I’m well aware of what your job requires and that I fully support your career.But I miss us.I miss my husband,” she finished, her stupid voice catching as her throat locked up.She didn’t even know if she was making sense, but she didn’t know how else to word it.“I miss being in bed with you and waking up with you there, being able to talk to you about anything and everything.I miss feeling safe with you next to me.And I want to make plans together for our life.”
He stiffened slightly.“I tried to stay in touch with you this last time as much as I could.”
“I know, but in all our e-mails and phone calls, we mostly talked about surface stuff, especially after that tense call.Nothing really important about what we want, or anything about our future as a couple.”
“So you’re saying...what?You want me to quit?”
“No,” she said, appalled that he’d even think she’d ask that of him.“I know how much you love your job, and if you quit because of me you’d resent me for it.”
He visibly relaxed.“What then?”
“I guess I want us both to try harder when we’re apart,” she said, tracing her fingertips over the notch between his collarbones.“We both need to make more of an effort to stay connected with one another on an emotional level.”
She was quiet a moment.“Remember when we were out in those mountains together?It was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through, not gonna lie, but I’d never felt closer to anyone than I did to you then.And for those few weeks afterward as well.”
