That lifelong specter of financial anxiety took hold.“And while you’re doing that, we’re going to eat up a good chunk of what we’ve saved.”She didn’t understand what it was like to not have money.How stressing about finances triggered him.
She hadn’t grown up living off canned goods and boxes of mac and cheese every day for months while his dad stretched the money he brought home as far as it could go so he could still cover his monthly alimony payments and the mortgage.
She’d spent her summers at a beach house in Cape Cod, while the highlight of his summers was the single trip to the ice cream shop he’d made with his dad on Labor Day each year.
He’d be damned if he allowed them to struggle like that now, even for a day.
“We need to be smart about this, save for the future, because you said you want to stay home for the first few years if we have kids.”Yeah, her family was filthy rich and would probably help them out if things got tight, but he’d rather die than take a handout from them.Something she knew perfectly well and thus far had respected.
“I do, but you’re not hearing me.I want out, and I’ve made the decision to leave as soon as my contract’s done.I’ve already sent in the paperwork.”
He put his hands on his hips.“So I get no say in this at all?”Not that he was a marriage expert by any means, but weren’t decisions like that supposed to be made together?Especially when it affected their financial future.
“Sure you get a say, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide what I do with the rest of my life.”He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off.“I also want to have kids before I hit thirty-five, which isn’t too far away.And I have to admit, the idea of being a single mom while you serve continual combat deployments overseas doesn’t sound so awesome either.”
He blinked.“What does that mean?Now you want me to get out too?”
“No,” she said, frustration clear in her voice.
Her whole argument made no sense to him at all.It wasn’t logical.“Then what?Why do you want out so bad?”
“Because I can’tdothis anymore, okay?Ican’t.”Guilt punched through him at the tremor in her voice.She was one of the strongest people he’d ever known, so seeing her this upset took him off guard.
“Do what?”he asked, not understanding why she seemed so emotional about this, but she spun away and ripped the door open before he could stop her.
He rushed out into the hallway after her.Thankfully it was empty.“Candace.”This was crazy.“Can’t dowhat?”Fly the aircraft she loved?Serve the country they both loved?
She shook her head and kept going, marching for the elevator, back ramrod straight, head held high.He pushed out a frustrated breath and followed.
Goddamn it.This was bullshit and there was no way he was letting this go until he understood what was going on.
What the hell had she meant?What couldn’t she do anymore?
She loved flying the Spectre.She was proud of her job and rightly so.Wanting to leave the Air Force without a clear plan in mind was totally unlike her.He tamped down his irritation and got into the elevator with her without a word, giving them both a few moments to rein in their tempers.
She studiously ignored him as the elevator doors shut in front of them.He glanced at her profile, caught the flush in her cheeks and the sheen of tears in her eyes.
Seeing her on the verge of crying twisted something in his chest.That’s why she’d just rushed out of the room, so he wouldn’t see her on the verge of breaking down.
Hating her silence and to see her hurting, he lifted a hand and brushed a soft wave of hair off her shoulder.“Hey.Talk to me.Why are you so upset about all this?”
Turning her head, she nailed him with an angry glare.“Because you’re being an insensitive, unsupportive jackass.”
He snatched his hand back.Wow, okay then.“I’m trying to help us stay stable financially, and planning for down the road.I’m being responsible and protecting us and our future.”Because if she stayed home once they had kids, they were going to burn through their savings pretty fast.Even with his hazard pay, things would be tight.He didn’t want them to struggle like that.
“Yeah, well, if this has been your idea of being helpful and responsible, you can not bother from now on.”She folded her arms across her breasts and moved a step away from him.Shutting him out.
It pissed him off, and dammit, it hurt too.
A second later they reached the ground floor and she stormed out of the elevator before the doors had fully opened.Ryan trailed after her, angry and baffled at the same time.
They didn’t speak as they walked through the front doors.Out in the bright morning sunshine she turned right and headed across the lawn, taking a deep breath as she shook her hair back over her shoulders.
God, they were going to be at the stables in a matter of minutes and, while he didn’t give a shit what other people thought, he didn’t want their friends to know they were arguing.Normally she was the one who wanted to hash things out until they were resolved, but now he was the one who couldn’t stand to let this go on any longer.Talk about role reversal.
Enough.
He caught up to her in a few strides.Wrapping a hand around her elbow, he pulled her around the corner of the building, into a shaded area where they could have at least a little privacy.
