He pulled in a deep breath and on the exhale, “Bisexual” escaped.
There. It was now out in the universe.
And the sky didn’t fall.
Hope blinked and confusion filled her face. “Okay?”
“Like your yoga, not everyone is open to that lifestyle.”
“But this place”—she waved her hand around—“is one of the most accepting places I’ve ever been.”
“Yes. I can freely be who I am here. Without judgement.”
“And have you been open about it?” she asked.
“No. Believe it or not, you’re only the second person I’ve told.” He was surprised how freeing it felt to finally admit it. Like a heavy load had been lifted from his shoulders.
With her mouth gaping, she set her mug down with a clunk on the tiny two-person table. “Wait a minute. How old are you?”
“Forty-six.”
“You’ve kept your sexuality hidden for forty-six years?”
“Well, the men I’ve been with had an idea,” he half-teased, then shrugged. “Or they assumed I was gay, I guess. The truth is, I’ve never been in an actual relationship with a man. It’s only been casual encounters.” Why was he spilling this info tonight?
Instinct told him she’d be fine with him being bisexual. Not all women were.
“In secret.”
“Yes.”
“Wow. I’m sorry you felt the need to hide it.”
“Some of it had to do with my career. I entered the state police academy right after turning twenty-one.” He had been so young and only learning about himself at the time.
He had girlfriends in high school, of course, but his eyes had occasionally wandered to his male classmates.
It took him a while to figure out that interest was more than curiosity. He was attracted to men—or, at that age, boys—as much as girls.
At the time, he didn’t know what to do with that information. So for a while, he did nothing, hoping that interest would just fade away.
It didn’t. It got stronger. Then he met Molly and they hit it off. He hoped she would be enough for him. Sadly, she wasn’t.
Again, not her fault. It was his. He wasn’t sure how she would take his confession. She’d been surprised since he’d hidden it well enough, and also sad for him. At the time, they decided not to tell Laurel about it, only that they were breaking up due to irreconcilable differences.
The reason wasn’t important to their daughter, she’d been more concerned about the fact her parents were splittingup. Now that she was in her early twenties, he’d considered mentioning it, but since he wasn’t seeing a man, there really wasn’t a point.
He figured it was best to have a reason to bring it up. It might be a bit weird for him to randomly confess that he was into both men and women.
But maybe he was going about it the wrong way.
“I can imagine,” she started, “with you being in a male-dominated career, it had to be a bit more difficult to tell your co-workers that you were anything other than a straight, alpha male.”
“Especially when we shared the same locker room.”
“Usually the people who complain the loudest have something to hide themselves. They’re beating themselves up on the inside, so they take it out on others.”
“You’re probably right,” he murmured. “I wish we were at the point where one’s sexuality wasn’t a big deal.”
