“I don’t think you are crazy.”
“Liar.”
“Hey.” His hand slips over mine, squeezing my fingers together. “You’re not crazy for having a past or triggers. It’s not weakness to show those pieces, it’s human.”
I sit up, nudging away from him and reaching for my leggings as if covering up could protect me from this moment. Pullingthem on, I shake my head. “Everyone always says shit like that when things are fresh and fun, and all there is to depend on is mind blowing orgasms.”
Noah’s lip quirks. “I’m not seeing the problem.”
I scoff. “This was supposed to be a business trip. We come, we fix, we leave. And then this whole pretend dating thing was thrown in. And then, even when I shouldn’t have been, I couldn’t stop thinking about your hands all over me, and we broke the rules. The rules were supposed to keep this from getting complicated. The rules were supposed to keep me from having to think about what comes next.”
The rules were supposed to keep me safe.
“To be fair,” Noah says, interrupting my train of thought as he stands to pull his pants back on. “I didn’t think the rules were going to work at all. I brought condoms with me for god’s sake. I’ve wanted this for longer than you think.”
My cheeks flush, the idea of Noah silently scoffing at our rules an alluring image. He sinks back onto the mattress, but I remain standing, shaking my head.
“You don’t want this. You don’t want me.”
“You don’t get to do that.”
I frown.
“You don’t get to tell me what I want. If you don’t want this, that’s fine. We had an agreement and I will honor it. We said it was just this weekend, and I meant what I said. You are safe with me. I won’t push you past what you want. But you can’t make rules for me. I like what we have going here, and your scars don’t scare me.”
“They should.”
“They don’t.”
His response is so firm and immediate, there’s no mistaking the truth of it.
“I don’t know if I can.”
The plane hits another pocket of turbulence and Noah reaches for my hand, tugging me to stand between his legs. He’s looking up at me, his gray eyes clear and earnest, a welcome change from the anger that was swimming in them earlier.
“I’m not pushing,” he says, finally. “But I am asking. Do you want this to end?”
No. Of course I don’t want this to end. Our mile high fuck fest is proof of that. But, I also don’t think I can take the next step. Noah must see the hesitation on my face, because he continues before I have a chance.
“I don’t know what tomorrow will look like, but giving up on this potential feels like failing before we even try.”
“Good sex doesn’t mean what you think it does.”
“It’s not about that.”
My face falls into a smirk and he chuckles.
“Okay, it’s notallabout that. I see the potential with you.”
Potential. The potential for more. The potential for us. The potential for hurt.
“I don’t think?—”
“So don’t. Answer my question. Do you want this to end?”
I close my eyes. “No. I don’t, but?—”
“Then we start there. We don’t have to decide what this looks like right now. You don’t have to think about a whole future together. Just give me right now. Give me the promise of tomorrow.”
