“But you’renevermad.”
I huffed out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well. I’ve never had a wife who’s hell-bent on not allowing herself to need anyone, and it’s pissing me off.”
Her breath caught, and for a second, I worried I’d said too much. Pushed her too far. But, fuck. It was true.
From the sidelines, I’d been watching her suffer for years. But having an up close and personal viewing of it since being married was an entirely different beast. And it had only beentwoweeks.
She wasn’tthrivingon her own. She was barely surviving.
And I wasn’t going to stand by and watch her struggle alone anymore.
I didn’t care if this marriage wasn’t real to her, or if we’d only entered it with the end already in mind. I was here, and I was hers—for now anyway. And I was going to act like it.
After a beat, I stood, strode around the bed to my side, and climbed in next to her. I didn’t say a word. Just stretched out, one arm tucked behind my head and the other reaching for her. I ran my fingertips gently over the inside of her forearm. Featherlight and soothing.
It took a while, but eventually, she started to soften under my touch. Her breathing slowed as she unclenched her jaw and unfurled her fingers, her whole body seeming to finally exhale.
“Most people would’ve gone straight for my back and tried to massage the hell out of it,” she murmured into the quiet space.
“I’m not most people.”
The added stimulation in that area would only make her pain flare brighter, which I knew because of something she’d mentioned years ago. But I was hoping if I could distract her mind with gentle, soft movements and get her nervous system to calm down, even a little, she’d be able to find a sliver of peace.
She slid me a look out of the corner of her eye. “How’d you know?”
I lifted a single shoulder. “I pay attention.”
Her expression softened. Like maybe she was allowing herself the briefest moment to admit she didn’t hate being taken care of and didn’t hate that I was the one doing the caring.
Silence fell again as I continued running soft fingertips over her skin and she continued letting me. It was more than I’d hoped for, so I was going to take it and do it for as long as she’d allow.
“If I weren’t renting out the farmhouse, I’d soak for an hour in that big claw-foot tub,” she murmured, her voice wistful. “I even thought about asking Jeff to build me something on the porch over here. An outdoor soaking tub of some kind.”
Excuse the fuck out of me?
I slowly turned my head toward her. “You thought about askingJeffto do this for you?”
“Jeff…the handyman?” she asked, clearly confused. “Yeah, why?”
“Nothing. Whatever.” My voice came out harsher than I meant it to. “I can be handy too.”
She huffed out a laugh, her eyes already closing again. “It’s no big deal. Just an idea…”
I didn’t say anything in response, but I clenched my jaw hard enough that it popped.Jeff. She was gonna ask Jeff. Like I didn’t have two perfectly good hands, a YouTube app, and a possibly unhealthy obsession with making her life easier.
If she needed something, her husband sure as shit would take care of it for her, not fucking Jeff.
Willa shifted, wincing before she could hide it, and I was immediately on alert.
“What do you need? Another gummy?”
“You trying to get me high as fuck? I’m not making out with you again.”
“Rightnow, you mean.” I grinned as she rolled her eyes. “And I’m just trying to get you comfortable. How can I do that?”
She adjusted herself again, her face pinching in pain before she settled against the bed and the lines bracketing her mouth finally relaxed. She closed her eyes and blew out a long, steady breath. “Distract me, please.”
Somehow, I didn’t think she meant with another day of practice.
