I clicked the shutter, feeling…specialin that moment. That I was able to bear witness to this man who’d cultivated an image so far from the one he showed now—therealone.
In the public eye, he was Asher McCoy, up-and-coming country-rock music star, with the croon of a brokenhearted man and fingers meant for more than just strumming a guitar. But here, in the privacy of these four walls, he was merely Asher. Best friend since childhood, loving brother and uncle, and devoted man.
Which made my decision all the more taxing.
Owen’s voice crackled over the baby monitor, his cries forma-ma-ma-manearly ripping my heart in two. From the devastated look Asher shot me, he felt my pain ten times over.
“I got it,” I said, brushing a hand across his lower back as I passed him on my way to Owen’s room.
I cracked open the door, a swath of light illuminating the little boy as he stood in his crib, drawing his leg up as if attempting to mount the rails and climb right out.
“Whoa, buddy.” I scooped him up and held him close. “Let’s save the rappelling till you’re a little older, yeah? I promise I’ll take you when you’re ready.”
This was the part of the job I hadn’t quite perfected. Playing and roughhousing and exploring…making trouble, basically, were all right up my alley. But when quiet snuggling was required, I stumbled.
I’d never been one to sit still, my body constantly humming with the need tomove. But nevertheless I sat and rocked. Ran my hand down Owen’s back while he rubbed his face back and forth along my shoulder, as if he, too, couldn’t get comfortable.
Who knew how long later, I finally gave up, and the two of us headed for the room I’d been sharing with Asher since I’d arrived.
He hadn’t yet been able to step foot into Aubrey and Nathan’s bedroom, and I hadn’t had the heart to push him to. I hadn’t seen the need. It wasn’t exactly a hardship to have a built-in cuddle buddy and toe warmer—my feet, no matter the heat, were perpetually cold.
And if I had to stuff down the knowledge that I now knew the approximate length and girth of my best friend’s morning wood thanks to a couple predawn wake-ups, well…I could take that to my grave.
I stepped into our shared room and found Asher sprawled out on his side, June tucked into him. He shot me a sleepy grin and lifted the shoulder that wasn’t currently buried under his niece.
I responded in kind with a tip of my head toward Owen, who’d snuggled into my chest, his eyes heavy and drooping. Though I knew if I attempted to set him in his crib, he’d start crying all over again. We’d been down that road seven times before.
Careful not to jostle Owen, I climbed into bed and slipped under the covers, my arm holding the baby now pressed against Asher’s.
“Not exactly the evenin’ we had planned, huh?” I said, my voice a mere breath in the quiet room.
“That’s okay. We’ve got tomorrow.” Asher hooked his fingers together with mine and squeezed. “Thanks for bein’ here, Nattie. I couldn’t do this without you.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the cloak of darkness or our nearness or that us, lying there together, felt more intimate than pretty much anything I’d felt in my entire life, but I nearly opened my mouth and spilled the fact that I couldn’t doanythingwithout him.
He was my rock, no matter where I was in the world. Even though Nash was the third in our trio,Asherwas the one constant I could always count on.
Instead of baring that part of my soul and telling him that, I squeezed his fingers encased in mine. “Clearly.”
CHAPTER TEN
NAT
If I had hopedthat sleeping on it would give me more perspective, I was sorely mistaken. I’d woken up with June’s hand slung over my face and Owen’s foot in my ribs, but the funny thing was, I hadn’t even minded.
I wasn’t a dainty sleeper. I didn’t curl up in one corner and never move from that space. I was asprawler. If I had a king-sized bed all to myself, it was too small.
But here, I’d been crammed onto a queen with two children who were apparently auditioning for the circus in their dreams, limbs flailing every thirty minutes. Not to mention the six-foot-one, 180-pound man taking up half the mattress. And somehow that hadn’t made me run for the door.
Okay, so Ihadactually run for the door, but I was proud to say I hadn’t snuck out. I’d told Asher that Will had needed mine and my sisters’ opinions on something for the wedding, so I had to run out for a bit.
Except from the look he’d shot me—one that said he knew exactly what I was doing and exactly why I was doing it—I knew I hadn’t pulled off anything.
Really, it didn’t matter how I’d slipped away to Rory’s house, only that I was there and could finally unload the thought thathad been plaguing me all night. The one that had seeped into my dreams where I’d walked down an aisle filled with quicksand, my ankles shackled the whole way.
Asher hadn’t downpoured me for something as simple as supper, or for me to extend my stay for maybe another week. Nope. Asher downpoured me tomarryme.
Me.
