“You gonna ride home with Hudson, Mac?” Will asked, resting a hand on my forearm.
“Yeah.” I nodded, deciding it was best just not to tell my sisters I planned to send Hud on his way while I stuck around with Momma. They’d make it into a whole big deal, and none of us needed that right now.
So instead, I just stood next to my momma, waving everyone off, trying valiantly to ignore Hudson’s laser-focused stare that had been pinning me in place for the past five minutes.
Once everyone else was gone, Momma turned to me. “Y’all gonna head out now?”
“No.”
She blinked at me for a few seconds, as if stunned by my firm answer. “No?”
“No,” I confirmed, shaking my head. “I’m stayin’ with you. Hud can go home. I wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“Honey.” Her eyes softened, and she lifted a hand to cup my cheek. “That’s real sweet, but I’m fine. Your daddy’s fine. We’re all fine. And you need to go home and rest.”
“But I don’t!” I said, surprised by my vehemence. “BecauseIgot to sleep last night and the night before. BecauseIwasn’t here when I needed to be. BecauseIwas roamin’ around, makin’ everyone worry, when they had other things to concentrate on. So, no.” I stood tall, voice firm as I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not leavin’. I’m stayin’ right here with you.” I swallowed hard, attempting to shove down the knot that had formed in my throat. “I need to be—I need todosomething.”
So much for swallowing down all that emotion, because from the way Momma cocked her head to the side, her lips curving down in the corners, she’d caught the slight tremble in my voice.
“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t beat yourself up about bein’ gone. You hardly ever leave, and it was good you got away for a while.”
“But I?—”
“None of that now. It was impossible for any of us to predict this. You got here when you could, and that’s all that matters.”
I nodded, but inside, all I could think about was the fact that I’d fucked up, and I’d done so when my family needed me the most.
I hadn’t texted Will when Hudson and I had gotten to the highest point to let her know what was going on. I hadn’t checked in with anyone, too wrapped up in Hudson to see beyond our insane chemistry. And, yeah, I’d finally gotten to the hospital, but my sister—who’d been a literal half a world away—had managed to arrive before me.
Heat enveloped the length of my back, and I didn’t need to turn around to know Hudson had come up behind me, standing so close, our bodies had to be nearly touching.
“Get her home for me, will you?” Momma asked, her gaze directed over my shoulder.
He settled a hand on my hip, his thumb brushing up and down along my side. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m not— I can’t?—”
“Mac,” Momma said, tone soft but firm. “I’m stayin’ with your daddy, and I’d like to be alone. If you need something to do, go check on town hall. Daddy was there Saturday mornin’, and we left in such a rush, I don’t even know if I locked up his office or not. Can you do that for me?”
I blew out a frustrated breath. I could go check on things at town hall and then come right back. With drive time, it’d put me back here well into the night, but I didn’t care. I was going to?—
“And then go home, sweetheart.”
I froze, my eyes snapping to my mom’s. “But, Momma?—”
“Don’t ‘But, Momma’ me, Mackenna. I’m exhausted, and I know you are too. It’s been a long few days, and I need some alone time with your daddy before the slew of visitors starts pouring in. I’m gonna spend the evening tellin’ him all the ways I’m gonna kill him now that we know he’s gonna live.”
I breathed out a laugh, my shoulders slumping in defeat. One thing about being a competitor all my life was that I knew when the fight was over. I knew when to give in or to push harder. And pushing my momma harder would only be cruel at this point.
“Okay,” I said with a nod. “I’ll check on town hall and go home, if that’s what you need.”
Her face softened with a smile, her eyes warming as she stared at me. “That’s exactly what I need. Thank you.”
If that was what my mom needed, then that was what I was going to give her. I was sick and tired of being the failure in the family, of being the person no one called, of being the last one everyone thought of.
And I was willing to sacrifice anything in order to finally prove my worth.
CHAPTER THIRTY
