Nash was that for Rory. Asher, though platonically, was that for Nat. Who did I have? And who hadme?
The thought made my stomach twist and my throat tighten. It made me want to shrink in my seat until I couldn’t be seen. Hide myself away like I’d been doing my whole life.
Because if I pulled away first, if I avoided and hid from the world, it wouldn’t hurt so badly when no one needed or noticed me.
But was it really hiding if no one saw you anyway?
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
MAC
Somewhere around late afternoon,I had lost track of time. I was exhausted, and I’d only been there for half a day. I couldn’t even imagine how tired the rest of my family must have been.
We’d managed brief snippets of sleep between the commotion around us, the announcements over the speakers, and the well-meaning but near-constant phone calls from friends checking in, but it wasn’t enough and certainly wasn’t sustainable.
I sat, slumped against Hudson’s side, his arm draped over my shoulders as I rested my head on his chest. His phone was propped on his knee, turned toward me, and a comedy special streamed on the device.
I’d never have guessed what I’d needed was to watch an inappropriate and crass comedienne while in the ICU waiting room, and yet here I was. Though, to be fair, I’d had absolutely no idea what I’d needed since the moment we’d walked through the doors.
But Hudson had. All day, he’d been fulfilling my needs without me uttering a word—first with some much-needed coffee, then with the cookie he’d brought back with lunch. Andthen there were the baby llama videos and the bloopers fromThe Officeand a video that was just five straight minutes of puppies playing.
Honestly, I sort of wished he’d cut it out, because he was only proving to me just how perfect he was and how well hegotme.
Now, if only he’d choose me and stay…
“Mrs. Haven?” a voice called. A Black man wearing light blue scrubs stood in front of the doors that led to the ICU patient rooms.
“Yes?” Momma sprang to her feet, wringing her hands in front of her as she strode toward the surgeon.
I jumped up, along with my sisters and gran, until we surrounded our mom. The six of us huddled together, our hands clasped as we waited for the news we’d been simultaneously hopeful for and dreading all day.
I eyed the surgeon critically. Since I hadn’t been there when my daddy had been brought in, I had no idea who’d been performing this life-saving surgery on him or their level of competency. And I had no idea how to gauge such a thing.
The doctor was short and stocky, standing only a few inches taller than me. He could’ve been anywhere between thirty-five and fifty-five, but I’d guess he was closer to the latter. His rich, brown skin showed only a few laugh lines, but he was bald and his short-trimmed beard was almost completely white. Kind eyes met mine behind his round, tortoiseshell glasses, and I felt myself relaxing.
Surely he wouldn’t look at me like that if something had happened, right?
“Good news,” he said, and the entire room seemed to expand with a collective exhale. “The surgery went very well, though we did run into a few complications that held things up a bit. After we took Richard off bypass, the graft began leaking, so we had to go back on bypass to do further repairs.”
“But he’s okay now?” Momma asked, her brow furrowed with worry.
“Yes, ma’am. We got him all fixed up. We’ll need to watch him in the coming days to make sure he’s coughing and clearing out his lungs. Pneumonia is always a concern in bypass patients. But if he does what he’s supposed to?—”
“Oh, he’ll do it, all right,” Gran said, her voice firm.
The surgeon shot her a grin. “Good, that’s what I’d hoped to hear. As long as he follows the instructions given and starts leading a healthier lifestyle, I don’t see any reason why he won’t make a full recovery.”
ThankGod. I hadn’t allowed myself to really go down the path of the what-ifs, but they’d been in the back of my mind since I’d talked to Will that morning. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed to hear that my dad was okay until I’d gotten that confirmation.
“Am I able to see him?” Momma’s voice wobbled the slightest bit, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap an arm around her.
He nodded. “He can have visitors, but only in pairs for the time being. He’s still very much out of it, and I expect him to remain so for the rest of the evening.”
“Thank you, Dr. Harris.” Momma threw her arms around the surgeon and squeezed him tight. “Thank you so much for savin’ his life.”
He patted her on the back while accepting her exuberant embrace. “It was my pleasure. If he does as he’s supposed to, he’ll be causing trouble for you ladies for many years to come.”
After Dr. Harris walked away, Rory squeezed Momma’s hand. “Why don’t you and Gran go in first?”
