I satin one of the rocking chairs on my front porch, my stomach a mixture of knots and butterflies, all thanks to my impromptu overnight trip.
It’d only been hours since the bet I’d made with Hudson, which meant I hadn’t had nearly enough time to wrap my brain around what I was about to do. Or surround my heart in bubble wrap. And he’d be here any minute to pick me up, so time wasn’t on my side.
The plan was to drive to the base of Havenbrook Ridge, then hike to the top, where we’d camp out for the weekend. It’d be a new adventure for us both since he’d never been, and while I loved camping, I didn’t have a lot of souls willing to go with me. I wasn’t dumb enough to hike through the harsh territory of Havenbrook Ridge by myself. Because of that, camping usually consisted of just me and Ella in the woods on our property.
If only I could blame my nerves on the newness and excitement of what I was about to do. Hiking the Ridge had been on my bucket list for more than ten years, and I was finally going to do it. That’d be enough to set anyone’s stomach aflutter.
Except…I never got nervous over things like that. Even on my first excursion—oranyexcursion—with the kids in the outreachprogram, I was cool as a cucumber. I’d been in a new place, hadn’t known a soul, and hadn’t had any idea what to expect, and yet I’d strode in there without a single worry.
I could try to fool myself all I wanted, but there was no denying the real reason for my stomach churning like a Category 5 hurricane. It was Hudson, plain and simple.Meand Hudson, more specifically, and just what the hell was going on between us.
Nothingshould be going on between us.
We didn’t have time. He was leaving in ten days—not that I was keeping a running mental tally or anything—and then…what? Then we’d go back to what we’d been these past ten years—barely friends—and I wasn’t sure I could go through losing him like that all over again.
I lifted my head toward the rumble of Hudson’s truck, my gaze connecting with the dark blue rusted beast bouncing down the drive to my house. God, that truck brought back a lot of memories, and I couldn’t believe the damn thing still ran.
It’d carted us to every football game, every day of school, every weekend at the lake… We’d hunted down Nat and her two best friends, Asher and Nash, in that thing too many times to count.
My favorite memories in it were when we’d go out to Old Mill Road and lie in the truck bed, staring up at the stars and talking about our futures. That was where we’d concocted our plan to go to college together—a plan Hudson had bailed on only days before we were set to leave.
Why that still caused a sharp twist in my heart, I didn’t know. He’d done what he’d needed to do, and it wasn’t as if his choice had been selfish. He was fighting for the freedom of an entire country, so why had it hurt me so bad when he’d left?
Why did itstillhurt?
Hudson stepped out, shut his door, and strode toward me, looking like a walking sex dream, all confidence and charm. His fitted Henley did a poor job at concealing the bulges and dips of his muscles, though I certainly wasn’t complaining. He wore hiking boots and dark pants, aviator sunglasses hiding his eyes from me. Though, that was probably good—Lord knew he could melt me with a single glance, and I needed to stay solid as a rock.
He took the two porch steps in one stride, and then he stood there, hands braced on his hips, chin dipped toward my backpack resting against the railing. “Your phone workin’?”
I furrowed my brow and glanced down at the phone that’d been mocking me all morning. “Yeah, why?”
“You get my texts?”
The ones I’d been staring at for thirty minutes? “Yeah…”
“Did you…read them? ’Cause I’m pretty sure I told you I’d take care of all this—” he gestured to the pack by my feet “—and you didn’t need to worry about it.”
I stood and hefted the backpack over my shoulder, raising my eyebrows. “Yeah, well, I was always taught to come prepared, so…”
Besides, it felt too intimate to allow him to take care of that for me. Like something a boyfriend would do, and he certainly wasn’t that. It was probably a dumb thing to draw a line in the sand about, but here I was…drawing it.
His lips twitched, and he inclined his head, tucking his sunglasses on his collar. “Point taken.” Stepping into my space, he rested his hand on my hip, his thumb sneaking under the hem of my lightweight puffy jacket to rub faint circles on my skin. He moved closer until he was eye level with me. “But you know I’ve got you covered. I’d go without before I ever let you.”
Oh…no. I could feel my walls melting right where I stood, andnope. No sirree, this could not happen. I had to buck the hell up and brush it off—brush off his sweetness and hisconsideration and his protectiveness over me, even if I wanted to burrow in just to see what it was like to be the center of someone’s attention.
But if I had any hope of surviving this weekend with my heart intact, I needed to ignore all of it and focus on what would be left of me after he’d gone.
As I stared up at him, the weight from my shoulders lifted, but I didn’t avert my gaze. Couldn’t. Because his eyes were blazing as he looked down at me, hunger so blatant in them he might as well have a banner flying above his head. I only hoped mine weren’t revealing the same.
“You ready?” he asked, the rough, gravelly note to his voice shooting straight to my long-neglected lady parts and lighting them up from the inside out.
I was so completely fucked.
Without waiting for me to answer, he took my hand, interlacing our fingers, and tugged me behind him toward his truck. It wasn’t until we’d walked half the distance that I realized Hudson was carrying my pack.
“Hey,” I said, trying to tug my hand from his to reach for it. “I can carry it.”
He squeezed my hand, not letting it go, and glanced at me over his shoulder. “’Course you can.”
