He nodded at something the other person said, his lips pressed into a tight line. Whoever was on the other end of the call wasn’t someone Hudson was thrilled to talk to.
A branch snapped under my boots, and his eyes lifted, locking on mine immediately. “Will do, sir.” Without another word, he ended the call and pocketed his phone.
“Hey,” he said, his tone quiet. Reserved. So different from the man who growled about me riding him not even ten minutes before.
I forced a smile, though it felt like the corners of my mouth weighed two tons. “You get all cleaned up?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
His legs ate up the space between us in two long strides, and he bent down to press a kiss to my lips. As good as they felt against mine, I couldn’t deny that they still felt…offsomehow.
My stomach ached, though I didn’t understand why. All that hope I’d felt only minutes ago had been replaced by dread and uncertainty. I didn’t want to know who that call was from, buton some level, I was desperate to and couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Who was that?”
His pause lasted only a moment. “My commanding officer.”
The small ache that had bubbled up in my gut suddenly filled every inch of my body.
“Oh?” I managed to get out through the boulder currently lodged in my throat. “Bad news?”
He squeezed my hand, dipping his head to try to catch my eyes, imploring me for…something. “No, not bad news. Just discussin’.” He cleared his throat. “My next deployment.”
I was in free fall, the bottom dropping out from under me as my heart jumped into my throat. Without thought, I nodded, over and over again, until I felt like a bobblehead. A bobbleheadedidiot.
Apparently, I hadn’t learned my lesson last time. Apparently, ten years of near-constant heartache weren’t enough to get through my thick skull that maybe, justmaybe, I shouldn’t allow Hudson into my life again like I had before. I knew from experience he was the single soul in the entire universe with the power to break me, and yet I’d willingly walked right into his arms.Again.
Even when it was my own damn rules, I couldn’t stick to them. Just one more thing I failed at.
Well, that was enough of that. I needed to put my guard back up, erect those walls around my heart that had served me well for so long, because I couldn’t afford to lose my head around him. Not when it was my heart on the line.
Thank God we’d only taken things as far as we had. Thank God I hadn’t slept with him again. Because heaven knew if I opened myself up to him like that, allowed him into my body, my heart was a goner. And that was a price I couldn’t afford to pay.
It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
Now I only had to remind myself of that every day for the next fifteen days until he left. Had to remind myself not to fall into those whiskey-colored eyes. Not to be swept away by his sweet words and sweeter demeanor. Or worse, by his dirty words and dirtier demeanor.
Because it was way too easy to fall right back into old patterns with Hudson, and I needed my feet firmly planted on the ground if I had any hope of surviving this once he was gone.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HUDSON
“What’s gotyour panties in a bunch?” Lilah asked from her perch on a ladder.
Caleb snorted from where he squatted on the floor, holding the other end of the blue tape we were placing diagonally along the back wall of The Sweet Spot.
Christ, I should’ve stayed home instead of coming by to help Lilah paint before the new hardwood floors were laid later in the week. Cleaning out gutters would’ve been better than this.
“Bite me.” Okay, so it wasn’t my most mature response, but my little sister always managed to bring out the asshole teenager in me.
But I could admit—at least to myself—that she wasn’t far off. I’d been stomping around the bakery all morning as we’d worked on the diamond design Lilah was obsessed with for the walls, my mind constantly replaying the interaction with Kenna the other day.
The days were slipping away from me, the time I had to spend with her vanishing before my eyes, and I felt like I was grasping at air.
While she hadn’t flat out ignored me, it seemed a hell of a lot like she’d been avoiding me. Ever since our encounter in thewoods. And if I had to bet on it, I’d say it had nothing to do with our hot and heavy tree trunk activities and everything to do with the call I’d gotten after. I’d watched the life drain from her eyes the moment I’d told her who’d called and had kicked myself every second since.
Why the hell had I told her? Better yet, why the hell had I taken the call in the first place? I was on leave, which meant I didn’t need to answer to my commanding officer—the call could’ve easily been returned later that day when I was by myself. But habit had me answering without a second thought, and look where that got me.
“Your attitude have anything to do with the situation with the Havens?” Lilah asked.
