She shifted, bracing herself up on her elbow as she rested her hand on his bare chest. “Fortunately, I’m confident enough for the both of us.”
“Yeah?” he said, skimming his fingers up her spine. “That doesn’t surprise me. I think you probably strutted your way right out of your momma, not an ounce of self-consciousness or doubt in you.”
She loved the way he saw her. Loved the person she was in his eyes. “In that case, you should probably just believe me, then.”
“If only it were that easy. The Haywards have a team of people fightin’ for this. I’ve got Donovan and a social worker who hopefully has seen that we—” He cleared his throat. “That I love these kids enough to keep them.”
She ignored the pang in her heart when he stumbled over his words and cast her aside, leaving just him and the kids…a family of three she wouldn’t be a part of.
“Look, the Haywards are self-entitled pricks who haven’t even called check in on their grandkids. Even though Seville is a stubborn jackass, I’d bet my lens collection on the fact that even he wouldn’t be willin’ to place those kids with someone who wouldn’t love them as much as you do. All ’cause of a grudge.”
“Your lens collection, huh? Shit, wifey, you really are confident, aren’t you?”
“Damn straight. And once he names you guardian, we… Well, you three will be able to be one happy little family.”
Asher stared up at her, his eyes flitting between hers as he studied her for long moments before he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “And you’ll finally be able to leave Havenbrook. Again.”
They were the same words she’d said to herself dozens of times before. Had, in fact, said on every trip back home since the day she’d left.
So then, why did hearing them coming from him sit like a boulder in her stomach?
He reached up and brushed her hair back, running his thumb down the side of her face, his touch so gentle. So reverent. “I know how much you’ve given up to be here for me and for them. I’m never gonna be able to repay you for that, Nattie,” he said, his voice low and hoarse.
She swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat and pasted on a bright smile, while inside, it felt a little like she was dying. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
She laid down her head on his chest, her ear directly over his heart. She had no idea why it suddenly felt as if her insides were being ripped to shreds, her heart pulverized. It wasn’t the thought of leaving Havenbrook. This town, though she’d grown to like it a hell of a lot more than she had at eighteen, was still just a town. She’d seen hundreds of them over the years. Knew she could find her place anywhere in the world.
But it wasn’t the geography she was so sad to leave. Wasn’t the Square or the townsfolk or even her family. It was the thought of leaving Asher and the kids she’d grown to love. The very idea filled her with a sense of dread, not knowing what she’d do when they were no longer a daily part of her life.
For hours, she lay there, listening to Asher’s steady breaths and the soft beat of his heart. All the while, one thought repeated like a broken record in her mind.
She hoped he asked her to stay.
If Asher never stepped foot into another courtroom again as long as he lived, it would be too soon. The last time he’d been here had felt like a lifetime ago. Back when he’d been overwhelmed by grief and uncertainty over the future. Now, though the grief still swept over him in waves, it wasn’t the all-consuming tsunami it’d been in the beginning. The uncertainty, though… That was still weighing him down.
Before, he hadn’t known what the future would hold. Hadn’t known how to do any of this. Hadn’t known how to be the primary caregiver for two kids he’d only seen in small blinks of time.
Now, though, he knew Owen loved to rub Asher’s beard as he sang him to sleep. And though June fell asleep curled up in a ball, she woke upside down, sprawled in her bed. His nephew dreaded bath time, while his niece adored it so long as the tub was stacked a mile high with bubbles.
He’d kissed scraped knees, Googled home teething remedies, and even made a midnight drive to the twenty-four-hour pharmacy in Parkersville, all because of a fever of ninety-nine.
And through it all, Nat had held it together. Had kept their little family running, orbiting around her like she was the sun.
She’d certainly turned into his.
Even though he couldn’t see her right now, he felt her behind him. Her solid presence supporting him, unequivocally. He knew, no matter the outcome, she’d be there to support him. Even if that meant that, whatever the result, she wouldn’t actually be by his side while she did so.
Judge Seville cleared his throat and looked down at Asher over the rims of his reading glasses. “As you know, in cases involving child custodial rights, I have to look at much more than just the wishes of the parents, though those certainly play a large role in my decision. However, that’s not the only piece of information I need to consider.”
Asher folded his hands on the table and closed his eyes, a thousand memories flipping through his mind. Teaching June how to hold a guitar. Pushing Owen in a swing for the first time. Nat taking June up into her old tree house, Asher and Owen watching from the ground as the two had played peekaboo through the window, sending Owen into a fit of giggles.
“I took into account the reports from the social worker, the information Mr. Donovan sent over regarding the contract Mr. McCoy has signed for the publishing house, as well as several character witnesses who spoke to me on behalf of both Mr. and Mrs. McCoy.”
Fuck, it was strange hearing Nat referred to that way. Worse was the fact that she wouldn’t be that for much longer. Whatever happened today, Nat no longer had to be his wife.
He pictured June’s and Owen’s smiling faces just that morning as they’d wrestled him to the floor, Nat’s laughter ringing in his ears as she’d pulled out her phone to take a picture of them. She’d beamed at him, her smile bright and her eyes shining with love. No matter the outcome of this hearing, that was what he’d take with him.
“Based on those things,” Judge Seville continued, “I believe it is in the best interest of June and Owen Hayward that they remain in the custody of Asher McCoy and his wife, Natalie.”
